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The growing problem of diabetes.

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It has been a fast growing problem in the parish of Westmoreland and by extension the island of Jamaica that more and more people (young, middle aged and old) are diagnosed daily with diabetes. The major causes include genetics, obesity, bad eating habits and a sedentary lifestyle. Nowadays, people consume junk foods, sweets and sodas, everyone is too busy to prepare nutritious food with so many fast food restaurants to choose from. Junk foods do not contain many nutrients, they are usually very high in salt and sugar content which are not the best for human consumption. Most persons don't even drink water, they prefer sodas and alcohol which only contain empty calories. ...read more.


If we can help this generation to make sensible choices in relation to their health and preventing Diabetes, then we can save millions of people yet to come who will not be diagnosed with the disease through genetics. Not only is the risk for type-two diabetes more common as people get older, but physical, financial and medical issues are often compounded as people age. * Diagnosis can be more difficult - as there are already underlying symptoms of other common conditions that frequently occur with aging. Older people may not pay attention to symptoms of chronic thirst and frequent urination, instead just "chalking" them up to old age. Problems such as blurred vision may be masked if cataracts or other age-related eye disorders are also concurrent. ...read more.


It's hard to get to doctors appointments, pharmacies, nutritionists and other health related destinations when there's no available transportation. Sometimes physical limitations prevent seniors from taking advantage of public transportation. * Adequate nutrition: sometimes a fixed income means trying to cut costs and live as economically as possible. Eating healthy can be expensive and difficult to accomplish. * Getting enough exercise: physical activity is beneficial to all seniors but especially for seniors with diabetes. Exercise can help to keep blood sugar under control. Limited mobility can interfere with getting enough exercise. The researcher hopes this research will allow people to make good decisions in regards to their health and preventing diabetes. The researcher also hopes the impact Diabetes has on the society will be lessened upon completion of this project. ...read more.

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Response to the question

The response to the question is done well. The candidate provides a variety of reasons why diabetes is a problem in the world today, although they don't really address why diabetes is a 'growing problem' only why it is a ...

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Response to the question

The response to the question is done well. The candidate provides a variety of reasons why diabetes is a problem in the world today, although they don't really address why diabetes is a 'growing problem' only why it is a problem on its own. This should be addressed by factors such as rising obesity levels and modernisation of third world countries.

Level of analysis

The candidate introduces the topic well and succinctly. Throughout their essay they make a lot of valid points, but they also make quite a few sweeping statements which may not be true. The candidate tends to assume everyone eats dessert, and people choose alcohol over water based drinks which is not true for many of todays society. Some of their language isn't very scientific but rather conversational. This includes 'lay on their backs all day' when a better term would be that they lack exercise and activity. The candidate makes some very good points about why diabetes is such a worry in old age. The candidate does not have a conclusion which means that loose ends in the essay are not tied up, and the candidate does not formulate an end opinion or bring together all the evidence. An essay should always end with a conclusion.

Quality of writing

The luminous green writing at the top should be avoided as it looks far from professional for a scientific essay. The candidate wrongly uses a capital letter every time they mention diabetes. Punctuation, grammar and spelling are otherwise fine. Format of the essay is fine.

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Reviewed by skatealexia 28/08/2012

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