- Join over 1.2 million students every month
- Accelerate your learning by 29%
- Unlimited access from just £6.99 per month
- 1 1
- 2 2
- 3 3
- 4 4
- 5 5
- 6 6
- 7 7
- 8 8
- 9 9
- 10 10
- 11 11
- 12 12
- 13 13
- 14 14
- 15 15
- 16 16
- 17 17
- 18 18
- 19 19
- 20 20
- 21 21
- 22 22
- 23 23
- 24 24
- 25 25
- 26 26
- 27 27
- 28 28
- 29 29
- 30 30
- 31 31
- 32 32
- 33 33
- 34 34
- 35 35
- 36 36
- 37 37
- 38 38
- 39 39
- 40 40
- 41 41
- 42 42
- 43 43
- 44 44
- 45 45
- 46 46
- 47 47
- 48 48
- 49 49
- 50 50
- 51 51
- 52 52
- 53 53
- 54 54
- 55 55
- 56 56
- 57 57
- 58 58
- 59 59
- 60 60
- 61 61
- 62 62
- 63 63
- 64 64
- 65 65
- 66 66
- 67 67
- 68 68
- 69 69
- 70 70
- 71 71
- 72 72
- 73 73
- 74 74
- 75 75
- 76 76
- 77 77
- 78 78
- 79 79
- 80 80
- 81 81
- 82 82
- 83 83
- 84 84
- 85 85
- 86 86
- 87 87
- 88 88
- 89 89
- 90 90
- 91 91
- 92 92
- 93 93
- 94 94
- 95 95
- 96 96
- 97 97
- 98 98
- 99 99
- 100 100
- 101 101
- 102 102
- 103 103
- 104 104
- 105 105
- 106 106
- 107 107
- 108 108
- 109 109
- 110 110
- 111 111
Close Your Eyes
Free essay example:
Close your eyes
As I finished packing my suitcase I felt a tear fall onto my hand. This was the last time I'd be here. The last time I'd see this house, this room. I didn't want to leave but I had to. I'd only found out last week. Mum came home and told me over dinner that we had to move to London because she'd got a job transfer. At first I refused to leave all this behind me but after a few days it seemed like I had no choice.
I'd told all my friends and they were so sad to see me go. Especially Chloe. Me and her had been best friends since we were little. We never spent a moment apart, we basically lived at each others. What's mine was hers and what hers was mine. It had always been like that. Now we were being ripped apart. It felt like I was losing a sister. I told her that I'd call her everyday and that we could talk on MSN until we fell asleep at the computer. We laughed at the idea of me living in London, after all, I hated the place, but inside we were both crying.
I sat on the floor and looked around my room. The walls were bare and the wallpaper had been torn where id pulled my posters down. My bed, wardrobe, mirror, shelves, TV and every single other thing in my room was sitting inside the removal van being taken to our new home. The only thing in the room was me, and my suitcase.
"Louise!" I heard mum calling me from the stairs "Darling we have to leave. Come on now"
I stood up and pulled open my door. I dragged my suitcase out, took one last look at the room and shut the door. The room I'd always felt safest in was no longer mine. Soon it would belong to someone else and they would be lying in their bed listening to the wind blowing the tree's branches up against my window. I walked out the front door and avoiding eye contact, walked past mum, not even acknowledging her existence. I still hadn't forgiven her and I never will. She didn't have to accept this job. She could have stayed where she was, she was perfectly happy. It's not like she's even getting paid extra. It's exactly the same job just in a different part of England.
I threw my suitcase into the boot of the car, making sure it made the loudest bang possible just so mum would know how upset and annoyed I was. Once I was in the car I slammed the door shut unravelled my headphones, turned on my iPod and started to play McFly. There my favourite band and wherever I go, their music travels with me. As I listened to the intro of "I'll be ok" I laid my head back, closed my eyes and listened to the lyrics. The car started and we were off. To our new home. I felt like shit and as "Ill be ok" drew to a finish I thought to myself but will I be ok Danny? Will I be ok?
Doesn't it look wonderful?"
I suddenly heard mum say from the front and opening my eyes I realised we had stopped in front of a small house with an overgrown garden and no driveway.
"Oh yeah, spectacular!" I replied sarcastically.
I avoided eye contact with her as she gave me that 'watch your attitude' look and instead shuffled my iPod again. Without bothering to turn it off I got out of the car and took in my new surroundings. They were awful. There were weeds growing everywhere and each house was grotty and covered in dirt. I'd been here five minutes and already I hated it.
After putting boxes and furniture into each room until they were full to burst it was late and me and mum decided to leave unpacking properly until the morning. I agreed as I was not in the mood for listening to the history of each and every object mum pulled out of the seem to be endless boxes.
I walked upstairs to my new bedroom. It was the biggest out of the three in the house. Mum thought it would make me happy if I got the largest because she knows I like my space and being a single mum and all she doesn't need much herself. My bed was already in place with my duvet and pillows neatly arranged. That would soon change. I got into my pyjamas and jumped onto my bed. Switched on the laptop and waited for it to load.
Username – Mrs Jones
Password – Bolton_Queen
Guitarist and Vocalist of McFly, Danny Jones was my god. Those big blue eyes and long dark curls kept me happy day and night. When it had finally loaded I signed into msn. I saw that Chloe was online but I was tired and didn't feel like one of our 'small talks' which turned into gossip for 5 hours or more. I decided to just send her a quick email.
I'm here. It's awful and I hate it. I want to come home.
How your McFly shrine coming along?
Miss you loads
Her wall is absolutely covered in pictures of McFly and we call it her shrine. It's quite good actually. Maybe I should start one. It can cover the horrible shabby walls that my room is surrounded by now.
I turned of my laptop and snuggled down into my warm duvet. I fell asleep imagining what my wall will look like once its Danny covered. Then the Danny dreams occurred. There's not one moment where that boy isn't in my head.
I woke the next morning to the sound of smashing glass coming from downstairs. Realising that mum had obviously started unpacking and worrying she may destroy something of mine I decided to join her. I pulled on my jeans and hoodie and wandered downstairs. Mum was cleaning up the glass with a dustpan and brush she had managed to find. Leaning against the doorframe I glanced around the room. Boxes were stacked everywhere. You could hardly move without knocking something over. This was going to take a while. Mum straightened up and turned towards looking slightly shocked as she did so.
"Christ Lou, you scared me!" she said whilst searching for somewhere to put the broken shards of glass.
I apologized and walked over to the corner where 4 boxes marked with LOUISE were hidden. I picked one up and being careful not to knock any of the other boxes over I dragged it upstairs. I did this repeatedly until finally they were squashed together in my room. Most of these boxes were filled with Clothes and shoes whilst the others were full with CD's, DVD's and other less important possessions.
After about 10 minutes of sorting clothes into specific piles I got a bit bored and so unpacked my stereo and plugged my iPod into it. I put the whole library on shuffle and didn't realise how loud it was until Busted's 'air hostess' started blaring out of the speaker. I hate Busted but this song makes me laugh. See, Chloe used to be obsessed with them and she had once confessed to me that when she first heard the song instead of hearing "throwing peanuts down the aisle" in the second chorus, she heard "throwing penis down the aisle". I suspect that a certain boy named Jamie was on her mind at that moment in time but whatever it was it made me laugh and so now every time I hear this song it makes me laugh.
Today however I wasn't in the mood for that song or those voices. I wanted to hear the voice of gorgeous Danny Jones. I turned on Star Girl and already I was more excited about unpacking all my stuff. I jumped around singing along and sorting putting all the clothes into the right piles. Jeans, t-shirts, knickers, dresses, thongs, skirts, oh and shoes. It was all fun in the world of Louise. If fun is the right word.
The next week was filled with unpacking, shopping for food and more unpacking. I didn't realise how much stuff we actually had. Then Monday came and mum was off to her new job. I was going to be on my own everyday for the next 5 weeks. Mum was working everyday 9 till 5 and the school I was starting had broken up for the summer holidays. Bring on the boredom.
Ok so the 5 weeks actually went quite quickly. I was as bored as hell though! Spending everyday on msn and watching TV is not exactly the most amusing thing I've ever done. I met up with Chloe twice but both times she was acting quite off with me. I asked her why and she snapped at me and said she was fine. I didn't want to lose her so I didn't press the matter. Anyway, the days flew by and soon enough it was my first day at my new school, and yes…I was scared shitless.
Well, here I go. We had drawn up to the front gates. So many strangers and faces I'd never seen before were bustling there way into the school. I felt sick. I wanted to turn to mum and tell her to let me take another day off but I knew I had to do this. So I forced myself out of the car and through the gates.
The first time I saw her was as I was heading to Maths. Books clutched to her chest she had chestnut brown hair tied back in a tight ponytail and big brown eyes. She didn't look confident at all. More like a rabbit caught in the headlights. Of course she wasn't confident. She was new, she didn't know her way around and she didn't know anyone that she could ask. I could see her glancing around at everyone. She could see them pointing at her, see them whispering about her. It's awful. I can relate to that. I get it almost everyday but not for the same reasons as her. My reasons for being whispered about and pointed at were completely different to hers and anyone else's. Its not bullying, its not because I'm new and it's not because I've got no friends. I've got plenty. Its because of my brother. I know that sounds weird. I mean, I bet you can think of loads of people with brothers, but, how many of those people have brothers who are, well, famous?
I hated this. It was my first day at my new school and already people were talking about me. Yes I'm new, big deal, get over it already. It's like they'd never seen a girl before which was kind of hard to believe seeing as they all were them. Yep, that's right, an all girls school. God this sucks. I want boys back. I want to go through those phases where you see a boy in the corridor and your heart skips a beat and you get butterflies and then for the next few weeks you can't take your eyes off of him. Then it changes and your saying what an arrogant, self obsessed bastard he is. Good times. I smiled to myself, that smile soon faded. This was hell! I was never going to go through that phases again. Not unless I turned into some obsessive lesbian in the next few months which was never going to happen. Well, not as long as Danny Jones was in the world.
I was happily daydreaming about mine and Danny's wedding when all of a sudden some alarm went off causing me to literally jump from the spot I was standing. "Great" I thought to myself "first lesson" and then it suddenly struck me, what was first lesson? Shit, I'd been so busy daydreaming about Danny I'd forgotten to pick my timetable up.
Everyone had gone now and the corridors were empty. Where the fuck was I supposed to go? I had no idea where reception was. I turned round and went flying into some stranger. They grabbed my arm to stop me falling but it wasn't enough for me to keep my grip. My books went flying and I stumbled, nearly falling over but managing to balance myself at the last minute. Not wanting to look into the eyes of the person I had most probably just injured I crouched down and started gathering my things.
"I'm so sorry" I said, still not looking up.
"It's ok, it was my fault" said a male voice and as I thought about it the accent sounded vaguely familiar.
"No, I should have been looking where I was going, I'm sorry"
I saw him crouch down and help me to gather my things but I still kept blabbering on about how it was my fault until he eventually put his hand on mine and made me stop what I was doing. I looked up and we made eye contact.
"Really, it was my fault" he assured me.
I wasn't really listening. I was too shocked at what I saw. Crouching in front of me with his hand one mine and staring at me was none other than Danny Jones.
How the hell am I supposed to find Carrie in this place? Its huge. I need to talk to her and tell her that Tom isn't able to pick her up today because the bands rehearsing for the new tour. I don't know why he didn't just come and tell her himself. I mean, she is his sister. Then again, she's like a sister to me so I don't mind. I'm used to it, Tom always sends me to do his dirty work.
I have no idea what lesson she's in and there's no way I'm going round every classroom asking. I suppose I could just go ask at reception. If there is one, and if I can find it. Hmm this could take a while.
I'll go ask that girl over there where to go. I walked up to her and was just about to speak when she turned round and bumped into me. Her books went flying and I grabbed her arm to stop her falling. She didn't look at me, just started picking up her stuff. I bent down to help her, apologizing at the same time. Whether she heard me was another question. She was overpowering my apologies with her own. She actually sounded quite scared and worried, like I was going to shout at her for being so clumsy. I put my hand upon hers and she stopped gathering her things so that she could look at me.
I assured her that it was my fault entirely and that she needn't worry. She just stared at me not saying a word. I have that effect on most girls. I smiled and laughed which seem to bring her back to reality because she immediately stood up and shook her head.
"Thanks" she smiled at me and hurried off.
"WAIT!" I shouted after her and she slowed her pace.
Danny Jones is shouting for me. What do I do? What do I do?
Deciding it would be rude to ignore him I turned round and gave him a puzzled look.
"Erm, do you happen to know where reception is?" he asked me flicking one of his dark curls out of his face. God he was gorgeous.
"Your so hot!"
Please tell me that was in my head. He looks confused but I think I see a smile forming. Say something quick to make him forget what you just said.
"I'm new." And he would want to know that why? "So, no I don't know where reception is, sorry." Meh. That will do.
"Shouldn't you be in class then?"
"Yer but I don't know where I'm supposed to be, so I need to find reception as well"
"Ok well, do you fancy wandering round until we find it?"
Yes I do Danny and I also fancy you. This I thankfully did say in my head. Oh my god he was walking towards me. This was so surreal. One minute I was listening to him in the car the next I'm actually in a conversation with him. No way was this real. In a minute I'll be woken up by mum and I'll find out that this was all a dream and that I hadn't been to school yet. I never was woken. I was still standing in front of Danny and he was waiting for an answer.
"Yer sure" I said. Walk as slowly as possibly without making it obvious. I thought to myself.
She seemed a little nervous and on edge. Maybe it was because she was new or maybe it was because she had just bumped into me. Whatever it was, it was awkward.
"So where have you moved from?" I asked trying to make conversation
"Cambridge" she said quietly
"Awesome. We played there once."
"Yer I came. It was good"
She knows who i am then and she likes us. Well, I could tell she knew who I was from her first reaction. I just hope she's not an obsessed fan who's gonna stalk me now. She seems nice enough not to do that. I glance over at her and see that she's staring at me as well. She looked away and that would be the normal reaction for me but something was keeping me staring at her.
About 5 minutes later she stopped at looking around I realised that this was probably reception. It was a massive desk and a woman with grey hair and small glasses was sitting behind it. I went first.
"Hey, can I find out where Carrie Fletcher is please?"
The woman started tapping away furiously at the keyboard and I turned around to that girl.
"So er what's your name?" I asked seeing as id just spent 15 minutes walking with her and still hadn't found it out.
"Louise" she said smiling.
"Miss Fletcher is in room 108" the woman from behind the desk directed at me. I spun round. God this school was posh. 'Miss Fletcher'? That's a new one.
"Thanks…." I replied, glancing downwards to look for a name badge. She didn't have one. I looked up to see her eyes narrowing and looking at me. Oh shit she must have thought I was staring at her chest. Er no thanks.
I turned back and saw Louise giggling out of the corner of my eye. As I walked past her she whispered "I think she likes you".
A piece of her hair had come out of the pony tail she had in and she must have sensed me looking at it because she reached her hand up to where I was looking. She tugged at the hair tie that was holding it up and let it down, she shook her hair and the soft brown waves fell just below her shoulder. She tucked one side behind her ear leaving the other side to fall where it pleased. I was mesmerised by her prettiness. It's not everyday I meet someone as beautiful as her. 'Pull yourself together mate, she's 16' I thought to myself.
"Well, I'd better go find my lil friend then. Let her know what's going on" I told her "It was nice to meet you" I paused "Louise"
She smiled "It was nice to meet you too Danny"
Hearing her say my name was slightly strange, it felt different to when other people said it. I backed into the door we had walked through causing it to push open slightly and winked at her. She raised her hand in a little wave and turned back to reception. God she was beautiful.
My stomach flipped. I was having one of those moments. You know where your heart skips a beat and you get butterflies.
Danny Jones just winked at me! Danny Jones just spoke to me!
This has got to be the best day of my life. I waved at him as he passed through the door. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. This was amazing.
I turned back to reception. "Hey, I'm new, do you have my timetable please?"
Ok so you'd think after meeting Danny Jones my day would be spectacular. Unfortunately it was the complete opposite. Each lesson I'd had so far was exactly the same, silent and then as soon as I walked in each head in the classroom would turn towards me. I hated being new. I'd wandered round the whole day on my own. No-one even approached me to ask my name.
I was in English when the bell for lunch went. I wasn't looking forward to it. After all who wants to sit in one big hall on their own while everyone around them has a good old laugh with their mates?
So of I went, to the hall where I sat on my own and ate my lunch. I honestly felt like I was going to cry and as I looked around at everyone who each had there own group I felt the tears coming on. I covered my face with my hands and just sobbed. I realised I must have looked like a complete idiot but for I didn't care. I just wanted to get out of here. I was just about to get up and walk out when I felt an arm around my shoulder. I uncovered my face and looked up at who's arm it belonged to. It was a blonde haired girl. She smiled at me and then said "Come with me, I know what it feels like to have everyone staring" I looked around and sure enough every single pair of eyes in the hall were fixed on me. I grabbed my bag and headed towards the door with this girl.
I couldn't just leave her. She was sitting on her own, with no-one around her and now she was crying. It must be awful. To be new I mean. Ok I'm going over.
I headed in her direction and once I'd reached her table I placed an arm around her shoulder. She looked up at me. Her eyes were puffy from where she'd been crying but she didn't seem to care. She just looked like she wanted to run away.
"Come with me, I know what it feels like to have everyone staring" I said to her quietly.
She glanced around at everyone and then got up. We walked out of the hall and I led her down the main corridor to the toilets. I opened the door and thankfully no-one was in there.
Hot tears were stinging my face as we made our way into the toilets. I'm glad there was no-one in there as I'd already embarrassed myself in front of half the school. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw how awful I looked.
"Jesus, I look like shit" I said, half laughing.
The girl who had been so kind to me laughed and asked me my name.
"I'm Louise, Louise Winter" I managed to say while splashing my face with cold water.
"I'm Carrie Fletcher" she replied whilst passing me a towel. Fletcher? I recognized that name, but before I could ask her about it she asked me "You're new aren't you?" and I nodded silently.
"Yer, just moved down here from Cambridge. I'm not really fitting in as you can probably tell." I searched my bag for my mascara and pulled it out.
"Nah, you'll be fine" she said "We don't get a lot of new people so when we do its kind of awkward but once people get used to you, you'll make loads of friends. You've already made one"
I looked at her and smiled. Hearing that I actually had a friend here was a relief to me. I finished applying my mascara and threw it back in my bag.
