Having nothing more than the well decorated Leery’s living room I went to sleep. It was late and we had been commemorating Christmas all night. I still could smell the food, taste the wine, and hear the laughter that had filled that wonderful night. Seeing how I could have a happy and lovingly life made me want to live forever.
My life was lonely in Los Angeles, where I was renting boats. My daily routine was wake up, go to the office, spend the morning there and head my restaurant after lunch. I had everything, a good business, I could buy almost everything I wanted, but I had nobody to share it with and I lived at a nice apartment, nice and lonely. I would never think I would get that far, really.
I haven’t been able to get much sleep. I kept think about life and everything. Just getting depressed like almost everyone get when Christmas party is over. Suddenly, I heard footsteps. It started me but quickly I spotted the brunette descending the stairs slowly, giving me an awkward smile. Oh, Josephine!
Joey had been my high school sweetheart. We had a tormentors beginning, a passionate relationship and sad end. While I was with her, I feared losing her constantly, it was my worst nightmare. When it happened it was like someone had ripped my heart out. I was so used to her. Having her around, kissing, touching, talking to her, calling to check if she was ok or just to hear her voice. It hurt really badly when I let her go.
For years I thought I was still in love with her, my eyes would shine when I looked at her. With the time the shine was fading and I guess I stopped loving her. Then I started considering her a friend, a very good one. Sure I would never forget her. The time we spent together was the best season of my life that I could remember, nevertheless, like True Love sank, my true love did the same.
I remember always admiring Joey by her beauty. She could be extremely pretty and intelligent at the same time, qualities most women can’t have at the same time. I don’t know if it was love that made me see so much beauty because that day Joey seemed pretty normal to me. Beautiful, yes, but not like she used to be.
She was pale and thin, more than the usual. Her shining hazel eyes were dead and had dark bags under it. It must have been the stress. Joey was a successful woman, like I always thought she would be. She owned an Art Gallery and was amazingly successful for such a young woman.
“Did I wake you up?” She whispered.
“No, Potter. I was relieving my miserable live.” She smiled sincerely. I don’t know if it was because of my attempt to joke with my life or because of the nickname.
“The modern life makes you suffer from insomnia?” she asked, approaching me. I was half laid half sat on the couch with a blanket covering me until my waist; she was in front of me standing on a robe.
“Yeah, since I got out of here I have problems to sleep.” I answered truthfully. She was strangely smiling proudly at me, I wondered why.
“Well, you know I have this problem since I was born, so I’m just used to it. Of course, being alone doesn’t help. Since I moved away from home I’ve been getting less and less sleep.” She explained making me remember the good times of my life in high school. When I would spend peaceful nights with Joey, although even that way she wouldn’t get any sleep, it didn’t bothered me anyway. I remember I would wake up with her unquiet in my arms or she would wake me up complaining she couldn’t sleep and we would talk or I would read her a story or we would make love again and then she would be tired enough to sleep soundly. I smiled at the memory. As if she could read my mind she smiled too, the same smile.
“Yeah, good old times, Pace.” She said with a sigh sitting on the chair across from me.
I felt she wanted to talk. Don’t get me wrong, I loved talking to her, but I was getting sleepy and I felt a tingle of annoyance when she sat, showing she wanted my company.
“This couch isn’t the problem for your sleeplessness?”
“No, ever. Don’t you remember I used sleep on one pretty less comfortable than that for a year?” I asked hating me for bringing up that subject again.
“Yeah, I do remember.” She said with an impish grin. It’d been so long I hadn’t seen Joey with that grin. She looked so dark and sad this past years.
We went on talking like we used to do. I felt like I was eighteen again having a good time with my girlfriend. That feeling made me want to reach out to her, touch her again. It was magical, the warmth I was feeling, the contentment of being, just being, there with her. It felt so good that my heart, sometimes that night, would ache. Ache to want her and not be able to have her.
I didn’t saw the time passing. We went on talking about our lives and what we missed.
Even in the darkness, Joey, who hours ago was just beautiful, now, was the most incredible sight I’ve ever seen. Her faded eyes gave place to two shining balls that mirrored the happiness she was feeling; her face now was bright and content, her movements cheerful and delicate. I was happy just to see how fun she could get just talking to me.
I didn’t want to that time to pass. Unfortunately, the day would come and our magical conversation would have to end. So it did, the daylight came and stole Joey from me.
“God! The sun is rising, Pace!” She said chuckling and pointing to the window like an innocent child.
“Wow, I haven’t seen the time pass.” I said not able to tear my eyes away from her, not even to see the bright sunlight.
She smiled awkwardly to me and got up reluctantly.
“Well, I didn’t let you sleep, I’m sorry.” She was apologizing for nothing. In fact, she gave me a gift. In years I haven’t had a good time like that.
“It was worthy it.” I answered smiling. She smiled thankfully back and I wanted badly to jump from that couch and kiss her.
“I think I’m going back to bed and try to sleep a little.” She said running her hands through her hair.
“Have good dreams.” I wished, knowing I shouldn’t do anything to make her stay, although I wanted so much.
“You too.” And that was the last words I heard from the real Joey I knew, the one that just showed to me, now I know.
The next morning – I mean, late that morning – the faded and sad Joey was back. It was like we hadn’t had that wonderful night, like it was a dream. I had to leave that afternoon because of work and couldn’t say goodbye to her. Now, I regret it.
My life went on as always and about six months later I got a call telling me Joey had died from breast cancer.
I wonder if she knew by that time and wanted to have her last good time. I make me believe it so I feel good to had given her something good to remember when she was dying. It makes the aches in my heart subside a little every time I think about her.
I’ve never got back to spend Christmas at the Leery’s. I haven’t spent Christmas anymore.
Thanks for reading it and enjoyed it aswell!!
Phil :)