This caste system in India, gave rise to a cynical breed of marriage brokers, who were given the task of searching for suitable spouses for the children of their clients. These marriage brokers, being total strangers, would “promote” the girls or the boys to prospective families, regardless of whether they liked them, as long as they were getting a good fee for it, “They should know that I’m going to inflict my sales-talk on the other party whether personally I’m impressed or not. I’m more interested in how much I’m getting out of the whole business.” The matchmaker in “The Bhorwani Marriage” himself says that he does not like his profession, although he appreciates the money he makes out of it, “Yes, I’m proud of my notoriety – the other maharajs in the trade would have said ‘fame’. Modesty, in fact, is one of my shortcomings.” Atu Maharaj also treats the whole affair much like a business transaction by talking in a very business-like manner and the lack of any human element automatically strikes the reader – “I still hadn’t been able to assess the standard of the party”, “The Balani business had been a dead loss for me,” etc.
Such an uncommitted attitude would definitely affect the happiness and lives of the children who would be married, as they’d find themselves with total strangers who would probably be little like them.
The superstitious custom of matching the horoscopes of the prospective bride and groom could also lead to marital misery, as many families still follow this tradition strictly, as is shown in “The Bhorwani Marriage”, where the Parnani boy’s father refused to allow a union which included contradictory horoscopes. The writer chooses to say, “Indeed, the more the offerings (preferably financial), the greater was the likelihood of the stars falling into positions beneficial to both the parties,” reflecting his criticism of the idea of marriages based on horoscopes. Even in “The Old Woman”, the writer shows how such superstitious beliefs can ruin the lives of many by blaming any misfortune on the daughter-in-law, “What’s the matter, except with the writing on my forehead!”, “Throw out that unlucky wife,” in this case, the death of the husband, both of the old woman and of Menaka. In the “Stench of Kerosene”, Guleri is banished because she is barren and unable to bear children.
Furthermore, in Indian marriages, we see the extreme importance paid to the custom of dowry, money or material good that had to be paid by the bride’s family to the bridegroom’s. In “The Bhorwani Marriage”, we see how the Parnani boy wasn’t at all interested in what his bride looked like or how much her family agreed to pay, but it was the mother who was asking for the stars – demanding a perfect girl and a great amount of dowry, “But his mother. She wants’ – a calculated pause – everything’.” If brides do not bring the expected or set amount of dowry with them, in some rural areas, the whole family often mistreats them, as is shown in “The Old Woman”, “because she had no parents and was married off by her uncle’s family, they could not get back at the shrewd uncle for not giving all of the promised dowry…Because they couldn’t take it out on their earning son, their minds stayed poisoned against his wife.” Here we see that although it was the uncle’s fault, who had not paid the complete dowry, it is the orphan girl who was disliked by the family, and although the son had married her out of personal liking, it was not he, but the wife who suffered, simply because he was the “son” and earned money for the family. This also shows the position of women, as for Orthodox Indians, anything and everything is always the girl’s/woman’s fault, even though any person with eyes can clearly see that the son or anyone else is in the wrong. The writer here says, “Who would keep a woman with so many faults and so much ill luck?” speaking in the voice of the family members, showing, through sarcasm, his dislike of this idea of blaming the woman for others’ faults/mistakes, including Nanda’s death.
In “The Bhorwani Marriage”, there is a lot of emphasis paid to the girl’s physical appearance, showing how good looks were a main criteria in the selection of girls falling in the ‘marriageable material’ category. The writer mentions, “She was thin and dark. Boys nowadays demand a white skin even if the features of the girl are not striking. No doubt her thinness could be to her advantage.” This goes on and is mentioned in other places too, showing how most men (or their mothers), no matter how ugly they (or their sons) were, demanded, slim, good-looking girls. In “The Old Woman”, however, there are absolutely no references to any physical aspect of the girl’s appearance, although there is a lot of importance given to the fact that she was a “grown girl”, the use of which itself shows the story’s ‘non-Western’ nature, as this phrase is something typically Indian and not used in British or American English. The reason behind the dislike associated with marrying a “grown girl” was probably that it is a lot harder for someone to mould a grown person who had her own ideologies and personality. When a younger girl comes into the family, she can be easily influenced by the in-laws into being the sort of person they would want her to be, which is a lot harder or impossible to do with a grown girl. This was of crucial importance as a girl, after marriage, belonged to her husband’s family and had few rights in her own house. In certain cases, daughters-in-law weren’t even allowed to visit their parents’ homes, as is shown in “A Stench of Kerosene” where Guleri could visit her parents only once a year, “Once every year, after the harvest had been gathered in, Guleri was allowed to spend a few days with her parents.” Another reason was the ever-present suspicion of the girl’s virginity, “Maybe she is not! One is never sure of it with a grown girl!” clearly stating that only virgins were eligible for marriage, and this suspicion increased with the girl’s age, as this made people wonder as to why the girl had not got married earlier. An ‘experienced’ woman, even if it were through no fault of her own, could NOT be married. Social taboos forbade men from getting married to ‘non-virgins’ and still uphold their ‘dignity’ and status in society.