We left the toilets and walked down the main corridor. After about half an hour of non stop chat the bell went signalling last lesson. Carrie had invited me over to her house after school and I'd happily accepted seeing as I didn't want to go back to an empty house for about 4 hours.
After last lesson I made my way down to reception where I said I'd meet Carrie. I found it faster than I did with Danny. That might have been because I was walking a bit faster though. We walked out the front and down the street. Her house was quite far but we past the time by chatting about why I had moved and how I liked it so far. She was really nice and I was glad I'd met her cos otherwise I would have been walking home miserably, on my own.
We entered her house and dumped our bags. It was huge. Way bigger than ours. I followed Carrie through the hall and into the living room where four people crowded round one table were sitting. I didn't even notice who they were until one of them looked up and almost shouted at me
"Louise! What are you doing here?"
I hadn't been paying attention so when he shouted this it made me jump. I looked to see who it was and saw that it was Danny. What the hell was he doing here? It was then that I realised why the name Fletcher had rung a bell. Tom Fletcher. Guitarist and vocalist in McFly. How could I have forgotten that hours after I had met his band mate? I put my head down but I could feel each and every member of McFly's eyes on me. This was so not real.
How did Danny know her name? That's strange. Well, I guess I'd better introduce her to the others then.
"Er guys, this is Louise, she moved down here from Cambridge"
The guys all said hey to her and she smiled back
"Louise this is…" but she managed to finish the sentence for me
"Danny, Dougie, Harry and Tom" she said looking slightly shocked.
"Yer Tom's my brother. Louise do you wanna come get a drink?" I asked and started walking towards the kitchen. She didn't move so in the end I grabbed her hand and dragged her across the room. I pushed open the kitchen doors and as it shut I heard Louise let out a slight squeak.
"Soooo, you know who they are then?" I said whilst getting some juice out of the fridge and pouring it into two glasses.
"Yer, my friend at home is obsessed with them, her walls covered in pictures of them"
I laughed and she asked what was so funny.
"Its just weird" I replied "You know, thinking of people having posters of your brother plastered all over their walls. Kind of creepy actually"
She laughed and then I remembered that Danny seemed to know her, I wanted to know how so I asked her. She looked confused at first but then it clicked.
"O, we bumped into each other this morning, literally, he came to ask me where reception was and I turned round and walked into him. I didn't know where it was either so we went to find it together and then we got chatting"
"O right" I said, a little confused
"What?" she asked me noting my confusion
"Well, when you walked in he lit up so I thought you'd known each for a while is all"
"Really?" she didn't seem phased by it "That's weird"
"He's nice isn't he? I mean, he's like an extra brother to me"
"God, it must be awesome having them round your house all the time, I mean what's it like, having four totally hot boys round you 24/7?" she asked leaning forwards waiting for my answer.
"Ok, first of all I do not see my brother as 'totally hot' so if you're gonna refer to them as that say 3 and secondly I don't see them as totally hot, I see them as extra brothers" I said whilst trying to hide a smile.
"O come on!"
"Seriously! I just don't see them in that way!"
She didn't look convinced. I guess I could tell her.
"Well, I've always had a slight crush on Dougie but no-one knows! Especially not Tom so you tell anyone and I will seriously kill you!"
I don't think she heard the last part because she was too busy going "awww". I went over to hit her when Dougie walked in. We both looked at him and then burst into a fit of giggles. He gave us both a weird look and continued to the fridge.
"What you girls chatting about?" he asked whilst bending down to get something out of the fridge. Louise moved her head to the side and realising what she was looking at I nudged her.
"What?" she laughed "I was only trying to get a good view!"
I nudged her again. Dougie turned around and gave us another one of his weird looks.
"Good view of what?" I could tell he was getting suspicious.
"Your butt" she started and I coughed loudly over her
"What?" he asked
"Your button" I replied "Your shirt button, it's undone"
He glanced down and did it back up. He laughed and then walked back out humming Blink 182 'all the small things' as he went.
"Girl you should totally ask him out he has a perfect arse" Louise said to me
Embarrassed I hit her playfully on the arm. I could tell that me and her were meant to be friends and that this was going to be the start of a great friendship. Not only was she great to chat to but it finally meant I could talk to someone about having a brother who's famous. All my other friends just use me to get them good tickets and backstage passes but Louise was different. She didn't see them as famous. She just saw them as boys. This was great.
Meeting McFly wasn't as big as I thought it would be. I thought id completely hyperventilate and freak out but I didn't. They seemed like nice normal boys. Carrie was a great friend so far and I was glad that she liked me. I wasn't going to let anything get in the way of this friendship. Not even the fact that her brother is in McFly.
I'd been in London 3 months now and I loved it. Of course I was missing my friends back in Cambridge but I had new friends. Carrie for one, me and her had become just like sisters I trusted her with my life and she trusted me with hers. Other girls at the school had eventually started speaking to me and I got to know a lot of them and then there were the McFly boys. Well, they're awesome. Me and Carrie hang out with them at her house now and again and there such fun, laid back people. I'd occasionally catch Danny staring at me but I pretended I hadn't noticed and continued to be myself.
I was turning 17 this weekend but I hadn't planned anything. I couldn't have a sleepover, the house wasn't big enough and I couldn't be bothered to have a big party. In the end I just decided to go to bowling with a few of my new mates.
When Saturday came I headed over to Carrie's to get ready. Tom was driving us to the alley because my mum had work. I rung the doorbell and Danny answered.
"Hey, Carrie's upstairs" he said.
"Thanks" I smiled and him and walked towards the stairs.
"Er, Louise?" I heard him call, I turned round and he started walking towards me. My stomach flipped every time he called my name. I still had my crush on him and as I'd gotten to know him more it felt deeper than a crush.
"Yep?" I asked, curious of what he wanted.
"I was wondering if you could come over to mine tomorrow, I've written a song and I wanted your opinion on it"
"Er ok, yer sure I'll come check it out, where do you live?"
He gave me his address and walked into the living room where I could see the other boys sitting watching us. I waved and then wandered upstairs, where I found Carrie straightening her hair.
"What's that?" she asked pointing at the piece of paper which Danny had written his address.
"O, it's just Danny's address, he wants me to go over to his tomorrow and listen a new song he's written" I answered, pocketing the paper and walking over to the chair in the corner of her room.
"mmhmm im sure he wants you to listen to a new song." She said making herself sound as sarcastic as possible.
"And what's that supposed to mean?" confused and curious at the same time.
"O come ON Louise! Don't tell me you haven't noticed" she said turning to me and laughing.
"Noticed what?" although I had a feeling I knew what she was about to say.
"The staring, the constant talking to you and whenever you walk into the room he lights up"
"Really? I hadn't noticed" I said whilst trying to hide a smile. I was lying, of course I'd noticed. Does that mean that she noticed that I lit up every time he entered the room?
"And yes, I have noticed you acting the same around him"
"Ok Carrie, yes you're my best friend and I know that best friends are supposed to be able to read each other like books but that was just plain scary"
She laughed and turned back to the mirror. So if Danny hadn't wanted to me to listen to his song then why did he want me to go round his?
"Now, you want him right?" she watched as I nodded "Ok well then, lets make him jealous so that he moves a little faster"
I was intrigued. What tricks did Carrie have up her sleeve to get things with me and Danny going a little quicker?
Woohoo! She's coming round mine tomorrow. Guess I'd better plan my next move.
"What new song?" Tom asked me suspiciously as I entered the front room.
"He hasn't got one. It's just cos he fancy's her and wants to snatch her up before someone her own age does. You do realise she's only 16 right mate?" Harry replied turning to me.
"Yer, of course I do, but if its gonna work out, age won't matter" I replied. Harry lifted one eyebrow and stared at me.
I laughed and then sat down next to Dougie who of course had to crush my happiness.
"So er, dude, what are you gonna do when she turns up and there's no song?"
My smile disappeared. He was right. Craaaaap. Hadn't thought about that. I suppose I could just blame it on one of the guys. Say they stole it. Yes, I shall do that.
"I have an idea" I said "Tom mate, can you drop me home on the way to the alley?"
"Yer sure, I think I can hear them coming now"
And sure enough I could hear Louise's sweet voice and gorgeous laugh coming from the stairs.
We'd been up here about an hour getting ready and also talking, mostly about Danny and Dougie, when we realised it was time to leave. I grabbed my bag off of Carrie's bed and we both did the usual girl ritual. Checking our make-up and hair in the mirror and then applying more lip gloss and hairspray. I opened the door and walked out.
"Danny's going to love you in that" she said as we wandered down the stairs. I smiled to myself and whispered "I hope so" when we reached the bottom step.
"Toooooom!" Carrie called "We're ready, come on, we're gonna be late"
"Yer whatever I'm coming" he called back before appearing in the hall placing his 'wicked' hoodie over his head.
Danny followed and out of no-where said "Wow, Louise you look beautiful"
Well, what else was I to say? Beautiful was the only word that I could think of to describe her. She was wearing tight black jeans and a black strapless top with a silver locket hanging round her neck. The brown waves that normally fell just below her shoulder had been straightened and tied up in a messy bun with just one piece falling in front of her eye. Her tanned skin glowed in the light and for a moment I was hypnotised.
"Thanks" she gave me a smile and then glanced at the door as Dougie and Harry walked from the front room to where everyone else was. I could tell that they were thinking exactly the same as me.
"Wow girls, you look….different. You look gorgeous"
It was Dougie who said it this time and as he did, Louise wandered up to him and ran her hand down his arm.
"Thanks Doug, don't look to bad yourself" she said and gave him a wink
Could it be possibly that she liked Dougie more than me? Damn. Make your move Danny. She needs to know how you feel.
Looks like my plan was working. Louise was paying more attention to Dougie and Danny hated it. Danny was the only one stupid enough to not get what was going on. All the others were laughing at Danny's expression and even Louise was trying to hide a laugh.
I smiled when Dougie said that we looked gorgeous but it didn't have the impact it used to when he complimented me. Don't get me wrong, Dougie is seriously hot but I just don't like him in the way I used to.
"Ok, we going then?" Tom asked and we all walked towards the door. We all got into the car and Harry and Dougie waved us off. The boys were obviously planning to write some more songs tonight. New album perhaps? Well, whatever it is it'll be amazing.
Louise wasn't talking much. She was just staring out of the car window. I could see her reflection in the window though. She was smiling. I could tell that she really liked Danny and I was hoping that tomorrow he'd make a move.
I couldn't stop smiling the whole car journey. Danny did like me! It was obvious.
When we pulled up to the bowling alley, me and Carrie got out of the car. Tom was just pulling out when suddenly Danny flung the car door open.
"Louise!" he shouted after me and I turned towards him "erm…..happy birthday"
He past me a box and kissed me on the cheek. I looked up at him and then down at the box. I opened it and inside was the most beautiful bracelet I'd ever seen.
"Oh Danny thank you so much!" I said and flung my arms around his neck. "It's as beautiful as the necklace that Dougie got me"
I put my hand to the necklace which I was wearing and looked at Danny. He was jealous. That was a good sign. It meant that the plan was working. It meant that Danny was trying to speed things up a bit and if something was going to happen between me and him I wanted it to go as fast as it possibly could.
That whole night I couldn't stop smiling. I couldn't sleep because I was so excited about tomorrow. I wonder what would happen at Danny's, would he make a move? O I hope he does. I want him too. I want to kiss those soft lips and run my hand up and down those large muscular arms. I wish time would just speed itself up!
I woke up the next morning with a smile on my face. Today I was going round Danny's and I couldn't wait. I wondered if maybe Carrie had been wrong about him liking me and he did only want my opinion on his new song but I prayed that she was right and that he wanted something more.
I spent ages trying to figure out what to wear but eventually I decided on my lose jeans my black strappy top and my white jacket over it. It was sexy but laid back. I didn't want him to think I was desperate. I tied my hair up in a ponytail and did my make-up. 'Perfect' I thought to myself as I wandered downstairs.
It was 10 and I'd told Danny I'd be at his at 11 and seeing as I didn't know how long it would take me to get there I decided it best to leave.
"Bye mum" I called from the kitchen grabbing a piece of toast and heading for the door.
"And where do you think your going?" she asked walking down the stairs and staring at me.
"I told you mum, I'm going over Danny's" I replied unbolting the door and stepping outside "I don't know what time I'll be back so don't wait up and if you need me just call my mobile."
I shut the door and ran down the steps before she had a chance to stop me. I looked around and realised I actually had no idea where I was going and after 15 minutes of walking round in circles I eventually stopped to ask someone. I asked a woman who was trying to handle her twin children and after much shouting and chasing them down the road she managed to tell me directions. I followed what she had said and soon enough I was standing outside the address Danny had given me. My heart was pounding so fast I could barely breathe. I was actually quite nervous. It was 11.15. I was late. Better not stand here forever.
Well, here goes…
I had told her to come at 11 and it was now quarter past. Maybe she'd forgotten or maybe she'd decided she didn't want to come. I was just about to give up hope when there was a knock at the door. I got up and when out into the hall. I was nervous but I was hoping it wouldn't show.
"Hi!" she said brightly as I opened the door.
"Hey" I stepped aside and she walked in "So, did you find me alright?" I asked making casual conversation.
"Ha! No, I got lost about 5 times which is the reason I'm late by the way. Sorry."
Smiling I led her into the living room where she glanced around before making herself comfortable on the sofa.
"So er, where's the song? I can't wait to hear it!" she sounded excited and enthusiastic and now I was going to have to tell her the truth.
I sighed and slumped down beside her. "Well, about the song. Dougie stole it" I waited for her reaction but she just stared at me.
Well well well, Carrie was right after all. There was no song. He just wanted an excuse to invite me round. I didn't mind but I decided to mess about a bit and play a game.
I stared at him before saying in my most blunt voice "Dougie stole it? So, you haven't got it?"
He shook his head and apologized.
"Sorry? No Danny, sorry's not good enough." I stood up and wandered to the other side of the room before turning to him and crossing my arms "I could have been spending quality time with my mates but instead I spent an hour trecking round London, wandering the streets, trying to find this place and now I'm here you tell me there's no song? Well thanks a lot Danny, waste of my time."
Ok so maybe I exaggerated a bit but it was fun to see his reaction. He was staring at me in disbelief and then suddenly started apologizing over and over again, babbling the same excuse about how Dougie had stolen it because he wanted to learn it. I smiled to myself. He looked so cute. This was amusing but I felt sorry for him. He genuinely thought I was annoyed.
"Danny, Chill. I'm just messing with you. It's not a waste of my time at all. We can have a laugh."
He smiled then ran up to me. He grabbed me round the waist and lifted me in the air spinning me round. He eventually put me down I hit him playfully on the arm. I wanted to feel his arms round me again and that moment all I wanted to say was
"Again Danny again."
"Again?" he said before turning round and running up to me repeating what he had just done. This time he spun me faster and when he put me down I almost fell over. He caught me just in time and pulled me towards him. I looked up and just gazed at him.
Come on mate, she's there in your arms just gazing at you. It's the moment you've been waiting for. Come on already Kiss her. KISS HER!
He was moving his face towards mine and I knew this was it. The moment I've been wanting for so long. The kiss between me and Danny Jones. The kiss that I had dreamt of and planned for so long was actually going to happen!
Then suddenly I got scared. I mean yes I've had boyfriends before but I've never had a proper kiss. I wanted to kiss Danny so bad…I did! But what if he didn't like it? What if I was sloppy and awful and put him right off?
I could feel his breath on my face now. He was getting closer. Stop him; stop him Louise before you ruin your chances completely!
"Er, I have to go" I said it and bolted to the door and down the street.
Annnnd she's gone. Shit. I've only gone and scared her off. I knew I should have waited until I knew she felt the same way. So why didn't I? Well Danny, you've really gone and fucked it up now, you got no chance in hell with her.
Shall I go after her? No, she'll think you're desperate. Crap, shit, fuck bollocks….damn! What am I going to do?
I started pacing the room, I really liked her and I'd just gone and scared her off. I heard a noise and hoping that it was Louise I looked up. It was Dougie. He was standing there watching me with a confused look upon his face.
He sighed "What did you do?" he asked as if he knew something has gone wrong. I didn't like that. It was like I was predictable and that I always mucked things up. I didn't want him to think that he was right.
"What do you mean what did I do? Nothings wrong…I'm fine, I'm fine" I said trying to persuade him.
He stared at me for a bit and then said "Ok, whatever you say mate" he started walking towards the kitchen slowly. Waiting for me to tell him what had actually happened. I suppose I could tell him, I could use some advice.
"Alright then, I'll tell you"
Immediately he stopped walking, turned round and sat down on the nearest sit. He's like a girl. Always up for a bit of gossip.
"But first, how did you know something was wrong?"
"Dude, your pacing the room with a troubled look on your face and I just ran into Louise at the front door who looked like she was about to cry."
"Crap did I make her cry?" I asked. I really had mucked things up between me and her.
Dougie's eyes widened. Like I say, he's obsessed with gossip. I sat down, placed my head in my hands and explained the whole thing. How she'd come round, listened to the excuses and about the non existent song, how we'd been getting on fantastically and then how I'd tried to kiss her.
"And that's when she ran out of the house?" I finished. I looked at Dougie waiting for an answer.
"Well mate, I dunno what's up with her I mean, if I were a girl I'd totally let you kiss me!" he said seriously.
"Er thanks?" I questioned. Not knowing whether to take this as a compliment or whether to be worried. This conversation was obviously going nowhere so I got up and started walking out of the room. Then Dougie started talking again.
"Ok dude, I have something to tell you about Louise" he said and I looked up hoping for an explanation of why she had backed away "The reason that Louise doesn't want to kiss you is cos she's so attracted to me!"
He laughed and I just shook my head. Dougie's not the greatest guy to turn to for advice but he was the only one around.
"Ok Doug, joke over" I said seriously and Dougie stopped laughing "I know she's 17 and all but I really like her" I meant it and by the look on Dougies face he knew that I meant it to.
"Daniel Jones, are you telling me that this girl is one you're actually going to hold on to? Wow, she must be something special!" he looked surprised.
"Yer, she is" I replied half laughing at Dougie's joke. I know I'm not the greatest at holding onto one girl for long but surely I wasn't that bad?
"Ok, here's what you do" he leaned forwards "you call her and ask her what's up with her. It's the only way you're going to get and honest explanation."
That was his advice? Phone her. Well, I suppose I could give it a try. I thanked him and he nodded. Walking over to the phone and took a deep breath. I dialled the number and let it ring.
"Hey, you want some Nacho's?" Dougie called from the kitchen. He really is a strange boy.
