I thought graveyards was a thing of the past for me on several occasion I had to visit them but not for too much longer of both my granddads deaths.
I was alone in the cemetery not a sole to be seen, this helped me to gather my thoughts towards the living and the dead. It made me think that this was a good comparison between the numbers living in the world and the number of people that have died in this small town.
Finally I arrived at my first granddads grave aisle, thinking of all the respect me and him had for each other and the loving surrounds when he was alive, those times have changed now all it will be is a dark Christmas. Its just then I realized how we respect people more when they are dead than when we are alive strange but true. At the point where I reached the aisle and the point where I am actually walking down the aisle being dreadfully careful not to walk on anyone’s graves is where confusion set into my mind. Why was I doing this? My thoughts were should I let these people just rest in peace instead of me walking across their graves? I was taught from a relatively young age not to walk over graves, only now when really thinking about it did I wonder why I was doing so. There was nobody around to judge me and my grandfather was not going to say a lot about it but I soon came to a conclusion that it was just done therefore I would do the same.
I stepped forward standing directly in the middle of the aisle starring at the solemn grave on my ancestor. It read:
`Beloved husband
Father and grandfather
Called to rest on
16th September 1984
Aged 61 years
Peace perfect peace`
As I read through this small note of his life I thought to myself how much I would have loved to meet him, the stories I have heard but unfortunately born 2 years to late.
As I wandered back and forth I thought about how graves represent life. A new grave is well presented, polished and colourful. An old grave is dull, dark and left for dead and sometimes even broken. This brought me to the only reason we have gravestones is so the living do not forget the dead nit thoughtfully the dead are always in your mind and never forgotten.
I then strolled over to the section of the graveyard for children so young and yet much to learn these children died at their young age. Why how? I felt slightly more bereaved as I came across a girl called Christine Phillips her gravestone read
`She loved simple joys
She loved simple pleasures
Our hearts remember
And always treasure`
Simple joys of such a simple joyful girl. I walked past many graves like these many caught my eye and many made me think of how many died naturally, natural causes, man made causes and yet at such a young age and many just passed on. If only we could really live-forever then there would be no need for this to turn out to be “the dark side of Christmas “
This grave attached with a photograph grabbed my insides and turned them inside out a picture of Martin John Oshea, young boy with no hair this only men one thing which came across my mind at his very moment, some kind of cancer killed him.
The little voice from his grave was saying
A little voice is hushed
And
A little angel is born
All our love mummy, daddy and family
The words mummy and daddy brought a tear to my eye as these words are usually only heard by the voice of a young child.
Seeing graves like this made me think of how it must have been for the parents when he was taken into the arms of God. You cannot possibly think this unless it happens to you.
I looked toward this gigantic grave, which contained five bodies inside. Two young and three middles ages people. There are no guarantees to life and you only get what you put into it is it to late to change your past o or is it just fate that this happens?
It’s just so hard I could barely reach my granddads grave I could face up to the fact they were dead right now. I gained in distance toward but I just could face the fact of looking down onto their grave thinking they are not with us any more.
Is this a dream to me or actually reality from now on every Christmas will be “a dark side of Christmas” but eventually I will have the courage to walk straight into the graveyard and see my two beloved granddads because before long I will have my whole life squeezed onto once small piece of stone.