In both “The Bhorwani Marriage” and “The Old Woman”, the status of the mother-in-law is impressed upon the readers, however, it is a lot more obvious in “The Old Woman”. The mothers-in-law would control the entire household, showing how, in Indian society, although the man may be the head of the house, the woman is the neck, and can turn the head anywhere she wants. The younger daughters-in-law of the household in “The Old Woman” all fear their mothers-in-law and are afraid of speaking out their minds in front of them, “The younger wives remark in low voices… They do so for fear of offending their mothers-in-law and the daughters of the house, who would not like big talk in mouths that should be modest.” This shows that married women did not belong to their own families, and were not treated as equals in their husbands’ families either by the “daughters of the house” and their mothers-in-law. This is an extremely ironic situation, as once the mothers-in-law themselves were the newly wed daughters-in law of the house and were oppressed in a way, similar to their attitude towards their daughters-in-law. Because they were once oppressed and put down, this could be a reason for their present treatment of their sons’ wives. Furthermore, the story is written in present tense throughout, probably because the writer is trying to emphasise on the continuity of such traditions and customs and how they are strictly followed, even today.
The position of the mother-in-law is mentioned, also in “The Bhorwani Marriage”, but it is more subtle there as there are no direct comments regarding the matter, although the requirements of the mother of the “Engineer Parnani” are emphasised, “I was sure I could get round the Engineer Parnani, but his mother? She was asking for what we call ‘everything’”, showing how it is the mother/mother-in-law that has the actual say in most matters regarding marriage and other domestic affairs. The boy, however, has no problem whosoever the girl may be and the writer adds humour to the story by saying, “He peered through the thick glasses, pointed to the wrong girl and said, ‘Will do.’ When my wife corrected him he peered again and again and said, ‘Will do’.” Actually, the writer uses sarcastic humour here, to emphasise on the demands of the mothers-in-law, and the less demanding sons who seem quite meek when compared to their mothers.
The idea of the dominant mother-in-law is also shown in “Smoke”, a story written by Ila Arab Mehta, published in “Truth Tales – Stories by Indian Women (1986)”, where the girl Shubha seems to be petrified of her mother-in-law, even after the death of her husband, “How long can the act be kept secret form her mother-in-law? There was the clinic, of course, where she could smoke. But Ba might just walk in there too, one day.” To an outsider, there seems to be no valid reason why Shubha should tolerate her mother-in-law even after her husband’s dead, but reading “The Old Woman” as well, we understand that marriage means marriage to the whole family, and the death of one’s husband does not mean separation from it. Shubha’s character here, seems to be falling somewhere between the old woman’s and Menaka’s from “The Old Woman and we see how if Shubha was not afraid of tradition, she would have moved on and left her mother-in-law. “The First Party”, written by Attia Hosain and from the collection called “Phoenix Fled(1988), where, too, there is a reference to how marriage was a life-long reunion and divorce wasn’t really an available option, “but now she saw her husband was one of her destroyers; and yet she knew that above all others was the belief that her life must be one with his.” This shows how, even if the husband and wife later find out that they are as different as yin and yang, they must live with it and not head for a divorce. This could also be due to the stigma associated with widows and divorcees in India. A strict custom known as Suttee, followed in ancient India, now illegal, consisted of a woman being burnt on her husband’s funeral pyre. Or, if she did live on, she would have to shave her head, live alone and not associate with anyone else. Needless to say, most women chose to being burnt alive. However, this custom probably originated due to the needs and beliefs of the time such as the fact that women had to be protected by men.
Shubha’s character in “Smoke” seems to be a direct contrast with the old woman’s in “The Old Woman” who breaks away from tradition. The opening of this story emphasises the woman’s old age and makes the reader picture her as a helpless of old woman, but is in for a surprise later when he/she becomes aware of her unorthodox nature. We get more of a shock as an old woman is usually associated with culture and tradition and we expect her to uphold it, whereas her going against it is quite unexpected. Moreover, the writer compares the old woman to a tree – “For sixty years she has been there, the roots and branches of her existence alive… She is like the big old tree on the west side of the brig room in the house.” This could signify a lot of things, mainly showing how her roots are deeply ingrained in the household. Also, since a tree is a life-giver, the writer could be implying how people who are able to change, like the old woman, can nourish and give life to the Indian society, which is withering due to the strict following of backward values, which were probably suitable for the time of their origination, but are not apt for modern days.
Most Indian marriages are arranged, even in modern times, as change occurs very slowly in a society like India’s and is usually unwelcome. However, it is surprising when one compares the number of successful marriages to the number of unsuccessful ones. Nevertheless, we see this custom being criticised in “The Bhorwani Marriage” where, through reading between the lines, we realise that the writer criticises his profession and seems to dislike it, except for the money to be made in the business, which is quite a lot. The writers, Melwani and Bandyopadhyay, both show their dislike of the custom of dowry, although Melwani portrays it in a rather sarcastically humorous way, like the rest of his ideas, whereas Bandyopadhyay is more serious in highlighting the consequences suffered by brides whose families do not or cannot afford to pay high dowries. I find this idea degrading to women, and unsuitable for modern days, as it is high time that people changed their medieval ideas and tuned in with time. Women are paraded in front of prospective suitors, and being rejected can often be quite hard on one’s self-esteem. However, in “The Old Woman”, we see what the girl goes through even after her marriage was not arranged, making us realise that change has to come about drastically, as having one or two people change their minds would not really help as like with Menaka, it would lead to discrimination within the family. Both the writers have made their points quite vividly and have portrayed the Indian culture very effectively, but writing in such a way, that their personal opinions are clearly visible.