I had run into Dougie on my way out who had attempted to stop me and ask what was wrong but I was so close to tears that I just barged past him and carried on running. Once I was about half way down the street I slowed to a fast walk. What was I going to do now? Danny probably thinks I don't like him. Well, he's got that wrong. I do like him…so much. I really did want to kiss him but I guess I was just scared.
I needed to talk to someone but who? I couldn't talk to Carrie, Danny was like a brother to her and there was no way I was telling mum. She'd freak out and jump to the conclusion that I'd already slept with him and that he was now going to be father to my child. Yeesh.
So who was there?
Just as I was thinking about who else I could talk to 'silence is a scary sound' started blaring from my pocket. I took my phone out and looked at the screen. All it read was 'Danny'
Come on Louise pick up. Pick up. It had been ringing for a while now. Perhaps she was trying to avoid me.
"Hello?" phew she had answered; she sounded scared and was speaking quietly.
"Hey, are you ok?" I asked cutting straight to the chase.
She started to answer but I couldn't hear her because Dougie had come into the room singing at the top of his voice. I picked up the nearest thing, which happened to be a pen, and threw it at him. It hit him in the side of his head and he flung his hand up to where it had hit causing him to drop the bowl of what look like Nachos which went everywhere and also causing the bowl to smash.
"What was that?" I heard Louise say from the other end of the phone.
"O, er just Dougie being his usually self. Look Louise if I offended you back at mine then I'm sorry it's just that…"
"Yes?" she sounded hopeful.
"Well it's just that I really like you and I thought you felt the same way" I said it quickly as not to embarrass myself.
There was a long pause and then she spoke the words I'd been desperate to hear.
"O Danny I do! I really like you, I always have and I did want to kiss you but I was worried you'd be disappointed."
"Disappointed?" I asked slightly confused "With what?"
"Well, the kiss, I'm not exactly an expert."
She kept going on about how she was scared and didn't want me to be put off. Someone was knocking at the front door and I could see Dougie wasn't going to answer it. He was too busy cleaning up the Nachos and smashed glass that was on the floor. With the phone in my hand I wandered to the door.
"Louise, I couldn't care less how good you are. I just want to kiss you!"
I opened the door and standing on the doorstep holding her phone to her ear was Louise.
"Then kiss me" she whispered.
She moved towards me and put her arms round my neck. I bent my head and said quietly "this time don't run" she smiled and our lips met.
This felt so right. With his arms around me and mine around his neck my first kiss was magical. It was perfect.
"Danny who's at the door?"
I broke away from Danny and saw Dougie casually stroll into the hall with a broom. Must be something to do with what I heard on the phone.
"Whoops, I seem to have interrupted something" he said. He winked at Danny who nodded back. We laughed as Dougie turned round and walked smack bang into the doorframe "Carry on!" he shouted whilst rubbing his forehead.
I ran my fingers through Danny's hair and he turned back to me smiling.
"Sorry if it was sloppy" I said staring into his big blue eyes.
"Not at all" he replied and with his hands round me he gave me a kiss which was sure to stick in my memory for a long time. After all, not everyone gets to say that their first kiss was with Danny Jones.
I was so happy for Danny and Louise. They were completely in love. Even though they hadn't actually said 'I love you' yet I could see it wasn't going to be long before they did. Possibly tonight.
Danny was taking Louise out for a meal because it was there 3 month anniversary. 3 months! It seems like only yesterday Louise came running to my house basically screaming about her first kiss with Danny. She had been so happy and later on I had found out that Danny had phoned both Tom and Harry and told them about it as well. Apparently he was over the moon.
To be perfectly honest I don't think I've ever seen both of them this happy. They can't stop smiling. There's barely a moment when there apart. She even sleeps at his sometimes. I wondered what happened at these overnight stays of hers but she said nothing apart from the occasional kiss. I think she's telling the truth because I'm pretty sure that if she'd gone further she wouldn't be able to keep it to herself.
I was the luckiest guy alive. I was with the most gorgeous girl ever! The girl I'd been waiting for. She was amazing and she was the girl of my dreams. I just couldn't believe how well things had been going. She was so laid back and fun to be with. We had an amazing relationship.
I'd been with her for 3 months now and that's a long time for me so it needs to be something special to celebrate it. I was taking her out to the most fancy and expensive restaurant around and I'd booked a table for two on the balcony. I couldn't wait to see her. It was 6 and I'd told her to be ready by 8. I now had two hours to wait. I just wanted to see her, hug her, kiss her. When she wasn't with me I felt alone. Like a part of me was missing. I wanted to see her so badly. I just wanted to hold that curvy body of hers in my arms and never let go. She was my angel.
How cheesy do I sound?
I was so excited! Danny was picking me up at 8 and it was now 7.45. This was going to be an amazing night and as I stared at myself in the mirror I couldn't help but think oh my god. I looked fabulous! The best I ever had.
Me and Carrie had gone into town last week and she had helped me pick the most perfect dress. It was black with thin straps, it stopped at knee length and glistened in the light. My hair I had left natural so that it was curled into ringlets falling just below my shoulders. Round my neck was the necklace I'd worn at my birthday party and on my wrist was the gorgeous silver bracelet Danny had given me.
I'd been so busy admiring myself that I didn't hear the doorbell go off. It rung for a second time and I snapped back to reality. I ran to the window and saw Danny's car parked outside. Smiling I slipped my black heels on and started to walk downstairs. I had butterflies. I'd been on dates with Danny before but this was different. This was special. I reached the bottom of the stairs and took a deep breathe. I hoped he would like what I was wearing.
I opened the door and poked my head round so that he couldn't see me entirely.
"Hey sexy" he smiled at me and moved slightly trying to get view of what I was wearing "come on then lets see you" he said impatiently.
"Ok but you have to promise not to laugh" I said and after making him promise I finally stepped into full view.
He looked me up and down and smiled.
"You look absolutely stunning. I, I can't believe how lucky I am to have you."
This time it was me that smiled. He held out his hand and I took it. Our fingers linked and after shutting the front door we walked down the steps. He opened the car door for me and I stepped inside. Once he had got in and done his seatbelt up he leant over and kissed me on the cheek. I turned to him and kiss him on the lips. The night had started perfectly.
I wonder how Danny and Louise's night is going. Danny had left the house as happy as I'd ever seen him. I was so happy for him but at the same time I was jealous. Not only had he found the girl of his dreams, but that girl happened to be Louise.
The past 3 months that they had been together I'd spent a lot of time with her. She was round mine and Danny's basically everyday and often she stayed the night too. Me and her were so close. She was a great girl and we spent many times taking the piss out of Danny. Sometimes when Danny was busy and she was bored she'd come over and we'd order pizza and spend the night watching DVD's, sometimes talking until the early hours of the morning when we'd eventually fall asleep on the sofa or living room floor.
She was such a laugh and we were such close friends. I just wish we could be a little more.
The night was going perfect. We'd arrived at the restaurant and with my arm around her waist we walked in.
"Do you have a reservation?" asked a waiter, eyeing up Louise at the same time.
"Er yes, names Danny Jones" I said and noticing where he was staring I added on "o and by the way, my face is here."
He looked up and started walking towards the balcony. We walked through the glass doors which were held open by two other waiters who muttered 'good evening' as we passed through and were led to our table. It was placed right in the middle with candles and champagne already waiting.
"O Danny it's beautiful" she said throwing her arms around me and almost knocking me over.
I laughed and replied with "Beautiful night for a beautiful girl". She giggled and tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear.
I pulled the chair out for her and she sat down. I kissed her on the cheek before seating myself and she smiled. What a fantastic evening this was going to be.
I never knew Danny could be this romantic. Previous dates had consisted of cinema and then a walk in the park. I mean yes I loved them because we always ended up sitting on the grass just cuddling but this, this was wonderful. We'd just finished eating and were now sitting drinking champagne. It wasn't legal but I guess they thought I was the same age as Danny. I wish I could stay here forever. In this moment. It was perfect, he was perfect and well, I love him.
Nothing could ruin this night. Nothing. She really was the girl of my dreams. Her moving to ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />London was the best thing that had ever happened to me. I'd waited about a month for her and then I finally had and now we had spent 3 amazing months together! I know 3 months doesn't sound long but believe me, for me to hold on to one girl for this long is pretty incredible.
The night was even better than I'd expected. Mainly because we were actually left alone for once, there were no screaming girls interrupting us asking for a picture with me. Don't get me wrong, I love our fans but sometimes it's nice to get a bit of peace and quiet.
I'd planned a surprise for Louise and I thought that now was the perfect chance to show her it. I got the money that we owed out of my wallet and put it on the table then grabbing her hand I led her out of the restaurant.
"Time to go I guess" she said still holding tightly onto my hand.
I walked straight past the car and headed towards the park.
"Danny we've walked past the car, its back there" she said we walked through the many trees surrounding us.
"I know" I answered.
We carried on walking for about 15 minutes in silence. I was in front of her leading the way but still holding onto her hand.
"Daaaaanny! Its dark and cold. You know I hate the dark and if you haven't noticed I have a rather short dress on."
I laughed and swung her in front of me. We had arrived at our location. She gasped when she saw it. Laid out on the grass underneath a large tree was a picnic blanket with 2 candles and a bottle of wine laid out on top. I walked up behind her and put my arms around her waist. Resting my chin on her shoulder I asked "you like?" and she replied with a quiet but believable "yes".
We sat down and I opened the bottle of wine. I poured us each a glass and handed one to her. She took a sip and almost choked on it when a firework went of above us.
"O Danny, you didn't" she said turning to me.
"O yes I did" I said gazing back at her.
"You're the best boyfriend I could have ever asked for" she said smiling. She leant in and we kissed.
Wow. He'd done all of this just for me. This really was an amazing night. The night was perfect and so was everything else.
I leant back against him and put my head and against his chest. He kissed the top of my head and started stroking my arm. I could just fall asleep here in his arms.
The firework display was magical and so was this night. I never wanted it to end. I closed my eyes and listened to his heart beat. Then a noise sounding like a camera went of and I opened my eyes expecting to see a swarm of paparazzi closing in on us. Instead I saw Danny's phone in front of me.
"Hey!" I said sitting up and reaching out for it.
"Sorry it's just that you're so cute when your asleep" he replied staring at the phone screen.
"Aww thanks but I wasn't asleep now let me see" he showed me the picture and I grabbed the phone out of his hand, go up and started running.
"Hey give that back" I heard him call to me.
"You'll have to catch me first" I called back and hearing the mat scrape back I guessed he had got up.
"Alright then" I could hear him getting closer. Running in a short dress and heels is not easy and I knew that any minute now his arms would wrap round my waist and he'd twirl me round. I slowed down a bit and soon enough I felt his hands on either side of me.
"Gotcha" he said.
I turned round and playfully pushed him, A little too hard perhaps because he fell over backwards dragging me down with him. We ended up on the grass, which happened to be wet, in a heap with me on top of him giggling uncontrollably whilst he tugged the phone from my hand.
After a while I managed to stop giggling. I flicked some hair out of my face and looked at Danny. Tonight had been romantic, fun and so memorable.
"Thank you" I whispered and he smiled. I melted inside whenever he did that.
"Its alright" he whispered back before pulling me into the longest and most passionate kiss we'd shared so far.
Perfect was the only word I could that would describe this moment, this night, this girl.
We were having such a good time and she seemed to like the surprise. We were sitting watching the fireworks. They were just as I had planned them. Holding her in my arms felt so right and as I looked at her I saw she had closed her eyes. She looked beautiful. I reached for my phone and took a picture. As soon as she heard it go off she opened her eyes and sat up.
She complained and attempted to grab it of me but I held it higher than she could reach and told her that she looked beautiful.
"Awww thanks, but I wasn't asleep. Now let me see!" she demanded and I showed her the picture.
Before she had even looked at it she snatched it out of my hand and began to run. I called for her to give it back but she said that I would have to catch her. I agreed and started chasing her round the park. It didn't take me long to catch her because the dress she was wearing obviously wasn't made for running. I caught her and she turned round me and pushed me gently. I played along and made myself fall backwards and decided that if I was going down she could come with me. I grabbed her hand and she fell on top of me.
We stared at each other for a while before she whispered "Thank you."
I told her it was alright and then we just lay there kissing. It was perfect.
And then her phone went off.
She moaned, her lips still pressed against mine and reached for her bag. She pulled away from me and sat up. She flipped it open and answered.
"Hello?" she paused and moved of me. Standing up she mouthed 'back in a min' and headed towards the trees.
"Carrie you interrupted a perfect kiss!" I moaned down the phone
"Sorry I just wanted to know if you'd told him yet" she replied sounding deeply interested in what was going on.
"No, not yet, I haven't had the chance and I'm scared about his reaction."
"Hmm yes I suppose but still, you have to tell him. I mean when you told me I was shocked so he's bound to be a little but he'll get over it."
The conversation we were having went on for about another 10 minutes and Danny was probably wondering where I was.
"Ok ok I'm gonna tell him" I eventually said "But, how do I say it?"
She sighed. "Now let's think, how could you possibly say it? I think the words –
I cut her off and finished her sentence "I love you"
She laughed and then from behind me I heard "Who was that?"
I turned round to see a shocked and rather hurt Danny.
I had been sitting on my own for at least 15 minutes now. I was bored and wanted Louise back, to hold her. After a bit longer I decided to go looking for her.
I walked through the tress surrounding the park until I heard her voice. I walked into a clearing and saw that she had her back to me. I thought that I would scare her so I snuck up behind her, making sure she couldn't hear me and prepared to put my hands on either side of her waist. She was listening to whoever was on the other end of the phone, really focusing on what they were saying and all of a sudden she spoke.
"I love you" were the only words that came out of her mouth.
What the hell?
"Who was that?" I asked and she turned her head quickly
"I have to go" she said almost immediately down the phone and hung up
"Well, Who was it?" I could hear the anger in my voice and I was actually quite upset. It could have been another guy. Was she cheating on me?
"It was no-one" she hesitated "just an old school friend"
She walked past me but I grabbed her arm and pulled her back
"Ouch Danny that hurts, let go" she said pulling her arm free
I didn't mean to hurt her but I needed to know the truth. "Are you cheating on me?" I asked plain and simply.
"What? No. Danny.." she sighed "can we go home?"
"So that's a yes then" I said and walked straight past her.
She stood there for a bit and then started running after me.
"Danny! Danny please!" she grabbed my arm but I threw it backwards causing her to let go and stumble a bit. I wanted to turn round and hug her. Tell her I was sorry and that I know she'd never cheat on me. I didn't though. I just kept on walking.
After about 15 minutes of walking in complete silence we reached the car. I unlocked it and got in the drivers seat. I must have been walking quite fast because I had to wait a while for her to get in. When she did she didn't bother doing her seatbelt up, she immediately turned to me and spoke.
"Danny, you know I would never cheat on you. You mean the world to me. I never want to lose you"
I ignored her and turned the key and started to reverse. I glanced at the time and saw that it was 12.30am. I couldn't be bothered to drive to hers and then mine.
"It's late. You can stay at mine tonight" I told her, keeping my eyes on the road and putting no emotion into my voice.
"O, ok" she muttered, doing her seatbelt up and staring out the window.
The car journey was silent apart from Danny's heavy breathing. He was angry and I was scared that something was going to happen. I didn't want to break up with him. I love him and I don't know why I just didn't tell him that in the first place. He just over reacted and didn't let me explain. If I had just told him then none of this would be happening and we'd probably still be in the park talking and having a laugh and possibly more.
When we got to his house I saw that the lights were off. Good, no-one was home. No-one would have to witness an argument then. He didn't say anything just got straight out of the car and headed for the front door. I stepped out and shut the door. He didn't bother to lock it but that wasn't my main priority at the moment. My main priority was making Danny see what a complete idiot he was being and sort this silly argument out.
I walked up the steps and through the front door. I slammed it and saw that he was heading upstairs. He flinched when he heard the door slam but didn't stop or turn round. Looks like I was going to have to start talking then.
"Danny what is wrong with you?!" I asked desperatly and he stopped walking.
"What's wrong with me? What is wrong with me?" he said, he had his back to me he was laughing. It wasn't that laugh that I loved though. It was cold and harsh and it freaked me out. He turned and stared at me. "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK IS WRONG WITH ME LOUISE?!" he was shouting and I was scared but I didn't want him to notice.
"Well, I don't know Danny! One minute we're having a laugh and the next-"
He cut me off
"The next I hear you saying 'I love you' to someone else"
"It didn't mean anything. I was speaking to a friend" I said, desperately trying to get him to believe me.
"Yer, a friend who's just a little bit extra. What was I louise? Was I just your bit on the side. Was I just someone you came to when the other one wasn't available? Wow, and I thought we had something special, I guess I was wrong."
I couldn't believe this was happening. Why couldn't I just tell him that it was Carrie on the phone and that it was him that I loved? What if I told him but he though that I was lying. I wanted to stop this argument. I wish that I could rewind time and never answer the phone but instead continue kissing Danny. O how I wanted to feel those soft lips pressed against mine at this moment. I wanted him to pull me towards him and put his arms around me and hold me. Instead he was accusing me of cheating on him and I was angry with him.
"YOU PIG!" I shouted and threw my bag at him. I could feel the tears coming but I continued to stick up for myself. "Of course we have something special! How can you not see that? How dare you accuse me of cheating on you! I thought you trusted me! You heard about 5 seconds of that conversation and it wasn't with some other guy it was with Carrie. I was telling her about how much I loved you but didn't know how to tell you. Yer that's right Danny I love you. I FUCKING WELL LOVE YOU!"
There, I'd told him the truth. Now all I had to do was wait for his reaction. I'd told him how I felt, I told him what the phone call was about and I told him who was on the other end of the phone, but did he believe me? I stood there waiting for him to say something. He didn't say anything though. Juts stared directly at me. Then he picked up his car keys up grabbed his coat and walked out, slamming the front door behind him.
What the hell had just happened?
He obviously didn't believe me. Why not? We've been together 3 months and the first time I say 'I love you' he storms out of the house. We've never argued before and I hated it. I was angry at him but at the same time I was worried about him. I was worried about what he was going to do.
Hot tears were stinging my eyes and I knew that any minute now they would be streaming down my face. Danny was gone and I didn't know when he was going to be back. I was just in his house on my own. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't get home but I didn't want to stay here all night on my own. I just stood there, in the exact spot where Danny had left me. I was in the living room and to my left were the big windows that gave a view of the street outside. It was dark and the curtains weren't drawn. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Danny's car pulling out of the driveway and someone else walking up the drive. I couldn't tell who because by now my eye sight was blurred with the amount of tears in them. I blinked and they spilled down my cheeks. I didn't wipe them away, just let them flow. I heard the door open and someone call my name.
