Elliot Taylor
ACW
Coronary heart disease
Introduction
This disease, also known as Ischemic heart disease is caused by the narrowing or blocking of a coronary artery by fatty tissue and fibrons which deprive the heart muscle of oxygen rich blood, the effect may be death if extreme or if the deprivation is only mild the effect will be angina pectoris. After repeated attacks the results are the progressive destruction of the myocardium. The result of which is the destruction of the left ventricle or ventricular fibrillation, which is an uncontrolled and uncoordinated twitching of the ventricle muscle that will cause certain cardiac death. A coronary bypass or a balloon angioplasty are instigated to combat against this potential threat, these are seen as the last resort if medication and diet are unable to control the progressive coronary heart disease and if the myocardial damage is not too extensive.
Ischemic heart disease, atherosclerotic plaque, cardiac infarction
The narrowing of the arteries by decomposition of fatty material on the wall is called arteriosclerosis, the direct result of this being a lowered blood flow. This reduced blood flow is a progressive condition and may have been occurring many years before symptoms start to show. The triggers for the deposition which will damage the endothelium lining of the artery are associated with carbon monoxide (which is a product of smoking), high blood cholesterol levels, high blood pressure and diabetes mellitus. These factors are synonymous with bad diet and poor health, which consequentially results in an increased risk in heart disease. The body’s natural response to this damage is monocycles attaching to the lining of the artery. These monocycles will penetrate between the endothelium cells and inside the tunica media, where they develop into macrophages, which will accumulate the fatty materials such as cholesterol and triglycerides. The smooth muscle cells begin to reproduce in response to the growth substances the macrophages produce. The overall result of this is the development of a clump of fatty material covered by a smooth muscle and fibrous tissue on the inside of the artery; this is known as an atherosclerotic plaque. The exact mechanism of the plaque formation is not fully understood but studies of epidemiology, the pattern of occurrences, of atherosclerosis show that factors occurred with producing the atherosclerotic plaque are: Smoking, diet, obesity, high blood pressure (known as hypertension), heredity factors, high blood cholesterol levels and diabetes mellitus. If the fibrous caps of these atherosclerotic plaques are thin they can rupture and cause a thrombosis; a clot triggered by the expulsion of fatty materials from the ruptured atherosclerotic plaque. This clot can grow in minutes and the artery can be completely blocked. Although all organs of the body require a blood supply, some more than others and some need a continuous flow. Muscles, for example, especially if they are not being used, remain unharmed even when they are deprived of their blood supply for many minutes, whilst an interrupted blood supply to the brain can cause malfunctions within seconds causing loss of consciousness and if the flow of blood is not restored within a few minutes then irreversible damage can be the result. The heart itself, much like the brain, is dependent on a constant supply of blood. If the heart loses its blood supply, this is known as ischaemic, its ability to pump blood around the body is seriously reduced. This ischaemic heart disease is the cause for most heart attacks. The heart cells duly die causing a heart attack or a cardiac infarction. If this clot is in the brain then the person has a stroke.
This is a preview of the whole essay
Peer Reviews
Here's what a star student thought of this essay
Quality of writing
This is a well written piece of work, the candidate uses a good range of vocabulary and they have accurately used correct medical terminology which demonstrates a good understanding of the topic. Furthermore, there are no errors with spelling, punctuation or grammar.
Level of analysis
The candidate has gone into a great deal of depth when describing causes and treatment for coronary heart disease and it is apparent from the information that they have discussed that they've taken the time to research this topic. It is important to research a science based essay so that you can make sure that you get the facts right. In addition to this, you demonstrate interest in your subject which is always a good thing and the extra information that the research allows you to include in your work can make your essay more interesting to read with is another plus. Furthermore the candidate has sensibly included a bibliography listing the resources they have used which is important as it shows the steps you have taken to prepare for your work and proves that your work is not plagiarised. However there are some errors with the way that the candidate has referenced the resources that they have used. For example, if you take information from a webpage, you need to include the link to that specific page, which the candidate has not done and if you use magazine articles then you should state the date and issue number of the magazine along with the page that the article is printed one. This allows others to look up the resources you have used. On another note the candidate occasionally includes quotes that have found from their research, while this can be a good starting point for discussion, the way in which the candidate has added the quotes throughout their work actually detracts from the information within the essay. Remember your teacher/examiner is far more interested in what you have to say, by all means include references to the work or ideas of other people but make sure this fits with what you are discussing and that you mention why it is relevant to your work. On a final note, the candidate has not written a conclusion which is a mistake, you should alway conclude your work as this gives you a chance to draw the essay to a close and leave the reader with a good impression. A good conclusion should summarise key points from within your essay with reference to why this are important and you should include a personal response to your topic. For a science based essay like this one, this could be what you have learnt from writing your essay.
Response to question
The candidates introductory paragraph has room for improvement, when writing an introduction you do need to introduce your topic which the candidate has done but they have gone into far too much detail. You want your introduction to be short and to the point. You should briefly describe your topic and you should then go on to state exactly what you plan to discuss so that the purpose of your essay is clear. You can develop your introduction further by trying to engage the reader which you can do with by stating an interesting fact or including relevant background information. If the reader is interested in your work then they are more likely to read all of your essay rather than simply skim through it.
