Waitress – Could be male or female, almost any age. Asks a pivotal question without knowing it.
The Scene Opens With: Casey and Molly are sitting at a table in a restaurant. Laughing and sharing chips and salsa. Denise joins them, obviously running late.
Casey:
Hey there! We got you a diet coke.
Denise:
Thanks!
Molly:
What took you so long?
Denise:
Oh, small crisis at work. I got it taken care of, but, you know…
Casey:
Oh yeah, I know how that goes.
Molly:
Well, I don’t know about work, but I know all about crisis! We named ours Jack.
(the girls all crack up)
Casey:
Okay ladies, diet cokes in the air…to a night away from my impossible boss.
Denise:
To a night of chips and salsa and chocolate !
Molly:
To a night away from changing diapers!
All three:
Girls Night Out!
Casey:
Okay…so spill it. How was the week? Let’s hear it.
Molly:
I’ll go first. The preschool has asked us to find a different place to take Jack.
Casey:
What is that, the 3rd one this year?
Molly:
4th.
Denise:
What happened this time?
Casey:
I thought you guys got him to stop biting?
Molly:
Oh, we did...
Casey:
Okay, so if it wasn’t the biting…
Molly:
I don’t want to gross you out…
Denise:
Wait, let me put my drink down…
Molly:
Well, you know Jack is in charge of Raisin, the class pet rabbit, right? And last week with Parent Appreciation Night, his class made all the floats for the parade, baked the chocolate chip cookies and even dressed Raisin up…
Denise and Molly together:
In the little lederhosen…
Denise:
Yeah, those cookies were really good by the way…
Molly:
Really? Well, apparently when Jack was supposed to be helping bake the cookies, he also thought it would be helpful to clean out Raisin’s cage.
Casey:
Good for him, I don’t get what’s so gross about…
Molly:
Neither did the teacher until after class when she found the full bag of chocolate chips and a very clean bunny cage…
(both Casey and Denise take a drink and rinse out their mouths…while they do this, Molly continues)
Molly:
Tell you what guys. There are days I would kill for the lives you lead. Leaving for work every morning…heading out there into the world. Having a job…
Denise:
Hey, speaking of jobs…I have an announcement.
Casey:
(gasp) You finally did it!
Molly:
Did what?
Casey:
She quit!
Denise:
Yeah, I quit.
Casey:
It’s about time!!
Molly:
I can’t believe you finally did it! I thought people who worked for churches just talked about quitting all the time, I don’t know anyone’s who’s actually done it!
Denise:
Well now you do.
Casey:
Good for you! You were miserable there! Did you look through those job applications I sent you?
Denise:
Not yet, the whole thing just kind of blew up yesterday…I haven’t really had time…
Casey:
Listen, I think if you could find a way to spin your job description a little bit…Worship arts director just doesn’t sound very professional.
Molly:
How about Director of fine arts?
Casey:
Not bad. It’s a lot less churchy.
Molly:
Yeah, if she uses the word worship, they won’t even look at the rest of her application.
Denise:
I’m not ashamed of what I did guys.
Casey:
Oh, no you wouldn’t be, but out there in the real world…
Molly:
I remember what the real world was like, vaguely…
Casey:
They need to think you were doing something important.
Denise:
I was doing something important.
Molly:
Then why’d you quit?
Denise:
Because I was the only one who seemed to think it was important!
Casey:
And you hated it.
Denise:
I didn’t hate it…
Molly:
Yes you did. You’ve been telling us for months how much you hate the long hours, how hard it is on your family…
Casey:
How you spend all your time in meetings and putting out fires…
Molly:
…people are always complaining about the music you pick, the drums are too loud…
Casey:
…the guitar player has weird hair and they think you should do something about it…
Denise:
Okay, okay…you’re right…it was getting pretty awful there at the end.
Casey:
Pretty awful! Ha! That job was a nightmare. I don’t know why you stayed as long as you did!
Denise:
I don’t know, I used to really love it…
Molly:
You used to…but now you don’t, so move on.
Casey:
Yep, couldn’t have said it better myself. You had to quit. It’s a church, so it’s not like they were ever going to fire you!
Molly:
Okay girls, a toast…
Casey:
To quitters…
Molly:
…and life back in the real world, where you can make a difference!
(all three raise their glasses just as the waitress enters)
Waitress:
Hi ladies, welcome to…hey, I know you!
Denise:
(obviously uncomfortable) You do?
Waitress:
Yeah! I go to your church!
Denise:
Oh…sorry, I didn’t recognize you…
Waitress:
That’s okay, my husband and I just started going there a few months ago.
Denise:
Okay, well it’s nice to meet you…I think we’re ready to order now…
Waitress:
A good friend of ours has been going there for a couple of years, she said we should come try it out.
Denise:
That’s great…I’ll have the…
Waitress:
I see you up there singing all the time, your like the choir director or something, right?
Denise:
Yeah, something like that…
Waitress:
Well, I just want to tell you that you do a great job! My kid is 15 yrs old and it took us a long time to find a church where we could all worship together as a family and he wouldn’t complain about the music. Well at least not all of it.
Denise:
Oh,
Waitress:
So anyway…sorry, it looks you guys are out celebrating something, so I’ll let you get back to it…okay, are you ready to order…
(Lights out while Casey and Molly begin to order)