"Louise? Where's Danny go-" Dougie walked into the front room and stopped talking when he saw me crying. He ran up forwards and put his arms around me. "Louise, what happened?"
I didn't answer, just stood there with my arms around him sobbing into his shoulder. His grip on me tightened and he stroked my hair.
"Danny looked pretty angry from what I could see of him, did you have an argument?" he asked, still stroking my hair trying to calm and sooth me.
"Yes" I managed in between sobs. "I was on the phone to a friend and he heard me say 'I love you' and now he thinks I'm cheating on him."
I broke free of Dougie's hug and looked at the shoulder I'd been crying into. His shirt was smudged with mascara which meant that it was most probably smudged all over my face but at this moment in time I couldn't care less. I walked over to the sofa and sat down. Placing my head in my hands I cried my hardest yet. I wanted Danny to come back. I didn't want this relationship to be over because of one stupid thing. I felt Dougie come and sit next to me and put his arm round my shoulder.
"Look at me" he said in an official tone and I followed his instruction and looked him in the eyes. I could tell that he was worried about me and as he wiped away my tears I couldn't help but think how lucky I was to have him. "Danny's stupid, we all know that, but he loves you, even though he may not have said it yet, I know he does and he's not going to let this ruin your relationship."
I smiled and hugged him. That little speech had made me feel much better. It was cold in this house and I felt warm in Dougie's arms. I didn't want to let go. I looked up at him and caught him staring at me. He didn't look away. Instead he bent his head and locked his lips with mine.
"I can't" I said breaking free of both the kiss and the hug "Danny, I love him. I can't do this to him."
I could hear myself saying it and I did mean it. I did love Danny. But at the same time I wanted Dougie. I craved the taste of his lips so when he kissed me again I didn't break free. I let him kiss me, and I, I kissed back.
What was I doing? I knew that Danny loved this girl so why was I kissing her? Then again, why was she kissing me back?
She was beautiful and even when she was crying with mascara running down her face she was gorgeous. When I was hugging her I felt like I was in heaven and I just wanted to kiss her and so I had gone for it. I know some would say that I was taking advantage because she was upset and vulnerable but I was pretty sure she knew what she was doing. So when I kissed her for the second time and she kissed back I just let it happen. It's only natural. I wasn't going to stop something that I had craved so much in the past few months.
So here we were, on the sofa, just making out. I was terrified that any minute now Danny would walk in and catch us but at the same time I didn't care. I was in the moment and everything was perfect. I was with a beautiful girl and I didn't want this to end. It felt so right, although I knew it was wrong.
I parted her lips with my tongue and we spent the next few minutes just kissing. I moved my hand down her back and could tell it had given her shivers because for the first time this night she smiled. I wondered if she was enjoying this as much as I was. I hoped she was.
After a while she broke away. She looked at me with those beautiful, big brown eyes and got up. She walked towards the door and for a moment I thought she was going to leave, that was until she turned round and said to me in a rather seductive tone "You coming?" before biting her bottom lip and nodding towards the stairs.
I considered the offer for a moment. I mean, she was 17 and I was 19, it wasn't much of an age gap but the fact that she was Danny's girlfriend was also crossing my mind. I'd been waiting so long for this but he was my best friend. Could I do this to him?
She was still standing there waiting for me to either follow or disappoint her. I looked at her and then I thought, Louise wasn't going to tell Danny and neither was I. So I got up and walked up to her and put my arms around her waist. I kissed her and she whispered "Let's go upstairs" before releasing herself from me and walking towards the stairs. I followed her with a single thought in my mind. What Danny doesn't know, can't hurt him.
I love Danny. I do. But at this moment in time I wanted Dougie. I wanted him for myself and he seemed to want me so there was nothing in the way of a great night.
He followed me up the stairs, occasionally taking my hand and making me turn round just so that he could kiss me, when we finally reached his bedroom.
Without even taking in our surroundings I pulled him towards me and kissed him passionately. He put his arms around me and kissed me back with force. We fell to the floor, him on top of me kissing my lips and then neck. "Are you sure?" he whispered into my ear and I nodded. Dougie would be me first and even though I was nervous, I was ready and I wanted this to happen.
I lifted of his shirt and ran my fingers over his tanned skin and his tattoo which I loved so much. He kissed me and we stood up. Noticing the door was open he went and shut it. It felt more private now. I walked up behind him and put my arms round him. I started to kiss his back and he turned around and lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around him and we kissed again. Were we ever gonna reach the bed? As if he had read my mind he carried me over to the other side of the room and put me onto the bed.
He lay on top of me and ran his hands down my body until he found the bottom of my dress. He began to pull it upwards, tracing every inch of my body as he did so, and lifted it over my head. A sense of pleasure ran through my body as he ran his hands over my nearly naked body. He pulled of his jeans and threw them across the room before taking my hands and guiding them downwards towards his boxers so that I helped him pull them off. I giggled as he played with the lace of my bra and then un-clipped it at the back, I pulled it off and dropped it onto the floor. I closed my eyes and put my head back as I felt his hands move slowly downwards and play with the hem of my knickers before slowly and pleasurably pulling them off as well. I opened my eyes to see a black g-string fly across the room. God knows where that'll be in the morning.
We didn't bother with the covers. They just lay beneath us whilst we had a little party on top of them. An extremely loud party may I add. It was fun. He was good. At first it hurt, but it would, being my first time and all, but as we got into the flow of things the pain seemed to lessen and the pleasure seemed to grow. He did things to me that made me feel things I didn't even know I was capable of feeling. I had to grip tight onto him to stop myself from screaming. He slowed his pace and we rolled over so that I was now on top of him. We lay there, panting and out of breath. I bent my head and kissed him. "My turn" I whispered and he smiled. I moved slowly downwards, kissing every inch of his body as I did so. He groaned and I was happy that I was managing to please him. As I moved further and further downwards I knew that this was going to be a night to enjoy, a night to remember but most of all, a night to regret
Last night was amazing. We'd spent the whole time just rolling around, our naked bodies entwined and although she wasn't an expert, she was perfect. She'd pleasured me in a way that no other ever had and it felt amazing to have her lying with me.
It was morning. The room was bright and a cool breeze was blowing through my window. She was asleep, with her head resting on my chest and one arm over my pelvis. I'd just woken up and was now watching her. Her hair had fallen over her face and as I reached to put it back behind her ear she awoke.
"Morning" I said smiling down at her "How you feeling?" I asked, I knew last night had been her first time and I was hoping I hadn't hurt her in anyway.
"Sore" she replied, mid yawn, "but happy" she traced my tattoo with her fingers and I just gazed at her for a bit.
I slid down and rolled onto my side. I leant on one arm and put the other around her. Pulling her towards me I kissed her. She put her arms around me and returned the kiss. I pulled away and whispered "you're amazing" to her. She smiled.
"You weren't too bad yourself" was her reply. She winked at me and began to kiss me again. His hand started moving down my back and just as things were getting steamy the front door slammed and someone called "Dougie?" up the stairs.
At first we ignored whoever it was calling Dougie. We were to wrapped up in what was going on in bed but after they called again and we realised who it was we broke apart instantly.
"Danny!" I gasped, terrified.
"Fuck" Dougie replied looking around his wildly.
Our clothes were spread over the floor and we were just lying together, naked between the sheets. I could hear Danny's heavy footsteps coming up the stairs and any minute now he'd burst in and catch us. What were we going to do?
"I need clothes" I said urgently and he reached over to his chair and gave me a red hoodie. I threw it on and then got out of bed. Danny's footsteps were getting closer as I ran around Dougie's room frantically picking my clothes up. Where was my underwear? Where the fuck was my underwear?
"Louise! He's close I can hear him. Hide!" Dougie said to me. I didn't have time to get to his en-suite bathroom. Where the hell was I gonna hide? I was just on the floor next to his bed. I gasped. His bed! Yes! I rolled underneath it and although it was tight fit it meant I was hidden from Danny. I heard Dougie laugh but I didn't say anything, just lay there silent and still with all my clothes in a bundle in my arms. I cannot believe I'm doing this I thought. I heard Dougie's bedroom door open and I watched as Danny's entered the room. I held my breath as he started to talk to Danny.
I must have been lying there for at least 15 minutes before Danny finally left and went downstairs. I didn't move. I was scared. What if Danny came up. I was just lying there, staring at the bottom of Dougie's bed, hugging my clothes to my chest. I saw a pair of legs next to the bed and then Dougie's head came into view. He stared at me and then burst out laughing.
"Don't laugh!" I was being serious.
"Sorry, it's just that you look so funny" he reached out his hand I took it.
I pulled myself out from underneath the bed and stood up. He was still laughing and I just wanted to shout at him but I knew that Danny would hear me so instead I whispered in a harsh tone.
"Dougie do you have any idea how worrying that was? I love Danny and I've just gone and slept with his best mate! How do you think that makes me feel? He just almost caught us and now I've got to go downstairs and face him. You may be able to handle it Dougie but I can't! I just can't!" I stopped and stared at him. I could feel tears coming on but I held them back.
"I'm sorry. I know, I'm sorry. Come here." He walked towards me and hugged me.
"Now go downstairs and distract him. I'll be down in a minute" I told him.
He walked towards the door and i reached for his hand. "Dougie" i said and he turned around "Thanks" he smiled and kissed me on the tip of my nose before turning back and heading for the door.
He walked out the door and downstairs in nothing but his boxers and I stood in his room for a minute before gathering my clothes and heading out. I still had no idea where my underwear was but I couldn't be bothered to look. I walked down the hall and into Danny's room. I dumped all my clothes on his bed and wandered over to his draws. I pulled out a pair of his boxers and one of his shirts and slipping out of Dougie's warm hoodie I put them on. I threw his hoodie into his room before wandering downstairs.
Yesterday morning I couldn't wait to see Danny. Today I was dreading it. I could hear voices coming from the kitchen so I guessed that's where they were. I stood outside the door for a bit before pulling the shirt down a bit more, taking a deep breath and pushing it open.
Dougie had come down and we were sitting drinking coffee and talking. He was being unusually quiet. I wonder was up with him. I was just about to ask him when I heard the door open and looking up I saw Louise walk in. The sight of her just made me want to walk up to her, take her in my arms and kiss her.
She smiled at Dougie and then wandered over to the breakfast bar to make herself some cereal. She didn't acknowledge me at all. It was like I wasn't even there.
"So you stayed the night then?" I asked.
"Well, I couldn't exactly go home could I?" she replied stubbornly
I took in what she as wearing. My shirt and my boxers. Her hair was a mess but she still looked beautiful. Just looking at her like that, not caring what she looked like made me realise how much I loved her. She'd spent the night alone and cold in my bed and I wasn't there to hold her close like I should have. 'She looks sexy in those clothes' were my thoughts at that moment and I couldn't help but voice those thoughts out loud.
She turned round slamming her hands on the desk causing the milk to fall over and spill all over the breakfast bar. She didn't take any notice of it.
"Danny what the fuck?" she said angrily. "Yesterday you were acting like a jealous twat causing the two of us to argue for the first time ever! And now your acting like nothings happened. Well I'm sorry Danny but it did!"
I didn't say anything, just sat there. She looked so upset. I could see tears forming in those beautiful eyes of hers but she didn't do anything. She kept tight grip on the breakfast bar and didn't break eye contact with me. I couldn't believe I'd hurt such a beautiful girl. My beautiful girl.
"Your right" I said "I was acting like a jealous twat and I'm sorry. I guess I was just afraid of losing you."
She relaxed a little. Her grip on the breakfast bar loosened and a single tear rolled down her cheek. I walked up to her and embraced her in a hug. Her arms found there way round me and she didn't say anything for a while. I thought now would be the right time to tell her. I bent my head and whispered "I love you" into her ear before kissing her on the cheek.
My stomach flipped, I got butterflies and a shiver ran up my spine. He'd said it, he'd finally said I love you. I felt happy, excited and guilty. I loved him, he loved me and I'd just slept with his best mate. This was overwhelming and I couldn't cope. I buried my head in his chest and burst into tears.
He hugged me tighter and kissed the top of my head before pulling me away, lifting my chin and kissing me on the lips.
"I love you Danny" I said.
"I love you too baby" he replied. He wiped away my tears and kissed me. I put my head on his shoulder and looked at Dougie. He was avoiding eye contact with me and I happily obliged. I closed my eyes and breathed in Danny's scent.
Couldn't she see this was killing me? We'd just spent an amazing night together and now she was acting like it had never happened. Well, it had and it wasn't something that could just be forgotten. I thought she had enjoyed it but now I just felt like she was using me.
Un-noticed by the two lovers in the corner, I quietly slipped out of the kitchen and went to my room. I pushed the door open and looked around me. The bed was a mess with the covers askew and pillowed bunched together. My clothes were still on the floor but of course she had picked all of hers up. The hoodie she had briefly worn was lying on my chair and as I walked over to it I saw a note that was on top of it. I picked it up and read what it said.
I had fun last night
"Whatever" I said to myself, screwing it up and throwing it on the floor. I was still wandering round in nothing but my boxers and it was getting late so I decided to have a shower. I walked into the bathroom and stripped them off. I stepped into the shower and let the hot water run.
After a while I started to go pruney so I drew back the curtain and stepped out. I grabbed the nearest towel and wrapped it round my bottom half. I didn't bother drying myself of so I just let the water drip. I walked into my room, running my fingers through my hair and stopped when I saw Louise crawling round on my floor, still in Danny's shirt and boxers.
"Can I help you?" I asked simply and she turned round.
"Hello you" she said smiling "erm actually, I seem to have lost my er underwear."
I stared at her and then said "Sorry haven't seen it."
She gave me a funny look and tilted her head to the side. "o, I just thought that seeing as you were the one taking it of I thought you would know where you put it."
Without thinking I said "Nope, I was too busy trying to put something else somewhere."
She covered her mouth with her hand and giggled. "Dougie Poynter" she gasped before moving over to my bed and sitting on the end.
"Where's Danny?" I asked
"He's downstairs. We're going out in a minute, I'm borrowing some of his clothes but I need my knickers" she giggled again and I sighed.
"Well, I haven't seen them, but if I find them I'll let you know."
I joined her on the end of the bed and she turned to me.
"Look Dougie, last night was fun but, it can never happen again. I regret it, of course I do, if I didn't then I'd be a bad girlfriend. Well, actually I'm already a bad girlfriend, I mean I've just gone and slept with the love of my life's best friend" she managed a slight laugh before carrying on "I think we both know that nothing can come from it. It was just a one night fling. It's best if we just forget about it yer?"
She looked upset.
"It was nice" I agreed "and I regret it too. I mean I'm not exactly fulfilling my duties of being his best friend if I start screwing his girlfriend behind his back, am I? I agree, it's best if we both forget about it and I'll try but it might be hard. You were pretty good" I smiled at her and she smiled back.
"Dougie" she started "If its gonna be hard for you to forget because I was 'pretty good' then think how hard its gonna be for me to forget because you were fucking amazing."
She laughed and I hugged her. Danny called her name up the stairs and she broke away from me.
"Right, well I'll leave you to get dressed. Although, I doubt we've got any body secrets which we didn't find out last night" she said. I smiled and she kissed me on the cheek. I watched her as she walked out. She shut the door and I heard her walk across the landing to Danny's bedroom.
Forget? Forget? How was I supposed to forget? Not only had I slept with Danny's girlfriend. I'd fallen in love with her.
At least a month had past now and neither the argument or that night with Dougie had been mentioned. I hadn't even told Carrie who I trusted more than anything. She had found out about the argument through Tom who had of course been told by Danny. She had asked me about it and I had been truthful and explained the whole thing. However, I missed out the fact about sleeping with Dougie. As far as she knew, I had slept in Danny's room.
It was Danny's birthday today and tonight we; Danny, Me, Carrie, Dougie, Harry and Tom, were all going out to a nightclub. Apparently it was the best in London and Tom knew the owner so he had managed to get me and Carrie in even though we were underage. I couldn't wait. I could already tell that it was going to be an eventful night and I couldn't wait to see Danny. Me and Carrie were at my house getting ready. The guys were picking us up in about 5 minutes and we were just finishing our make-up. I was just adding more lip gloss when suddenly my stomach flipped and I had to rush to the bathroom.
For the past few weeks I'd been feeling really ill. I sometimes felt light headed and had been throwing up every morning. I know these symptoms normally occur during pregnancy but it wasn't possible. I'd only slept with Dougie and we'd used protection. Hadn't we?
That must have been the 3rd time today she'd had to run to the bathroom to be sick. She obviously wasn't well so I don't know why she's coming out tonight. I'd told her not to come but she refused to stay home because she wanted to be with Danny on his birthday.
"Louise..." I started as she walked out of the bathroom clutching a glass of water "are you sure you're ok? Coz you've been sick loads lately and I think that you should stay at home, I'm sure Danny wouldn't mind I mean its only one night."
She took a sip of the water and then shook her head.
"I'm fine. It's just something I ate. Plus, we're getting into a nightclub for free and we're underage…I'm not gonna miss that am I?"
"Hmm yer, it's pretty cool having a brother who's famous sometimes."
She nodded and took another sip. Suddenly her phone beeped and she looked at it.
"Text from Danny" she said.
"What does it say?"
"Hey Babe, we're outside so whenever your ready. Love you x x"
She walked over to the window and looked out. I stood behind her and saw that Dougie was standing outside the car. She walked back but I opened the window to shout something down.
"Doogie!" I said in a weird voice and he looked up "We'll be down in about 2 minutes k?"
"Okey Doke" he answered giving me the thumbs up.
I closed the window and walked over to the bathroom. Louise has just finished brushing her teeth and was now running her toothbrush under the tap.
"You ready to go?" I asked her.
"Mmhm" she said whilst applying more lip-gloss.
Once she had finished we walked into her room, grabbed our bags and walked downstairs. Louise slipped her shoes on and opened the front door. We walked down the front steps and got into the back of Tom's car. I got in first and sat between Dougie and Danny. Louise got in and sat next to Danny. She pecked him on the lips and Tom started to drive.
The Car journey was scarily quiet. We were all squashed together in the back with barely enough room to breathe and no-one was talking. Tom was concentrating on the road, Harry was fiddling with his phone and Carrie and Dougie were just sitting there. Louise was staring out the window, in her own little world. I took her hand and slipped my fingers into the spaces between hers. She turned to face me and smiled, then rested her head on my shoulder.
"You alright?" I asked.
