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The Banana Farmer of Billingshurst

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The Banana Farmer of Billingshurst Once upon a time in a magical faraway land there lived a poor banana farmer in a log cabin in the woods of Billingshurst. There had been a poor banana harvest and Mr Banana Farmer was down on his luck. He decided that the banana farming wasn't working out and so the banana farmer decided to become an accountant and sell his banana farm to an evil multinational corporation that would surely turn it into a sewage plant and kill everything nearby. But he didn't care as he was going to live in Birmingham and start 'Mr banana's accountants' where he would live a dull life. ...read more.


Operations like his own! He immediately used his super powers to fly to America, home of many of the companies that were trying to get rid of competitive banana farming for good, he looked in disgust at the greed that surrounded him and used his banana-psychic powers to summon the nearby bananas, they were pale and weak because of the neglect they received from the corporation, Mr B.F. vomited of the sight of them yet the bananas were angry and wanted revenge and stormed into the building, throwing themselves at the bumbling yuppies who tried to stop them. ...read more.


He knelt down by little Benny, the crippled banana, who would never see the bright lights of West Chiltington as the farmer had so often promised. Mr B.F. let loose all of his tears that he had held back for so long as he cradled the tiny body in his arms and was surrounded by death. He saw the empty barrels of chemicals from evil industries inc. and howled like a baby, he had given so many other bananas new life, but had failed to protect his own from the evil corporations he had fought for so long, he went to the highest cliff in Billingshurst and took his own life. ...read more.

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