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How safe are Mobile phones?
The first 200 words of this essay...
Introduction
Mobile phones are becoming an essential business tool, a popular means of communication. In my report, I will be talking to you about mobile phone safety, then I will come to a conclusion based on my evidences and statistics.
Disadvantages
Mobile phones have numerous advantages but they also bring some disadvantages.
* Effects on health
The radiations of mobile phones are causing serious health hazards to the users. The mobile phone users are more prone to ear defects, headaches and blurring of vision1.
This source is reliable because it is from the BBC website and the BBC website is not biased. It is valid because the article was published in 2005. This was a Swedish study carried out in 2002. Altogether 1249 people were surveyed, so it is reliable.
SAR values are an indication of how much heat is absorbed into the head. The more the value, the more heat absorbed. This graph shows the top 10 SAR values in Europe for mobile phones2:
Manufacturer
Model
SAR Rating W/Kg
Sony Ericsson
T650
1.80
Sony Ericsson
W880i
1.45
Nokia
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Review of essay
Rating: 3 star(s)
Response to the question
A good essay with a range of points discussed. The candidate however lacks scientific depth to the question presented, although the points discussed are presented well under each sub-heading. The conclusion isn't very well done because it mentions different sources rather than different opinions which makes the conclusion hard to follow. The conclusion reached is not adequate for the text provided or well reasoned.
Level of analysis
A clear introduction and layout although I wouldn't underline sub-bullet pointed headings. The writer does not have a clear concept of reliable and valid, as I would not describe the bbc website as a reliable or valid scientific source. Also, neither does the number of people being surveyed in a scientific test make it reliable just because there is a large sample size present. The writer does not also describe the significance of SAR and what this may mean for phone users. The article lacks scientific depth in places. The candidate provides a range of points under a variety of headings and discusses them well. The candidate uses graphs to support their text which is good for this level.
Quality of writing
Minor grammatical errors in places such as 'evidences.' Spelling, grammar and punctuation are otherwise fine. Layout as discussed above could have been improved
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