"Yer" she whispered "I love you Danny"
"I know you do babe. I love you too" I lifted our hands and kissed hers.
That was all that anyone said in the whole car journey. Luckily it didn't take much longer for us to get to the club and soon enough we were piling into a dance hall filled with people of different ages going mad to the music blaring out through the whole place.
"Who wants a drink?" Harry shouted over the music and everyone gave him their order.
After about 10 minutes he came back. He was struggling with 4 beers and two Smirnoff's. The guys took their beers and the girls took the Smirnoff's.
"I wanna daaaaaance!" Louise shouted taking me by the hand and dragging me onto the dance floor.
I gulped down the last bit of my beer and shoved my glass in Harry's hand. I followed Louise and watched as she began to dance. I walked towards her and stood behind, putting my arms around her waist. She put hers above her head and round my neck. She moved up and down, shaking her hips and occasionally brushing her leg up against mine. Well this was nice.
We all stood in the corner watching Danny and Louise dancing, they were right in the centre of the dance floor and were attracting every ones attention. With every move they made their bodies would get closer and you could almost feel the heat coming of them. They were getting so into it and were obviously enjoying it.
I felt a stab of jealousy run through me. I wanted it to be me up there with my hands around her waist, instead it was with Danny. He was with the girl I loved. There wasn't a day I went without thinking about that night between me and Louise. It seemed that she had forgotten, surely not, you couldn't just forget something like. Could you? I downed the remainder of my beer and headed to the bar for another. I sat on a stool and signalled to the bartender.
"Alright mate. What can I get ya?" he asked.
"Same again. Ta."
I spun the stool round and looked through the crowd. I could just make out the two horny lovers and I could also see that Harry, Tom and Carrie had now joined them and were now dancing like mad near to where Danny and Louise were now making out.
I took my eye off them for a minute in order for me to pay the barman and grab my drink. When I looked back Louise had her hands linked with Danny and was standing on her tiptoes, whispering something into his ear. He nodded and she started making her way to the bar. Crap. Pretend you weren't looking. I swivelled my stool back round and carried on drinking in my beer pretending to be interested in what other alcoholic drinks were being offered. I saw her sit in the free stool next to me but pretended I didn't notice.
"Hey Doug!" she said smiling.
"O, hey" I replied trying to sound surprised "didn't see you there."
She laughed "great club eh?" she said calling the bartender over.
He came over and she ordered another Smirnoff. I told her I'd get it and she smiled and thanked me. God I loved her smile. Her drink had now come and she was sipping on it. Her soft, lips which I had once felt on every single part of my body covered the edge of the bottle top and she took a sip. I so desperately wanted to bring up that night…just to see if she had actually forgotten.
"Louise…" I began and she looked up but before I had to say anything I felt a head on my shoulder and looked down to see a rather worn out Tom.
"Dancing…..really…wears you out" he said gasping for breath.
"It only wears you out if you dance like Tom dances" Carrie chimed in.
"What…like a complete retard?" I asked and everyone laughed.
"Heeey, I'm not that bad" Tom said moving his head of my shoulder and folding his arms.
"No of course your not" I said "Now, anyone want a drink?"
Dougie had offered to buy drinks and we all accepted. After all, who would turn down a drink when you didn't have to pay? So we all got our drinks and found a table to sit down at. We couldn't really talk to each other because the music was so loud. The club was getting more and more packed which meant that it was most probably late. I couldn't be bothered to check the time so just sat there talking, or more shouting, to Dougie.
None of us really had much to drink apart from Louise, she seemed addicted to those Smirnoff ice's and just kept getting more. It would take her 10 minutes at the most to drink one bottle and then she'd be off to get another. As the night progressed she got more and more pissed and we eventually decided it would be best to take her home.
After dragging her away from the dance floor and the bar she eventually agreed to come home. We all piled into Toms car and started to drive home. Tom had only had one beer so he was alright driving. It was kind of an awkward drive home. It wasn't quiet like the drive there it's just that Louise was all over Danny and she seemed extremely horny. Her hands were everywhere and I mean EVERYWHERE! He smiled every now and again and then took her hands and put them back in her lap. It wasn't long before they started moving up his leg again. I could see Harry trying not to laugh and I hit him playfully.
"Shut up. She's drunk. And don't mention this to her tomorrow! She'll be well embarrassed!" I told him and he laughed.
"Don't worry. I won't say anything."
He winked at me and I gave him my 'I'm serious' look before glancing back to Danny. Louise's hands were in places which I didn't usually look at and my eyes widened.
"Danny we're at your house!" I blurted out as we turned the corner and stopped, I leant over to open the door "right off you go, see you tomorrow."
"Thanks for the lift mate" Danny said to Tom who nodded and waved.
"Right, next stop, Harry's" I said, desperate to get rid of the sight of Louise's hands running all over Danny.
Tom started the engine and we drove off. As soon as we had turned the corner me and Harry both said in unison "Well that was disturbing" before bursting into laughter.
Well, that had been a good night to say the least. The club had been awesome and now I was at my house with my beautiful, rather drunk, girlfriend. We walked towards the door, she kept stumbling over and I kept having to continuously catch her. I laughed at her, in the 4 months that we'd been going out I'd never seen her drunk and it was quite amusing.
I opened the front door and walked in. I dumped the keys on the side table and turned round to see where Louise had gone. She was just standing in the doorway looking round.
"Wooooow" she said as if she'd never seen this house before "its huge!"
I laughed and she started walking towards me.
"Daaaaaany?" she said.
"Yes?" I replied.
"Can I stay here tonight? Please please pleaaaase? I promise I'll behave myself!"
"Yer, of course you can. I'm not letting you go home now. Your mum will kill me!"
"Why?" she asked looking confused but cute.
She gasped "am not!"
"Are!" I argued.
She pouted and gave me the sarcastic 'meany' look. I kissed her and she perked up.
"I'm gonna make you some coffee" I laughed.
"Ok." She sighed "but I'm not drunk."
"Of course your not baby. Your just extremely hyper."
"Exactly" she giggled and headed for the living room. I heard her switch the TV on and then she started singing like mad along to whatever rubbish was on. I shook my head and headed for the kitchen.
I switched the light on and headed for the kettle. I could no longer hear Louise singing so I assumed she had fallen asleep on the sofa or something. The kettle started to boil and I turned round to lean on the counter. I jumped at the sight of Louise standing in the kitchen doorway.
"Bloody hell, I thought you were watching TV. You scared me" I said to her.
"I wanted to see you" she replied.
"That's nice" I said.
"And…I wanted to kiss you."
"O really?" I answered walking towards her.
"Yaha but I guess I can just go back and watch TV if you want."
She turned round and started walking back towards the living room but I grabbed her hand and pulled her towards me.
"Nope. You wanted a kiss and a kiss is what your gonna get."
She giggled and our lips locked. The kettle beeped, telling me that it was ready and I pulled away but she put her hand round the back of my head and pulled me into another more passionate kiss. She pulled me towards the counter and jumped up so that she was now sitting on it. I moved towards her and she wrapped her legs around me, kissing me softly at first but eventually harder and more vigorously. I played along and kissed her back, cupping her face with my hands and running them through her hair. I suddenly felt her hands move downwards and start to unbutton my jeans. I pulled away and she looked at me.
"Louise..maybe we shouldn't, I mean you're drunk. It might not be something that you really want."
She sighed. "Danny I love you, of course this is what I want and for the last time I am NOT DRUNK!"
"Ok ok but are you absolutely sure?"
She jumped of the counter and stood looking at me.
"It's been 4 months. I'm as sure as I'll ever be" she said.
I nodded and smiled as she bit her lip. I leant in for a kiss and she joined but when I stopped halfway she sighed again.
"What now?" she asked impatiently.
"Well, nothing really its just that I thought you said you were gonna behave yourself tonight."
I smiled at her. She didn't look impressed but then she broke into a smile.
"Daniel Jones….shut up and take your clothes off!" she ordered.
I stared at her in shock and then replied with "Only if you help me."
She kissed me and whispered "my pleasure" before carrying on what she had already started.
He was taking too long. I was becoming really impatient as he kissed my neck wildly, running his hand up my skirt and stroking my leg. I pushed him away from me and he staggered back toward the kitchen table. Walking over to him I jerked my top over my head, throwing it behind me and he smiled. I drove my pelvis into his as I now kissed him, grinding him hard against the table. He groaned and my passion grew. I forced him up onto the table behind and he cleared everything off it, wiping it to the floor and I climbed up on top of him.
I took the time to check out his body. I ran my hands over his chest, feeling every curve and indentation of his muscle tone, his skin as smooth as satin sheets. I lent down and kissed him softly on the lips. His hands moved up into my hair before making their way down my body, caressing my skin, and finally he reached my skirt and began to pull it down. I had to finish taking it off seen as I was on top of him and he couldn't reach my feet. Ruined the mood a bit but nevertheless I'm sure it will return.
He rolled me over so now he was on top and he yanked off his boxers. I ran his hands around my back, unclipping my bra. All that was left was my naughty little g-string. He grinned kissing my body, working his way down. He reached my stomach, and the kisses became more tender. As he got to my pants he gripped the top of them with his teeth and moving backwards, sliding off the table he pulled them down, grinning as he did so.
He jumped back up on top of the table and we got right to it. His body moved over mine and I held on to his sides, guiding him backward and forward. The table shook as he began driving in harder, I called out his name and he became faster and harder again. I was drawing in heavy breaths, and our bodies stuck together as they came together with the humidity. He bent down, his hair fixed to his forehead with sweat and I turned him around to bring myself on top of him. I started to ride him, jumping up and down on top of him. He cried out, whimpered with pleasure. The table shook even more. His groans became louder, my jumps became more forceful and the table creaked. We grew more and more, faster and faster, harder and harder until the table couldn't take anymore and gave way underneath us. We fell to the floor on top of the rubble.
I laughed uncontrollably and breathed heavily.
"I love you," I gasped.
His chest was rising and falling at pace next to me.
"I love you too," he whispered.
Opening my eyes I was blinded by light shining through the room and had to immediately shut them again. My head was pounding and the light was only making it worse. Bloody sun, or bloody alcohol should I be saying? Ah, why did I drink so much? Gawd. Where the hell am I anyway?
I forced my eyes open and looked forwards. All I saw was someone's chest moving up and down as they breathed, my arm stretched across it. Hello Danny I thought to myself. I don't remember coming here. O wait, yes I do. I thought back and everything just came back to me. The night club, the car journey, and the sex. Oh my god the table! We broke the fucking table! Ha! How amusing.
I sat up and looked around. We were in Danny's bedroom. Hang on…I thought we…but it was downstairs….how did I get up here? Wait a minute…we did actually sleep together didn't we? It wasn't just an extremely erotic dream was it? I threw the covers of us both. Nope it wasn't a dream. Both me and Danny were completely naked. I stared at Danny and couldn't help but glance downwards. I gave a slight smile and bit my lip. Big boy.
I looked back up at his face. He looked gorgeous, the sun light reflecting of his skin and locks of his hair falling over his face. For a moment I forgot about all the pain I was in but then suddenly it all came back to me and I clutched my head. Paracetomal…I need paracetomal.
I got out of bed as quietly and carefully as I could, grabbed Danny's dressing gown, looked back at Danny who had now rolled onto his side, and silently walked out of the room. God, even more sunlight out here. Just get to the kitchen, find the paracetomal and go back to bed.
I walked through the front door and could hear noises coming from the kitchen. I walked in and saw Louise desperately trying to reach the top cupboard. She was wearing Danny's dressing gown and as she reached up it moved up a bit revealing more of her leg.
"Need any help?" I asked as she once again stood on her tiptoes in an attempt to reach the top cupboard.
She spun round and sighed "Yes please. I need the paracetomal"
I walked up to the cupboard and reached up. I opened the cupboard door and pulled out a box of paracetomal. I placed them in her hand and she smiled.
I nodded and felt my stomach rumble. I was starving. I looked at the cereal we had, coco pops, coco rocks and more coco pops. I guess I'll have coco pops then. I grabbed the box, poured some into a bowl, splashed the milk onto it and walked towards the dining room with it. Louise followed. I entered the room only to notice that the table was missing and instead of a large wooden circle, tiny little wooden pieces lay scattered all over the floor.
"Wo, what happened here?" I asked
"What? o, er……nothing" she smiled
I guess staying at Harry's last night had been a good idea. They had ruined what once had been a beautiful table. Now where was I going to eat my coco pops?
I swallowed the paracetomal with the help of a bit of water and watched Dougie as he shrugged and sat down on the floor. He finished his cereal within 5 mouthfuls, he got up and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
"Right, I'm gonna go watch TV, wanna join?" He asked me, standing up and dumping his bowl in the kitchen sink before heading to the living room.
"Yer just hang on a sec, I'm gonna go get some clothes on" he nodded and turned the TV on.
I slowly walked back upstairs because my head was still pounding and I felt really dizzy. I didn't particularly want to fall up the stairs. I walked into Danny's room and glanced at him. He was still asleep, he still looked gorgeous. I walked up to him and kissed him.
"I love you" I whispered and rubbed my nose up against his.
I put on a pair of his boxers and shirts. I loved wearing his clothes; they were so comfortable and just hung loosely of me, perfect for lounging around in. Once again I watched him for a bit before walking downstairs back to the living room. Dougie was lying across the sofa but moved his legs when he saw me. I sat down beside him and put my legs across his lap. Even though we'd slept together I didn't feel uncomfortable around him, he was still one of my best mates and I acted exactly the same around him.
He drummed his hands on my legs and I looked at the television. MTV was on as per usual, I rested my head against the side of the sofa and listened to the familiar sound of the programmes which Dougie loved to watch day in day out. The feeling of Dougie's hands gently hitting my leg disappeared and I soon fell asleep. MTV had obviously entered my brain because I dreamt about Dougie doing an episode of cribs. This house…on cribs? Somehow I don't think so.
When I woke Dougie was gone, The TV was off and a blanket had been placed over me. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. My headache had died down slightly but I could still feel it there. I glanced at the table and saw a note. It was from Dougie. I read what it said.
Hope you had a nice sleep.
I've gone out…..table shopping. You owe me one.
Danny's still sleeping, lazy dickhead.
Anyways see you later
I laughed to myself, I guess I'll have to pay him back for the table. But to be fair, It was just as much Danny's fault as mine. O well, it was all worth it in the end. I smiled as I remembered moments from last night. I pulled the blanket of me and stood up. Dizziness took over and I stood for a moment trying to balance myself. I made sure I was alright before heading to the kitchen for some water. I entered the kitchen and was hit by the familiar scent of coffee. I gagged, god, being hung over is so not fun.
I walked over to the tap and poured myself some water but before I had the time to take a sip pain gripped my stomach and I had to hold onto the side to stop myself from falling over. What the fuck? Must have just been from all the alcohol. I took a sip and was struck again by pain throughout my stomach, this time it was far worse and I couldn't stop myself from falling. I collapsed onto the kitchen floor and clutched at my stomach. The pain was searing through me and I could barely breathe.
I screamed and called out for Danny. The pain wasn't stopping and I screamed out for Danny again. I heard thundering footsteps coming down the stairs and then saw him run into the kitchen.
I couldn't even speak, just lay there clutching my stomach and crying out in pain. What was wrong with me? He could obviously see there was something seriously wrong because he ran out of the room and I could hear him calling for an ambulance. He rushed back into the room and over to me. He skidded to a halt beside me and sat down. He sat there, in just his boxers, cradling me in his arms while I screamed and cried out in pain. My vision went blurry and Danny was doubling.
"It's ok baby, the ambulance is on it's way, your gonna be ok, I promise"
His voice sounded distant and faint. I gasped for breath and clutched my stomach one last time before everything went black.
I woke up with a start and sat bolt upright. Everything was silent downstairs and then I heard a scream of my name come from downstairs.
"Louise!" I gasped.
I jumped out of bed and pulled on some boxers. Yanking the door open I bolted downstairs and into the kitchen. I looked around wildly until I saw Louise lying on the floor writhing around in pain. She was clutching her stomach, crying and screaming.
"Louise…what…what happened?" I didn't wait for an answer, instead I ran out into the hallway and dialled 999.
"Its my...my girlfriend…she's…there's something wrong…..just come…hurry up."
I gave the address before dropping the phone and running back to where Louise was. I sat down beside her and took her in my arms. She was still clutching her stomach and as I looked down to the floor I saw speckles of blood. What the hell? I stroked her hair and kissed her head, desperately trying to calm her down. She gasped for breath and clutched her stomach and suddenly she went limp in my arms. I shook her gently trying to wake her but she was unconscious. I was so scared and I could feel tears forming in my eyes. I heard a loud knock in at the door.
"COME IN! QUICK WE'RE IN THE KITCHEN!" I shouted and two paramedics burst into the room.
They rushed over to Louise and I backed away. They were saying things that I didn't understand, asking me questions I didn't know the answer to like "when did she start to feel the pains?", "when did she start bleeding?" and "how long had she been unconscious for?" it just made me more and more worried and I couldn't take it. I looked down at myself and realised I was only in my boxers, I wanted to go in the ambulance with Louise so I raced upstairs, shoved some clothes on and ran back down again. By this time Louise was lying on a stretcher and the two paramedics were taking her out to the ambulance. I followed, locking the door behind me and got in to the back with Louise.
After arriving at the hospital they had rushed Louise somewhere and left me stranded in reception with no clue what was going on. At least an hour had past now and I still hadn't been told a thing. I'd called the guys and they'd said they were on there way and now I was just sitting here with a cold cup of coffee…..waiting.
Well, table shopping had turned into a complete nightmare. I had been happily walking around town feeling rather refreshed after my breakfast when suddenly Tom had come running after me speaking about Louise being taken to hospital. I was terrified, what had happened? No-one had any idea, apparently Danny had phoned from the hospital and he himself had no idea what was wrong with her.
So we were now on our way to the hospital, Tom, Me, Harry and Carrie all in Tom's mini speeding down the motorway. I was sitting next to Carrie who looked awfully worried. I put my arm round her shoulder and told her everything was going to be alright. She didn't answer, just sat here, staring out the front.
"Tom! Dude! Can't this piece of shit go any faster?" I said angrily.
"It's going as fast as it can! Louise is already in hospital I don't want the rest of us to end up there as well!"
Suddenly Carrie burst into tears and we all looked at her. Even Tom took his eyes of the road to turn round and stare at his sister.
