Bird flu course work

Authors Avatar

Bird flu course work                                                               

                        

The graph shows the number of cases and deaths in 15 countries from 2003 to 2008. You can see that the 2 countries who had the most cases and deaths are Vietnam and Indonesia. Vietnam had the most cases and deaths in 2003, then in 2004 Thailand got the bird flu, so it started to spread. In 2004 the number of deaths and cases Vietnam had 29 cases and 20 deaths. Thailand had the half the number of death and cases. In 2005 the bird flu spread to Indonesia.  All these countries are close to each other. Thailand is neighbours with Cambodia but its has not been effected by bird flu as much as Vietnam and Indonesia. Birds like to fly to warm places like Indonesia, because it has a different climate.  Therefore they might spread bird flu.

E.g.  Vietnam had cases of bird flu and it spread to another country like Indonesia. The number of cases and deaths in Vietnam will go down and the number of cases and deaths in Indonesia will increase. You can see in my graph that Vietnam had 80 cases and deaths in 2005 and the same year Indonesia had 33 deaths and cases, the year after Vietnam have decreased by 100% but Indonesia have gone up a lot 67%. Vietnam and Indonesia are close to each other so the disease could easily spread. 

There is a pattern, some countries increase while the others decrease. As before if one country gets infected, the other may also develop cases. This may occur because as cases develop they then may find a control and then the cases may decrease. This happend to Vietnam they had the second greatest deaths and cases and one year later the number of deaths had fallen to zero.  said that the cure for bird flu is a blood-cleaning machine. If you cleaned your body in 2006 it showed in Vietnam there was a decrease.

I got my graph data from:

and I found the same data in

www.who.int/csr/disease/avian_influenza/country/cases_table_2009_05_06/en/index.html

 You can obviously repeat the data collection but it still would be the same but you can still continue to find out how many people have died from bird flu by calling all the main hospitals in the world or just look at the internet. So it is possible to repeat the data collection, as it is reliable.

Join now!

I got the graph from the same website as the exam board. Not only that, but compared my data to theirs and I found out that the data was not the same, so not accurate. For example, in my data Egypt had 18 cases and 10 deaths but in the exam boards data it says that only 14 cases and 6 deaths in 14th of September 2006.  My data was recorded through the whole year, but why does my graph say that there wasn’t  any deaths or cases in Cambodia (2004) however in the exams boards data there were actually 6 ...

This is a preview of the whole essay

Here's what a star student thought of this essay

Avatar

Different types of text used throughout, should be made uniform and with the same formatting of paragraphs. Also, not references links in a footnote or end section correctly, just put links in the main text which make the writing look messy and untidy. Grammar sometimes unclear in the meaning of the sentence but otherwise okay, spelling and punctuation okay.

Level of analysis is okay,and backs up text and conclusions with data from tables and references from two different sources. However, these are not analysed very well and the scientific reasoning behind why bird flu spreads to neighbouring countries and then the cases from the home country goes down should be explored and scientific links more clearly examined. Also, one of the sources the candidate uses is the exam boards data, but does not explain where the data came from, was it as past question, or was it actually linked with this piece of coursework, it is not clear. The words used for this level of writing when you can see the candidate is one the one doing the analysis is also quite basic. Evidence of copying and pasting sources from the internet without explaining the reasoning behind them.

This coursework is overall mediocre for GCSE level. There is not a very clear conclusion and introduction that sets out what the writer was actually trying to find out during this essay, the main body of the text is okay for this level, but I would like to see much more scientific analysis and less reliance on copying and pasting internet sources and only basic analysis.