The Ethics of Marriage

Higgins specifies all of the important reasons that divorce should not be permitted in society, the first and most critical being children. Children, especially at a younger age, need guidance from both parents. Maternal and paternal influence is critical for all children. Children also need to feel equal love towards and from both parents, equally. Divorce often causes harsh feelings, and a sense of being left behind by the parent who moves away from the household. This can be a dangerous thing for children to experience, because, in order to mature correctly, they must be nurtured and cared for to the highest extent. Children can also be seen as a burden to parents who wish to remarry, and start new lives. This could cause a decrease in procreation, because of the adult fear of separation. One might find it easier to marry and not reproduce, in order to selfishly remain confident that they will not have to carry around a burden to future lovers (375).

The second reason Higgins points out as being one of Aquinas' thoughts on the negativity of divorce is that it "militates against the good morals of husband and wife" (375). With the possibility of divorce, two people cannot be completely unified. The idea that there can be an end to the marriage leaves a loophole for the whole idea of the sacrament that unites heart and mind. As mentioned before, selfishness can result from the possibility of marriage. A couple could forget the importance of an even give and take relationship in a marriage, if they know that when they do not get their way they can break free. Higgins suggests that desperate people would even be lead to commit serious crimes in order to escape a marriage, which in return would increase the crime rate, making the society an unsafe environment.

Furthering his thoughts on the good and welfare of the society, Higgins states that family is the fundamental unit of the state (376). The well being of the family results in the well being of the state. Divorce obviously creates tension and conflict among families, and this cannot be good for the overall wellbeing of the community. In order to follow the Thomistic accounts of Ethics, Higgins points out that divorce must be granted for all reasons or it cannot be granted for any reasons. "Hence the common good reasonably demands that individuals bear the trials incidental to an indissoluble tie rather than let loose upon society the vast evils entailed in divorce" (376).

Being raised in a Catholic church, I personally feel that divorce is immoral. I strongly agree with the idea that marriage can not fulfill its' purpose with the possibility of an end before death. The thought that two people can start a life together, and procreate, when they have the chance to end it appalls me. I believe that marriage would be more thoroughly thought out if divorce were not an option. Although I strongly disagree with divorce, I do believe that people who are part of any kind of abusive relationship should be allowed the opportunity to separate.

Not only do I have a strong basis of morals that push me to believe that divorce is wrong, but also I have seen what it can do to families. Especially in houses with small children, the broken family tends to cause more problems than it does cures. No longer do the children have a stable home life setting; they have two. Stable may not be the right word to describe these households. Often times, the children have to travel back and forth to different houses, sometimes in different communities, sometimes in different cities, and on occasion in different states. When a child is forced to move back and forth, his or her sense of belonging is damaged. This can impair a child's social life as well, since he or she cannot commit to certain activities while constantly being moved around. And as St. Thomas Aquinas pointed out, children who have divorced parents must learn to love the parents equally, when children in traditional households generally do have equal love for their parents.

What many people do not realize is that the effect of divorce does not stop with the immediate family. When a person is brought in to a family by marriage, the attachment is extended to everyone in relation. Respectively, when the tie of marriage is broken, this attachment cannot be pursued. As much as one wants his or family to accept the partner he or she has chosen to spend a lifetime with, the painful separation of divorce is experienced all throughout the family in the end.

A true marriage takes the ups and downs, the good and the bad. A true marriage works through any problems and rejoices over any happiness, but it always lasts.