"Stop arguing!" she cried "My best friend is in hospital and all you can do is argue! Stop it guys…just stop it"
I pulled her towards me and hugged her. She cried into my shoulder for a bit and then calmed down. We all apologized and soon enough we were drawing up to the hospital entrance, before the car had even stopped both me and Carrie leapt out of the car and through the revolving doors.
"Danny!" I started shouting down the corridors, frantically looking through windows and doors when suddenly I was stopped by a nurse holding a clipboard.
"Excuse me? Could you please lower your voice, we have patients trying to sleep in here" she said in a stern voice.
"Sorry, sorry it's just that…our friend…she was bought in earlier. She's called Louise. Louise Winter"
The nurse looked down at her clipboard and nodded. "Yes, you'd better come with me."
I looked at Carrie who looked completely and utterly terrified. I took her hand in mine and we started to walk down the corridor. I heard running footsteps down the corridor and looked behind to see Tom and Harry just behind us.
After what seemed like an eternity we turned a corner and saw Danny sitting on a chair holding a cup in his hand. I released my hand from Dougie's and ran up to him. He stood up as he saw me and we hugged.
"How is she?" I asked pulling away and staring into the room that he was sat outside.
"I don't know" he told me, his voice trembled but he continued explaining "they've only just taken her in there. No-one's told me what's wrong with her. She was in pain and…she was bleeding and…she collapsed and I didn't know what to do."
He was speaking so fast and by now tears were leaking down his face. I couldn't stand to see any guys upset let alone Danny. It just didn't seem right. He was normally such a happy excitable guy and now this had happened and it seemed like his whole world had come crumbling down. He sat back down and I walked up towards the door where Louise had been taken. I could see her lying motionless on a bed, doctors surrounding her, attaching wires to her and taking notes. It was horrible.
I sat next to Danny and the others soon joined us. Danny had his head in his hands the others were just sitting there, twiddling there fingers and waiting for something to happen. Doctors kept walking past us not even giving us once glance or one piece of information to put our minds at rest. I don't know how long we'd been waiting but it had been long enough. I stood up and walked towards the door.
"Carrie?" I heard Tom ask.
I ignored him and pushed my way through the door. All the doctors looked up at me and I started to speak.
"Look, me and my friends have been waiting out there for ages now! We don't know what's wrong with her and no-ones bothered to tell us anything. Her boyfriend is sitting out there worried sick after finding her on the floor of his kitchen bleeding and crying out in pain! So are you going to tell us what's wrong with her or not?" I was getting angrier by the second.
No-one answered me and then a single doctor stepped forwards. "Miss Winter will wake shortly. Until then we need you to wait outside."
I sighed and reluctantly walked out. The others looked up at me hopefully but I just shook my head and sat back down. I was getting agitated. My best mate was in there, and I didn't know what was wrong with her. I was sick with worry.
For fuck sake. Why can't they just tell me what's wrong with her? I want to be in there with her, kiss her, tell her everything's going to be alright. I wanted to go in and ask them what was wrong but they'd already refused to tell Carrie something so what difference was I going to make? I couldn't just sit here and wait here any longer.
"Im going to get a coffee" I told the others.
"I'll come with you" Harry answered getting up.
"No!" I said forcefully "I want to be on my own."
He sat back down and I slowly walked down the corridor. I passed so many rooms, filled with people all crowded round beds, crying and looking worried. This just made me feel worse, I couldn't help but imagine what could happen to Louise. What if something serious had happened and she never recovered?
I couldn't figure out what was wrong with her. We had so much fun last night and now she was in hospital. I just don't see how it worked. She'd given no signs of feeling ill or anything. I tried to forget about the worst scenarios that could happen but when I was surrounded by weeping people and others attached to machines it was hard.
I reached the coffee machine but before I had a chance to decide what I wanted I heard my name being called.
"Danny!" I turned round and saw Tom running towards me. "She's awake!" he panted.
I dropped my plastic cup and sprinted down the hall, running round corners I bumped into people and almost fell over more than once but I didn't care, all I wanted to do was see my girl. I reached the door and looked in to see everyone crowded round her bed. I burst my way through the door and ran up to her. She smiled at me and I ran up to her, embraced her in my arms and kissed her.
"Baby, are you alright? You had me so worried. I was terrified!" I said to her with her still in my arms.
"Danny. I didn't think you were here. I'm fine. Calm down. I'm going to be ok. At least, I think I am."
"What do you mean you think you are?" I questioned.
"Well they haven't actually told me what was wrong" she answered.
I sat down on the bed next to her and she looked up at me. I was confused. I thought they would have told her what was wrong with her after her being in here for so long. I called to the Doctor.
"Hey, we've been waiting for ages and Louise has been unconscious for hours. Are you going to tell us what was wrong with her?"
The doctor walked calmly up to us. "Miss Winter it might be best if maybe just Mr Jones stayed with you" he said but Louise shook her head. She looked worried now.
"No, no, I, I want them to hear. What's wrong with me?"
"This may be a bit upsetting for you but-" he paused.
"O for god sake will you just tell us" I said impatiently.
He looked at us and sighed.
"Miss Winter I'm afraid you have had a miscarriage."
I guess the Doctors had told them I was awake because about 2 minutes later Carrie, Harry and Dougie all bombarded there way into the room. I was engulfed in hugs and was smothered by everyone. They all let go of me and I looked around.
"Where's Danny?" I asked
"Tom's gone to find him" Harry replied looking towards the door
He better hurry up. I thought to myself. I need a hug, and as if he had read my mind Danny burst through the door and ran over to me embracing me into a tight hug that I never wanted to release myself from. I breathed in his scent and held him close. He kissed my head and pulled away.
"Baby, are you alright? You had me so worried. I was terrified!" he said looking it me with worried eyes.
"Danny. I didn't think you were here. I'm fine. Calm down. I'm going to be ok. At least, I think I am."
Hang on…why didn't I know what was wrong with me? Surely they should have told me. O dear…Danny's annoyed….calm him down. I told him about not being told and he went up to the doctor and asked them. He stood there and the doctor turned round, slowly and looking concerned he told me that I might want everyone to go out of the room.
"No, no, I, I want them to hear. What's wrong with me?"
God, this was quite worrying and now he was telling me that it was upsetting. O god…what's wrong with me? O and now Danny's getting annoyed. He had his arm around my shoulder and his grip on me was tightening. He was getting annoyed. Now he's yelling at the doctor, he's so impatient. Louise! Snap back to reality…he's about to tell you.
"Miss Winter I'm afraid you have had a miscarriage."
Im sorry? Did I hear that correctly? Misscarriage?
"Miss Winter have you had any incidents with alcohol the past few days?"
"Erm yeah last night –"
I was cut of by Danny who had suddenly figured out what a miscarriage was.
"Wait…you were pregnant?" he said turning to me "but…we only…last night…it was our first so, you've only been pregnant for a night?"
The doctor gave a slight laugh and we all turned to him.
"That's quite impossible. Miscarriages do not occur that early into the pregnancy and the results from the tests we took show that Miss Winter had been pregnant a month before the incident last night"
I almost fell out of my bed. A month? O shit…that meant that…but no…we had used…o fuck.
Danny turned to me.
"A month? But last night was our first…Louise? What's going on?"
I glanced at Dougie who was looking at the floor and then at everyone in the room.
"Erm, can me and Danny have a word….in private?" I said and everyone nodded and walked out of the room including Dougie who gave me a quick 'please don't tell him' look before walking out the door.
Danny watched them all walk out and then walked towards my bed and sat down on the end.
"Danny, you love me don't you?" I asked.
"Until the sun has shone its last rays."
Oh my God that was cute. Cheesy, but cute. This is gonna be harder than I thought.
I sighed. "I've got something to tell you" I said not looking at him, but instead at his hand which was placed on top of my bed sheets. He took my hand and kissed it.
"Danny remember the night we had the argument?"
"How could I forget? worst night of my life." He said. Well today could possibly replace that night I thought to myself. Oh God how was I going to tell him?
"Well I was really upset and just after you left, Dougie turned up. I was crying and he comforted me and then he…well he kissed me.
"What!?" Danny asked looking up.
"Let me finish" I said and he quietened down "at first I pulled away but then he kissed me again but this time I didn't pull away." I quickened my pace "we carried on kissing and as the night got deeper so did we. Our actions furthered and the next thing I knew I was waking up in his bed" I didn't give him a chance to speak but instead quickened my pace even more "Danny you have to understand that it didn't mean anything! I was just upset……Danny, please don't hate me"
He wasn't saying anything, just sitting there. "Danny" I asked and all of a sudden he snapped.
"You fucking bitch" he shouted standing up and I drew back "how could you do this to me?"
I was breathing heavily and I could feel anger rising in the pit of my stomach. I clenched my fists, it was the only thing I could do to stop myself from screaming at her. Bitch. How could she do this to me? After all we'd been through.
We were just staring at each other. She looked frightened, I'd obviously shocked her when I shouted but at this particular moment in time I couldn't care less. I didn't want to do anything I'd later regret so I shook my head and turned to walk out the door.
"Danny wait!" she shouted
I turned my head slightly to see Louise ripping the wires she had in her arms out and jumping out of bed. Two nurses came running up to her trying to get her back in bed but she refused and when they refused to stop she ended up screaming at them.
"Just GET OUT!" I heard her scream at them and they ran past me and out the doors muttering something about security.
She grabbed my arm and I spun round "Danny please…I need you…can't we just forget this?"
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I pulled my arm from her grip. "Forget? No Louise we cannot forget the fact that you slept with my best friend and got pregnant with his kid and forgot to tell me about it" I said once again turning and heading for the door.
"Danny please! It didn't mean anything…I was upset and I needed comforting"
"Yer you needed comforting you didn't need to shag the first person who you bumped into you little slag"
The anger in me was getting stronger and I could see she was biting back tears, trying to get me to feel sorry for her. Tough shit, I wasn't gonna. She'd done this to me. It was her fault. Stupid Bitch.
"Danny…don't do this" she walked up to me and tried to put her arms round my neck but I grabbed hold of her wrists and forced her backwards. She staggered and fell against the bed. I heard doors bang open and turned round to see Dougie storm in.
"What the fuck do you think your doing? Leave her alone!"
The anger was getting too much now and I couldn't hold it in any longer. He was heading towards Louise but before he had the chance to reach her I grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him round. I punched him in the nose and he was the next to stagger backwards, clutching his face in his hands, swearing and bleeding everywhere. I felt two tight grips around each of my upper arms and turned to see two well built security guards take hold of me and drag me out of the room.
"Danny….no!" I heard Louise shout
"Just fuck of Louise! I want nothing to do with you anymore!" I yelled back to her whilst being dragged down the corridor by these two men. I released myself from their grip and stormed down the corridor and out of the entrance. I knew I'd do something I'd regret.
Fuck that hurt. Bloody hell he's got a powerful arm. Ouch.
"Dougie, Dougie are you alright?" I heard and looked up to see Louise
Tears were streaming down her face and she was clutching one of her wrists where Danny had grabbed her.
"I'm fine" I told her wiping the blood from my face "what about you? That was a pretty forceful grip and push" I said and took her wrist in my hand. It was red and swollen.
"I had no idea he could be that…that…angry and violent" she said shaking
"Yer me neither" I told her still examining her wrist
Suddenly all the others plus nurses burst through the doors and over to us, the nurses fussing over Louise and the guys over me. Carrie rushed over to Louise and started pressing what had happened.
"Look, if I'm going to tell Carrie, I might as well tell all of you" sobbed Louise who had now been taken back to her bed and was now being re-attached to all the machines she had previously ripped herself away from.
I stood next to her as she explained all about the argument and about that passionate night we had spent together. Nobody interrupted and they all listened intently. She left no detail out and told them everything there was to tell. When she had finished no-one said anything. We all just stood there in silence. Tears were still rolling silently down Louise's cheeks and everyone watched her as she wiped them away and tried desperately to stop crying.
"That's some serious shit you got happening there. No wonder Danny was mad" Harry said
"Look" I started "I know what I've…we've done is wrong but.."
"No shit!" Carrie suddenly blurted out and I stared at her "Louise at the beginning of this relationship with Danny I distinctly remember you saying 'I love him so much, I'd never do anything to hurt him. He's my world' what was that? A lie? A joke? He loves you Louise…does that mean nothing to you?" she stopped talking and walked out of the room.
I started to get out of bed to go and talk to her but Tom stopped me.
"No. You need to rest and get your wrist seen too. I'll go talk to her"
I managed to get out a small "thanks" before starting to cry again.
What a fantastic day this had been. I'd lost a baby which I didn't even know about, I'd lost my boyfriend who I loved more than anything in this world, and now I'd lost my best friend as well.
Storming out of the room I realised that what I'd just said had probably upset her even more but it was her own fault. If only she'd seen what I saw in Danny's eyes as he'd rushed out of that room, anger, pain but most of all, love. He loved her so much and she'd just taken advantage of that. I heard a familiar voice behind me and turned to see Tom walking behind me.
"Carrieee" he was chanting.
"What?" I snapped, not in the mood for his silly antics to get me talking.
"Will you please go and-"
I cut him off, knowing exactly what he was going to say "no I bloody well won't go and talk to her!"
"Calm down, I was only gonna say will you please go and get me a coffee" he laughed.
I hit him. "For god sake Tom. Shut up!" I said trying to sound annoyed but ended up smiling and letting out a small laugh.
"Seriously Carrie. Please go and talk to her. She's just lost a baby, she needs a friend."
"She's got Dougie" I told him folding my arms, he looked at me in that 'dougie?' look.
"Ok then, Harry!" I added and he kept the same face on. "O fine then!" I said and walked back into the room. "Everyone out. Including you Dougie" I told them.
They all shuffled out leaving me and Louise alone in the room. She looked up but didn't say anything. I walked over to where her paper work was and picked it up pretending to read.
"Carrie, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt anyone." She said.
"Well you did."
"I know and I'm really, really sorry. I know Danny hates me but please, please don't leave me on my own because I really need a friend right now and I just don't know what I'll do without you" by this time she was trying to hold back tears.
I sighed and walked over to her. "I know you didn't mean to" I said hugging her and she sobbed into my shoulder "I don't hate you, but Louise…" I said pulling away "promise me that it was only once, promise me that it was a one off and it never happened again."
She nodded "Once. That's all. Once" she said quietly.
Ok so that was me and Carrie fixed. Now the only person I had to worry about was Danny. I needed to speak to him and as soon as possible. I love him so much, I really don't want this relationship to be over.
"Carrie, could you do me a huge favour please?"
"What is it?"
"Would you be able to go and talk to Danny? Like get him to come in here? I really need to talk to him." I thought that if I asked Carrie there would be more of a chance that Danny would come back. After all, he and Carrie had been close for a pretty long time. She might be able to talk him round.
"I'll try. I'm not promising anything though. Danny can be pretty stubborn at times."
I laughed "Yer I know" I said remembering back to the time when Danny refused to throw his jeans away even though he never wore them and they had a huge hole in the bum. Then he went into town with me wearing them. O dear, the looks we got from people.
I felt tears fall down my cheeks as I remembered all the good times we'd spent together. Our first meeting, our first date, our first kiss.
"Louise….I'll make him come. Even if it kills me" Carrie told me hugging me.
"Thank you. You really are an amazing friend and I'm lucky to have you."
The days past and still there was no sign of Danny. I had visits from everyone except him. Carrie had come to see me yesterday and told me that she had been speaking to him and she thought that she was finally getting to him. I was hoping that today would be the day I'd see him walk through those doors. Just as I was thinking this the doors swung open and I saw Carrie walk in. I looked at her, my eyes full of hope and she looked at me a bit before shaking her head. I buried my head in my hands.
"Lou, please don't cry" Carrie said.
I looked up. "I'm not crying. Im angry. He's being such a wanker. Why can't he at least talk to me?" I asked.
"I told you he was stubborn. Even Tom's had words and you know how persuasive Tom can get" she told me and I nodded.
"Yer I spose. And…I guess after what I did it's understandable that he never wants to speak to me again, its just that, I love him so much."
"I know you do" she said sitting next to me.
"Listen, I get out of hospital next Tuesday, can Tom pick me up and take me straight to Danny's?" I asked.
"Yer suuuure he could" she said slowly "if they weren't going on tour tomorrow."
"Tomorrow? Seriously? Fuck. I forgot about that." I said.
Now how was I going to speak to him? He'll be on the road for the next couple of months leaving me no chance to meet up with him and have a little chat without the others around. I suppose I could phone him but he'd never answer and I'd rather sort this out face to face.
"You could talk to him in Cambridge" Carrie suggested.
It took me a while to figure out what she was on about but then I remembered. I had tickets for an upcoming concert of theirs in Cambridge. Danny had bought me two tickets so that I could take a friend back in Cambridge. He'd paid for travel down there, a room in the most expensive hotel and travel back to London.
"Yer, I will. Apart from will he actually speak to me? I mean, he won't let me backstage or anything" I told her.
"Don't worry. I'm going to that concert as well so if he doesn't let you in, I will and then you can just follow him round until he gives in and talks to you" she laughed.
"Good idea" I smiled.
I hadn't visited Louise in five days, ever since she'd told me about her and Dougie, and I didn't plan to visit her either. That may sound harsh but after what she did I don't think I can speak to her.
Preparing for tour is enough stress without talking to her about it. Especially when I've got to go on tour with Dougie. I've been speaking to him but not much. Only when I need to. I gave him one hell of a black eye, I don't think the fans will be impressed. I've already seen bulletins going round about it on myspace. I don't think anyone knows what's actually happened though. Loads of people have been saying different stuff. I signed in the other day to see one saying:
Is it true that Dougie has a black eye because at a concert their bodyguards punched Dougie because they thought he was a member of the paparazzi?
The rumours that go round about us are so stupid but I can't be bothered to tell them what happened. Plus, I don't really want our personal lives being spread all over the net.
Carrie's been trying to persuade me to talk to Louise but I just refuse. I've even had Tom trying to talk me into it. There both rather persuasive but I refuse to give in. I mean, if I wanted to speak to her I would, but I don't want to.
I can't exactly not speak to Dougie, I mean, he's a member of the band so if I didn't talk to him it would be a pretty shit tour. We spend basically each and everyday together in one tour bus. I expect Harry and Tom would find it very uncomfortable if they had to spend two months with people who weren't talking.
Just then the phone rang and Dougie went to answer it.
"Hello? O hey Carrie" he said "O yer, er I'll just get him."
He walked over to me and handed me the phone. I sighed and took it of him.
"Hmm I wonder what you want" I said sarcastically down the phone.
"Danny shut up." She said back. "Look, I know your busy with tour stuff and all but please come and talk to Louise tonight. She really wants to make things right with you" she pleaded.
"Well maybe I don't want to make things right with her" I snapped back.
"Stop being such a baby and get your arse down here now!" she said forcefully.
"Tooom! Your sisters harassing me down the phone" I called to the kitchen and I heard a slight 'good' being called back. Well that helped.
"I can't. Fletch wants us all to go to the studio for one of his pre-tour prep talks and if I don't turn up he won't be happy" I told her apologetically.
"Ooook then, well, when's your Cambridge gig?"
"Erm, about 11 dates into the tour. Why?" I asked, confused.
"God Danny, bad memory or what? You bought Louise tickets for it, and you paid for her travel, hotel and everything!" she reminded me.
"O yer." I had completely forgotten about that.
Crap. She was staying the same hotel as me as well. That's going to be one hell of an interesting night. I wonder if we'll bump into her, what should I say if I do? I can't remember if I told the others she was staying the same hotel as me. I'll have to keep her and Dougie separate. That sounds harsh but I don't want anything happening.
Ah, Carries still talking to me.
"Sorry what?" I said
"I said, if you see her talk to her and tell her you're sorry!"
"What!?" I couldn't believe that "why should I apologize? She's the one that fucked my best mate and then didn't tell me!"
"Yes and she's apologized over and over, she's cried all she can, she's upset, depressed and in love…..with you. And you're being too much of a wanker to see the truth!"
I didn't get any time to answer because she hung up on me. I thought over what she had said. Maybe I had been a bit of a dickhead, I mean, I'd gotten really angry at the hospital and probably hurt her, I'd given Dougie a black eye and I'd told the girl that I loved that I never want to speak to her again. Carrie was right, I'd been a complete wanker.
Just then Dougie bounced into the kitchen and grabbed a biscuit. I watched him and as he turned round he noticed me staring and stopped eating his biscuit.
"What?" he asked.
"Erm, sorry about that" I said pointing at his eye.
He gave me a strange look before saying "it's ok" and wandering back into the living room.
See, I was already correcting my mistakes.
Danny was being really nice to me and I have no idea why. I mean, first of all he absolutely hates me, punches me and refuses to talk to me and then he apologizes for the black eye and starts talking to me all the time again. I mean, the other night he took me out for a beer. Not the other guys, just me. I'm scared. He's not normally this nice. It's quite worrying.
We're 9 dates into the tour now and so far everything's going fantastic. We've just finished our 10th show and the crowd were awesome. I can still feel the adrenalin rushing through me. We'd all agreed to go back to our rooms, shower, and then meet at the bar. Upon entering my room I put Blink 182 on and turned it up full blast. I jumped around the room for a bit, eating the complimentary chocolates and messing up the bed by jumping up and down on it doing my best air guitar movements before finally undressing and getting into the shower.
As the warm water ran over me I thought back to the show. I'd only mucked up in one song, Star Girl, and I think it went un-noticed, thank god. We were playing at smaller venues to start with and this one wasn't big at all. Was one of the smallest, I love the smaller venues; you can see everyone, its more upfront and a bigger thrill. The best part is that you can actually hear everyone singing along and it's amazing. Going on tour is definitely the highlight of being in a band.
I got out of the shower and got dressed. I made sure I had my door key before leaving the room and then headed downstairs. I'd locked myself out of my room far too many times lately. Wasn't fun. I entered the bar and saw the other guys already sitting having a drink. I wandered over to them and sat beside them. Without asking and almost immediately after sitting down, a beer was thrust into my hand and I was greeted by the other guys.
"Took your time Doug" Harry said.
"Yer, sorry. Couldn't find my key" I informed them.
"Again" Danny chimed in and they all laughed.
2 hours later and we were still in the bar. Was about 11 but I couldn't be arsed to go back to my room. I was having a laugh with the guys and I was enjoying the drinks. The management was paying so why not take advantage?
I think Danny had had a bit too much to drink; he was making no sense at all and falling over the bar. Out of the corner of my eye I could see him waving his arms about and as I turned round to look at him I noticed he was trying to get my attention. I moved my arms in a 'what?' movement and he started pointing to a table the other side of the bar where 3 girls sat. They were all watching Danny, laughing apart from one who I could see staring at me. She had short blonde hair and a slim figure. As my eyes moved over her she smiled shyly and circled the top of her wine glass with her finger.
"She wants you Doug!!" I suddenly heard Danny shout and all 3 girls including the one staring at me started giggling. She was hot. I smiled back to her before turning back to the bar and ordering another beer. When I turned back round she was slowly walking towards me. I pretended not to notice and took a sip of my drink.
Next thing I knew she was standing there, next to me. She wasn't saying anything, just standing there.
I turned to her, "Hey" I said. I actually felt quite nervous. What was with me?
She smiled. One of the sweetest smiles I've seen. "Hey" she replied.
Conversation starter!? Conversation starter!? What could I say? "What brings you here?" Oh crap. Was that the best I could do!? Isn't it obvious? She needs somewhere to stay, so hey guess what, she'll stay in a hotel. What an idiot you are Dougie.
"Visiting a friend up here" she told me sipping on her drink.
Well say something. "Wicked" Is that seriously all you can come up with? O for god sake Dougie, pull yourself together. "So, can I get you another drink?" I asked. That's better.
"That would be nice" she said smiling.
So I bought her a drink and we got chatting. Her name was Sophieee, yes she told me that she always spelt her name with three e's. Strange…but cute. She was 18 and had been staying here for week now and was due to leave tomorrow. We spoke for about an hour, ignoring the comments being thrown at us by Danny who was now so more pissed than he was earlier.
"Do you wanna get out of here?" I suggested and she nodded. I took her hand and led her out of the bar and down towards the elevator. It binged and the doors opened, we walked in and stood in the corner, hand in hand. She was one of those girls that did things when you least expect it, I figured this out because all of a sudden she pushed me up against the elevator wall, moved her leg up mine and kissed me hard and forcefully. It took me by surprise but after a few short seconds I got used to it and returned the kiss. Her lips were soft and the kiss carried on for a fair few minutes before we heard the elevator doors open and pulled away to see 2 old women standing outside just staring at us. It must have been an odd site, her leg was halfway up mine, her hands running all over me and I was halfway through running my fingers through her hair.
"Sorry" Sophieee said giggling and lowered her leg.
Once again we stood hand in hand just waiting for the lift to stop at my floor. It eventually did and we stumbled out laughing. She kissed me again and pulled away.
"Coming to my room?" I asked already knowing the answer.
"Maybe" she said biting her lip.
"Fine then, I guess that's a no then, I'll just go back to it alone" I said and started walking away.
I suddenly felt a weight on my back and noticed that she had jumped onto it. I put my hands under her legs and gave her a piggy back down the hall.
"Maybe I won't" I said whilst she kissed my neck.
I fumbled with my door card and after several attempts it finally let us in. We entered and without turning the light on got straight into the action. God this girl was energetic, she pushed me towards the bed and I fell on top of it, I managed to make her shape out in the darkness pulling her own top of. She reached me and I sat myself up and placed my hands on her bare hips. She placed her legs either side of me and sat on my lap kissing me whilst lifting my shirt off. I moved my hands round her back and lay down. We both lay there, shirtless, kissing and having fun. She moved her hands slowly downwards and as she did it reminded me of an event, back at my flat, not so long ago.
Well, Dougie seemed to be enjoying himself with that girl. They'd been talking for agessss!
"Doug! Doug! You got a right fittie there!" I shouted over to the bar.
He didn't turn around or say anything to me just carried on talking to her. O, o, o they're off, wonder where there going eh?
"Don't keep him awake too late love! He's got a gig tomorrow!" I shouted.
"Danny shut up!" Tom said to me.
I turned round and stared at him. I gave him my evil look and then turned away.
"Im getting another beer" I told them before heading to the bar.
"Nope im fine I'll just have-" My sentence was cut short as I fell over a chair, hitting my head on a table and landing face down on the floor.
"Ouch" I said getting up.
I turned to see Harry and Tom in hysterics.
"Yer Danny" Tom said in between laughs, "your fine"
Ignoring them I carried on over to the bar and ordered another beer. I knew that I was drunk and the guys just thought I was doing it for fun but I honestly wasn't. Drinking was the only thing that could take my mind of tomorrow. I'd been dreading tomorrow for the whole tour and now it was so close I could almost touch it. The Cambridge gig, the gig in which Louise was going too. This could be the first time I see her in weeks. I was nervous and worried. I still loved her and if I ran into her or saw her at some point I won't know what to do.
I couldn't be bothered to hold grudges anymore. Carrie had made me realise what an arsehole I'd been and although it was Dougie and Louise who had participated in the act of cheating it was me who didn't believe them when they said it didn't mean anything. I remembered the night at the hospital, I'd hurt her and I couldn't bare it. My beer came and I downed most of it in one. I guess I was just drowning my sorrows in alcohol, not the best idea of mine but it helped. I wanted her back, to hold in my arms, to kiss. I'd probably screwed it all up, now she'd never take me back.
I put my head on the bar and only looked up when I saw two people sit either of me. Harry and Tom had decided to join me.
"You alright mate?" Harry asked sounding concerned.
I gave him no reply and he looked at Tom for help.
"Is it Louise?" Tom asked.
"I miss her" I said quietly and he nodded.
"I know you do Danny, but tomorrows Cambridge, you never know, you might see her" he answered trying to lift my hopes.
"I suppose, but what if she doesn't want me back?" I asked.
"Then you're gonna have to do a lot of begging" he said.
That was a lot of help. I suddenly felt a wave of depression and tiredness fall over me and I decided I'd had enough of drink for one night.
"Does someone wanna help me get back to my room?" I asked, knowing too well that if I tried getting back to my room on my own I'd end up sleeping in the corridor like last time.
They nodded and I jumped of my bar stool. Too quickly I think as I was overcome with dizziness and had to hold onto both Harry and Tom in order to keep my balance. They led me out of the bar and down the corridor. We took the lift up to our floor and then walked down to our room. All our rooms were near each other and as we walked past Dougie's we heard unimaginable and rather interesting noises coming from inside.
"Well I wonder what we'll be talking about on the tour bus tomorrow" I said sarcastically and both Tom and Harry laughed.
We reached my room and I searched my pockets for the door card, key, thing. I hate these card things. They never work. This time it did work though.
"It woooorked" I said giggling and Tom and Harry exchanged weird glances.
I opened the door and walked in. The first thing I noticed was the champagne that we'd been given for free and as I walked over towards it Harry darted in front of me and grabbed it of the table before I had the chance to touch it.
"Your not having any more alcohol!" he said to me.
"One beer? From the mini fridge! Pweeeease!?" I asked him.
"For god sake Danny, your completely slaughtered, we've got a gig tomorrow and your gonna be in a shit mood if your completely hung over so quit fucking drinking!" he said angrily and I just stared at him.
"God calm down!" I said and he sighed.
"I give up. He's hopeless when he's drunk" he said to Tom walking past me and towards the door.
"Danny" Tom said to me "just, get some sleep and don't get up too late, we've gotta be out of here by 11"
They both turned and walked out of my room, leaving me on my own. Already I was bored. My stomach turned and I rushed to the bathroom to throw up. Eurgh I need water now. I didn't want to go get water from the mini bar cos I know I'd end up getting a beer instead so I just drank out of the bathroom tap. Not the easiest thing to do when the sink's as small as a mouse but I tried and managed to get some. I walked back into the room and turned on the TV.
I jumped as something vibrated in my pocket and then realising it was my phone I calmed a bit. I took it out and saw that Harry had sent me a text.
You alryt now mate?
Sorry bout shouting earlier
Why is he apologizing for shouting? God he's such a girl.
I replied with a short and sweet message before then passing out on the bed.
Since I'd been out of hospital I'd had an extremely shit life. People at school had found out about Danny and I, and Dougie and I, and the baby. God knows how they found out but they did and I've had questions and bullshit about it every day. Carrie told me that everyone would get bored of it eventually but it'd had been going on for weeks now and it didn't seem to be dying down at all. It was upsetting for me to have to go through every single day being reminded of Danny. It was hard enough for me to forget all the times we'd spent together without everyone going on about it. It was even more upsetting when I had girls randomly coming up to me and asking me for backstage tickets to the gigs. I felt like screaming at them most days. It hurt so much that I'd even resorted to taking days of school, telling mum that I felt sick when I felt perfectly fine. Luckily we'd now broken up for half term and I was free from all hell at school for 2 weeks. Then again, half term, meant Cambridge concert, which also meant seeing Danny for the first time, in months.
I was actually quite scared, I don't know why I mean, if I run into Danny then I run into Danny. It's not like anything's going to happen. It's been over a month and he hasn't been in contact with me so if he wasn't going to bother then, what was to make me believe he would try at the concert?
I was travelling down with Carrie and she was due to arrive at mine about 3 because we needed to get down there and we wanted to beat traffic. When Danny had bought me the tickets he told me to take a friend back in Cambridge but because I thought I'd be with Danny, and seeing as none of my old friends knew about us, I decided not to take anyone, so basically, I was going to be alone at the concert. Luckily, I'd told Carrie about this a few days before and she'd managed to get Tom to get her a standing ticket so that she could stay with me. Thank god. I was not prepared to stand on my own, in front of Danny, just, watching him.
So here I was, packing for my weekend in Cambridge. It wasn't fun, normally when I was packing I'd play McFly to make me feel better but this time it was just making it worse so I substituted McFly to My Chemical Romance. Didn't exactly make any difference, I was still feeling down and I don't think anything could change that. I guess, deep down I was kind of hoping that I'd run into Danny, I mean after all, I still loved him and that wasn't going to change anytime soon.
I'd spoken to Dougie a few times, he'd told me that Danny seemed to have forgiven him which pissed me off greatly. I mean, if he could forgive Dougie why couldn't he forgive me? It's not like Dougie wasn't a part of it, it's not like he didn't know what was going on, he damn well knew what he was doing to Danny, and me for that matter. I had asked Dougie if Danny had said anything about me and it hurt when he said that he hadn't. Had he gotten over me? I hoped not, if he had I don't know what I'd do. It'd be all my fault and I wouldn't be able to change it. I was angry with myself at what I'd done. How could I have been so stupid? I don't blame Danny for not wanting me back, god I love that boy but, it's never gonna be the same is it? I've ruined everything!
I grabbed a top out of my wardrobe and headed over to my suitcase but I suddenly got a surge of anger inside me and I threw it across the room before breaking down into tears. I wanted Danny here, to hold me and tell me everything was going to be alright, I'd do anything to have him here with me. I suddenly heard a creak and I looked up quickly to see Carrie standing at my door.
"You alright honey? Your mum said I could come up" she asked caringly.
I wiped away my tears and continued to pack.
"Yer, yer im fine" I told her, throwing everything into my suitcase not bothering to fold them.
"You missing Danny?" She asked helping to pack.
"No!" I said sharply.
She stopped packing with me and gave me a worrying look.
"What?" I asked avoiding eye contact with her.
"It's alright to miss him you know" she told me.
"Carrie, you sound like he's dead."
She didn't answer and I eventually sighed and looked up.
"Ok so maybe I miss him a bit, but, what difference does that make? He hates me. There no way he's gonna take me back so I might as well just give up. Tonight's the last time I'm gonna see him."
"What do you mean?"
"After tonight, I'm just gonna leave him alone, there's no point in trying anymore, I've ruined everything."
She looked shocked.
"No Louise! You can't give up, I know that he still loves you, even if he hasn't contacted you or tried to show you, I know it. Please, Louise, just don't give up, Please"
I shook my head and put my last piece of clothing in my suitcase. I zipped it up and pulled it of my bed.
"Just drop it Carrie. I've made my decision."
It hurt so much to think that I was finally giving up. I felt like a failure, I'd never given up on anything in my life but this, this was just too hard to carry on. I dragged my suitcase downstairs and dumped it in our car. My mum was driving both me and Carrie down and dropping us of at the hotel. We didn't actually know how we were getting back to London yet though because originally the plan was for the guys to drop us back off but there was no way I was sitting in the same vehicle as Danny for a couple of hours. So I was going to have to try and persuade mum to come pick me up again. Should be fun.
I got into the car and Carrie got in the other side. She turned to me as if to say something but stopped and turned back to face the front. Mum started the car and the CD automatically started playing. Wonderland, fantabulous. Leaning forward I switched it off and replaced it by turning the radio on. O great, Star Girl, does everyone want to remind me of Danny or something?
"Lets just have the music and radio off" Mum said switching the radio off and glancing at me in the mirror.
I nodded and went back to staring out the window at the world outside. Here we go then, I thought, off to Cambridge. What fun was in store for me, I had no idea.
Well the journey down to Cambridge wasn't exactly what I'd call fun. It was silent apart from the rain tapping on the windows which had started shortly after we'd left London. Louise hadn't said anything and I could tell she was worried about the concert. I'd tried to talk to her about it a few times but every time she just looked at me in that 'not now' way and in the end I had given up trying to talk to her. So I had a rather boring car journey, I'd never been to Cambridge before so when we arrived I was a bit confused as I had no idea where we were going. I tell you what though, for a cold wet day it was bloody busy. There were people everywhere.
"That's the corn exchange" I suddenly heard Louise say and looking out her window I saw an endless queue of girls outside a rather small building. I couldn't believe how many of them were there. It felt so weird seeing them all queuing, waiting to see my brother and his mates on stage. I mean my brother! Mad girls.
We drove for another few minutes before finally arriving at the hotel. The car journey seemed to last hours. But that's probably because I spent the whole time looking out of the window, not talking.
We lugged our cases out of the car and after waving Louise's mum of headed for reception. I was dreading that there'd be loads of fans in there waiting for the guys to arrive but to my surprise there was none. Then again, there probably were, the boys arrived quite a while ago. I don't know how fans find out what hotel there staying in, they must have some secret source. Well whatever, I was just glad there weren't any here. We booked in and got our room keys.
"Ok so take the lift up to the fourth floor and your rooms are half way down the corridor" the receptionist told us.
"No room on the third floor then?" I asked laughing
The receptionist gave me a weird look and I glanced at Louise who was shaking her head.
"Freak" she said before laughing slightly and heading of towards the lift
"What?" I pestered "What?"
After wandering up and down the fourth floor corridor at least 3 times we finally found our rooms and unlocking them we wandered in.
"Wow, Danny got us good rooms!" I told her as I dumped my suitcase and sat on the bed.
"mmmm" was all Louise replied with
The rooms were huge, double beds, ensuite bathroom, stereo, tv, room service, great view. Shame we were only staying here for a weekend. I walked over to the window and stared out, outside there a huge patch of grass where people were either sitting and talking, sunbathing or running. It was nice and peaceful, equilibrium.
O, Tom told me to phone him when we arrived. Ill text him cause we were later than expected and he'll probably be rehearsing.
Got stuck in bit of traffic
When do you get out of rehearsals?
That'll do. I waited for a minute and then my phone went of, I went to look at it and saw that I had received a text from Tom.
Meet me at bar in hour.
Bring Louise, I won't tell Danny
He better not tell Danny. If he does he's dead meat, I don't particularly want Louise upset hours before the concert. I went and told Louise who was reluctant to come down but after minutes of pleading I finally managed to persuade her to.
We both had showers and changed our clothes before finally heading to the bar where we settled at a table and were joined by Tom a little why after.
"Hey, we're not staying here long, we're going to the concert soon, you're getting let in early"
We both looked at him confused.
"So that you can get into your little box thing without being bombarded"
"We don't want to stay in some box thing. We wanna stand" Louise told him
"Fair enough but you can still go in early"
We both shrugged and he got up. "Coming then?" he asked
We both stood up and started following him when all of a sudden Louise stopped.
"Wait! I've forgotten something. It's in my, my room I'll be two seconds"
She ran of down the hall, and left me confused. I had no idea what she'd forgotten. Tom and I waited for about 15 minutes until we saw Louise walking back down the corridor. She smiled as she approached.
"We going then?" she asked
Tom nodded and we wandered out of the hotel, Louise and I walked behind him.
"What did you forget?" I whispered to her
She pulled her sleeve up and on her wrist was the gorgeous bracelet that Danny had bought her for her birthday. She never went anywhere without it, obviously a sign of her feelings towards him, and his to her. We reached the front of the hotel and got into the back of tom's mini. We could have walked but Tom didn't want us getting mobbed. I didn't particularly want to get mobbed either so I happily obliged. It only took us about 2 minutes to get to the venue but when we did I saw why Tom didn't want to walk. There were actually hundreds of screaming girls outside. I shrunk into my seat as we passed them and Tom didn't look out the window but instead sped up and turned the corner sharp.
After parking we all jumped out of the car and into the venue. I immediately spotted the person I didn't want to, Danny, Louise hadn't spotted him so I pushed her in the opposite direction as quickly as I could. Tom stayed with us as we wandered down the corridor and stood in the hallway. We just stood there in silence for a bit and then suddenly a huge group of screaming girls came running over to me and Tom.
"Oh my god you're like Tom and Carrie!" one of them squealed as they approached us
Tom laughed and nodded and they screamed even more. I smiled at them and then looked towards Louise. The 3 girls followed my gaze and the smile at me faded to a scowl at Louise.
"Hey aren't you Danny's girlfriend?" one of them asked and Louise looked up
"EX girlfriend" another said putting emphasis on the word that Louise hated most about her and Danny's relationship.
The girls started giggling and whispering. I glanced over at Louise who had her head low and looked humiliated and ashamed. I walked over to her and put my arm round her shoulder.
One girl in the group who was obviously the leader hushed the others and started walking towards Louise.
"No wonder he dumped you, look at you, I bet you've slept with every guy you've come across you slag!"
"Who do you think you are?" I asked but before I could continue Tom had stepped in front of me and started to confront the girls himself.
"Excuse me but do you live this girl's life? Do you know what she's been through the past months and do you know what shit she's had from stupid girls like you?"
The girls looked shocked and I couldn't help but smile.
"Now I don't particularly want girls like you at a gig of mine and I'm sure the other guys wouldn't as well so get out. Just get out. Go home and leave her alone"
Tom was actually throwing fans out of a concert? That's a first.
"Tom, please, you don't have to do this, I'll go home" Louise told him taking his arm and pulling it backwards.
"No Louise, you don't have to put up with this" he said turning back to the bunch of girls.
"Just get out of here" he said shaking his head in disgust
They turned and walked of shouting rude remarks behind them before disappearing into the hall where many other girls were gathering to see the one and only McFly.
"Tom please! Just leave them alone. There right, I am a slag and I don't deserve Danny and there's no point in me being here!"
She started to walk towards the door and I ran after her.
"Louise you're staying! No question about it!"
Suddenly Harry came running down the corridor calling for Tom.
"Ok girls I gotta go but get your arses in there and Louise don't you dare leave and if those girls say anything then just tell that guy over there" he pointed to a security guard "and they'll be out, ok?"
"Thanks Tom" Louise said smiling and walked up to him and gave him a hug
He returned the hug before waving at both of us and heading of backstage. Both me and Louise entered the small hall and pushed our way near to the front. She kept trying to leave telling me it was for the best and that this way she wouldn't distract Danny and the concert would be better for everyone. I disagreed constantly and held her back when she tried to go. After about 15 minutes McFly's support band and it seemed pretty impossible for her to get out because she was too busy getting crushed by hundreds of girls.
The support band was pretty shit and I couldn't even remember there names. I'll have to tell Tom to pick a better one next time. After they'd gone of I turned to Louise who looked like a rabbit caught in the headlights. She looked terrified, worried and nervous. I couldn't imagine what she felt like right now.
"It'll be alright" I shouted over the noise
She looked and me before mouthing 'I hope so'.
We waited for what seemed like an eternity when suddenly all lights went down, the venue went silent and the faint beginning of 'I'll be ok' filled the room. Suddenly the room was filled with screams as the lights went up and Dougie, Danny and Tom ran onto stage with Harry sitting on the back drumming away furiously.
Tom was the first to spy us and without making it obvious to Danny he smiled. I smiled back and then glanced at Danny who was singing and looking forwards with no idea where abouts in the crowd we were, this all changed when Dougie noticed us and gave us a thumbs up, Danny saw him and his eyes shot to where we were standing. He stumbled on the words he was singing and had to glance again to make sure he had seen what he thought he had.
When he realised that it was in fact Louise that was in the audience I saw a slight smile flicker across his face, I turned to Louise, who was surrounded by a load of girls just jumping up and down screaming and she was standing right in the middle of them, just staring at Danny, emotionless just frozen, to the spot.
She came. She actually came. I didn't think she would, not after what happened. I was shocked, shocked enough to lose my place in my song and stumble backwards. However I soon regained my focus and carried on as normal. I couldn't help but glance at her every now and then and whenever I did I felt myself smile slightly and I didn't try and hide it.
She looked out of place, she was in the middle of a crowd of screaming girls and I kind of wanted to get her out of there. She didn't look happy and she didn't look like she wanted to be there. She just stood there staring at me and then stopped when Carrie started saying something to her. She shook her head and started looking around at everyone. For a moment I thought she was going to walk out but she didn't, she stayed where she was. I couldn't do anything, I couldn't speak to her or go up to her, I had to carry on with the show. I just hoped she would stick around after the show.
We were about half way through the set and she finally started to look like she was enjoying herself. Carrie had managed to get her to start singing along and occasionally dancing but she was avoiding eye contact with me and whenever our eyes did occasionally meet she looked away suddenly.
We finished playing for a second and Tom started to talk. I looked towards where Louise was standing but I couldn't see her. The girls in front of her were blocking my view of her, damn it, this was my only chance.
"Ok guys" Tom started "You all know our single the heart never lies?"
There was an eruption of screams and shouts throughout the hall as Tom continued.
"Well we're gonna play it for you now. Danny you ready?"
I looked over towards him and nodded. I had a plan. If I couldn't get through to Louise by talking to her then I could always try another way. The song started and everyone calmed down a bit. Banners were lowered and people stopped jumping. I could finally see Louise and as Tom came to the end of his bit and mine started I made sure I was looking at her. The music got louder and Harry began to drum and as he did I moved closer to the microphone and stared at Louise.
Some people fight, some people fall
I began and she looked up as she heard my voice. This time she didn't break eye contact. She stayed looking at me.
Others pretend they don't care at all
If you wanna fight I'll stand right beside you
I hoped this would show how much I cared for her and how much I wanted to forget the past and move on with our relationship.
The day that you fall I'll be right behind you
To pick up the pieces if you don't believe me
I watched her and as I sung these lines I saw a slight flicker in her eye as if she wanted to cry.
Then just look into my eyes, cos the heart never lies
She looked directly at me and it was as if it was the first time seeing her. Her eyes filled with tears and they started to spill down her cheeks. Had it got to her? Had she realised how much she meant to me?
O god. He was actually singing it to me, about us. As he got more into his part I felt tears prick at my eyes and I fought hard to hold them back. I didn't want him to see me cry. I looked down but could still feel his eyes fixed on me.
Then just look into my eyes, cos the heart never lies
I looked up and his electric blue eyes met mine and for a moment time stopped for me. I was overwhelmed with emotion and the tears that I had tried so hard to hold back flooded my eyes and spilled down my cheeks. He broke his gaze with me in time for his powerful vocal solo, it bought me back to reality and I realised I couldn't stay in that hall anymore. I had to get out and so without even telling Carrie I turned, I turned and I ran, ran through the crowd, towards the exit, pushing everyone out of the way. I couldn't breathe, tears were still spilling down my cheeks and I longed for the fresh air outside.
I suddenly heard a loud bang followed by screams of Danny's name being echoed across the hall. I didn't turn back, I carried on running, running until I reached the doors where I forced them open and tripped down the steps to the outside where I breathed in the fresh air. I stood for a minute, breathing heavily, crying, not caring how loud my sobs were or how awful I looked. Rain hit the pavement as I walked slowly down the road and soon enough it had drenched every inch of my body causing me to shiver. I wrapped my arms around myself and attempted to warm myself up but it didn't work. The street was dark and empty. Few street lamps lit my way and the rain and my tears were making my vision blurry so I had to squint to make out the pathway.
"You know, most people watch the weather before they go out without a coat in the middle of winter."
I sighed. "Danny, go away."
"I'm just saying, you look a bit cold…and wet."
Just hearing his voice made me worse and I felt more tears spill down my cheeks as I closed my eyes and felt more drops of rain land on me.
"What are you doing Danny?" I asked quietly. "You've got a show."
"I don't care."
"Well you should. Your fans and the guys are in there probably majorly pissed of with you right now and no doubt I'll get the blame for it all tomorrow."
"I don't care" he repeated. "I wanted to speak to you."
I shook my head and started walking away from him.
"Louise" he called "I just ran through a bunch of girls shouting 'Danny finger me like your guitar' to get to you. Please don't walk away from me.
I stopped again but still didn't turn round. I heard his feet splash in puddles and guessed he was walking closer.
"Ok Danny. What do you want?"
"I want to talk" he said gently.
"Then talk" I answered in a stern way.
I could barely make out what he was saying over the noise of the rain but I listened intently, not interrupting, not making a sound, just listening.
"That night, I, you, we both made mistakes. I mean, if I'd never accused you of cheating, what happened between you and Doug would have never happened. And although we can't change the past, we can't undo what's been done. We can forget it."
"Danny that's impossible."
"In love…and in dreams…nothing is impossible."
Now that was cute. Didn't think Danny could come up with such romantic stuff. Then again, I didn't think Danny wanted to speak to me ever again. I guess I didn't know a lot of stuff about him.
What the fuck was going on? One minute Danny had been perfectly happy, acting normal at his concert and the next he jumps into the crowd, basically knocking out a load of girls, pushes everyone out of the way and runs out of the venue. Fantastic, all the girls are screaming their heads of and trying to get out now, Thank god for security eh?
I looked into the crowd to see Carrie just as confused as me. I noticed Louise had gone and as I made eye contact with Carrie I gave her a quizzical look and she shrugged. She obviously also had no clue of what was going on. 'The heart never lies' had finished but no-one cared. They were too busy trying to get out the doors. It was quite an amusing sight actually. I looked to Tom and he began to walk over to me. He beckoned Carrie up onto the stage and she jumped over the barrier. I helped her up and she asked what was going on.
"No idea" I told her.
Tom reached us both and even Harry jumped down from his area to come and see what the hell was going on.
"Well" Tom said "Danny seems to have fucked this gig up doesn't he?" he looked around at us all.
"Guys, Louise never meant to ruin the gig, she, she said this would happen, I should have let her leave" Carrie told us all.
"No. No she had the right to stay. It's not her fault" Tom said.
"So, what we gonna do?" Harry chimed in.
"Well we can't carry on without Danny" I said handing my bass to some guy at the side of the stage.
"Guys where the fuck has Danny gone?" We suddenly heard and all 4 of us turned round to see Fletch staring angrily at us.
"Erm…we're not quite sure" I told him and he put his hands to his head and made an angry yet strange noise.
"God Calm down Fletch" Harry said to him "I'm sure Ryan would be more than happy to give you a massage to relieve your stress"
We all laughed and Fletch just looked at us and walked away.
"Anyways, what we gonna do about this?" Tom asked.
"Well, let's distract the crowd. I dunno Dougie can amuse them in someway and then we can just wait till Danny comes back…hopefully he will."
We all looked at each and nodded.
"Let's just hope he does come back" Carrie said before jumping back down into the crowd.
Now what was I gonna do to distract the crowd? God, they always leave it up to the stupid one.
She still had her back to me. I wish she'd just turn around so that I could talk to her properly. She'd told me to say what I wanted to say and I was trying to think of a way to put it.
"That night" I started to say, shouting over the beating pounds of the rain on the pavement "I, you, we both made mistakes. I mean, if I'd never accused you of cheating, what happened between you and Doug would have never happened. And although we can't change the past, we can't undo what's been done. We can forget it."
"Danny that's impossible" she told me and the perfect words formed in my head.
"In love…and in dreams…nothing is impossible."
She didn't say anything but I could have sworn that I heard a slight sob come from her. I started walking towards her and I saw her flinch slightly. What, was she scared of me now? I got to about a metre behind her and stopped again.
"Louise please, I know it'll be hard but can we please go back to the way we were?"
"Danny I thought you hated me!"
I was shocked at this and I rushed forward.
"Hate you? Hate you? How could I hate you?"
I rushed in front of her and put my hands on her shoulder, she looked away, down to the floor.
"Louise I love you!"
She didn't look up but continued to stare at the floor.
"After what happened?"
"No matter what happened and what may happen…I love you Louise…I love you so much!"
Dougie had been blabbering on about random crap for at least 15 minutes now and still there was no sign of Danny. Whatever he was telling Louise he better hurry up because I can see the guys getting worried. Dougie was running out of things to say and the fans were getting fidgety. They needed music to listen to, to jump up and down to, to scream to and the guys knew it.
Suddenly Tom rushed over to Dougie and whispered something to him. Dougie nodded and went and got his favourite bass. The red one that lit up.
"Ok guys, seeing as we have no idea where Danny is and we don't know how long he's going to be we're going to do something which we weren't originally planning to do. Who wants to hear Transylvania?"
The whole crowd erupted in screams and cheers. Yay, they'd managed to think of something. Transylvania acoustic. They started to play and I looked around and every single person in my view was singing along. I smiled and joined in.
This was only one song though, what were they gonna do after that? They couldn't do everything acoustically, what would Harry do? At the moment he was just sitting at the back looking just a little bit bored. Bless him. O well, we'll just have to see what happens.
The song finished and the crowd erupted in screams and cheers once again and the guys looked worried again. I looked at Tom to see him mouthing something at Harry then at Dougie. They all nodded and then looked at me and all 3 of them smiled. I was confused, what were they doing? Then all of a sudden 2 security guards came and lifted me out of the audience and onto the stage.
"Tom! What are you doing?"
He didn't answer but instead went up to his microphone.
"Ok you all know my sister yer?" he asked and basically the whole audience screamed "Well how many of you are signed up to her myspace and listened to her music?"
Again the whole hall was filled with screams and it suddenly clicked what Tom was going to get me to do. He was going to get me to sing. Some guy I'd never seen before in my life walked up to me and handed me an acoustic guitar and I took it before heading of to the side of the stage. I attempted to get off but Dougie pushed me back to the middle.
"Just do it Carrie! You're amazing!" he shouted.
I stood in the middle of the stage just looking out to the audience, what the fuck was I going to sing? Ah! I froze for a minute and then all of a sudden I had a rush of confidence and I just started to play. The guys were at the side of the stage and as I glanced at them they were all there with their thumbs at me. I was tempted to stick another finger up at them but refrained myself. This was actually quite cool, and to my surprise, quite a few people were singing along.
He wants us to get back together? But, but I thought he hated me.
"Danny I thought you hated me!" I told him.
He ran in front of me and put his hands on my shoulders. I didn't want him to see that I was crying and I didn't want to make eye contact and so I looked down to the floor where water was soaking my feet.
"Hate you? Hate you? How could I hate you? Louise I love you!"
I didn't know what to say. I still didn't want to look up and I was quite shocked.
"After what happened?"
"No matter what happened and what may happen…I love you Louise…I love you so much!"
This time I bought myself to look up and as I stared into the pools of blue which were his eyes. I felt butterflies in my stomach and my heart felt weird, like for a moment it had stopped beating. He didn't only love me but I loved him, I loved him so much and I didn't want to let him go.
His hair was dripping wet and his face was full of worry and love. Looking at him like this I realised something, realised something I'd never thought of before. Not that I loved him, I'd realised that a long time ago. No, this time I realised, I realised he wasn't just someone I could live with, he was someone who I couldn't live without.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and touched his lips with mine. A sensation of happiness filled my body, mind and soul and right at that moment I wanted nothing more than to stay with him. In that moment, where nothing could happen to destroy my happiness and nothing could break down the love I felt for him.
The rain drenched us both and as he pulled away I smiled at him. Tears still rolled down my cheeks but in happiness instead of depression. I no longer cared about the dark, cold and wet of the night, I felt safe in his arms and I never wanted to be released.
"This feels so right" I told him and he smiled at me "not only when we're kissing, or making love, or walking down the street hand in hand, but, in my heart."
He smiled again and went in for another kiss.
"And the heart never lies" he whispered before joining our lips again.
I put my hand round the back of his head and he placed his arms round my body, pulling me closer and sharing his body heat with mine. I enjoyed the moment and whilst the passionate kiss we shared continued, memories of our first meeting filled my mind and I knew, I knew that this boy, Daniel David Alan Jones was not just a boyfriend, he was my soul mate, my one true love and I knew that no matter what, I'd always remember him, treasure him, and make sure that nothing got in the way of us. I loved him, we were together, and that's all that mattered.
This student written piece of work is one of many that can be found in our GCSE Patterns of Behaviour section.
- Join over 1.2 million students every month
- Accelerate your learning by 29%
- Unlimited access from just £6.99 per month