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My Experience of Work

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AMDG Monday 28th October 2002 My Experience of Work "I now pronounce Liam Bartlett and Jennifer Lopez to be husband and wife" I was so excited when the priest whose name I do not recall belted out those words. I was filled with such a large amount of joy and cheer that I didn't know what to do next, I was static to the floor in the huge gothic church in front of the altar. The priest's voice was so soft and the next sounds I heard just floated out of his mouth through the air. "You may kiss the bride" These words, said by the old priest, were like music to my ears. I leant over and removed the veil from my new wife's beautiful face and kissed her. It was heavenly. I was thrilled that I had achieved my life long goal of marrying Jennifer Lopez. Infact I was so ecstatic that I remember thinking that it was all my imagination and that I must have been dreaming when I married Jennifer Lopez. Sadly, my theory was correct and the marriage was just a dream. I remember my Bart Simpson alarm clock on my bedside cabinet adjacent to my bed shrieking out the sound of "hey man, eat my shorts" over and over again. The marriage to Jennifer Lopez was all a dream and it was time to check back into the real world and get ready for my first day of work experience. ...read more.


After travelling the length of the platform a few times the following muffled announcement was made by a woman with an extremely high pitched yet manly voice, " I regret to inform you, but I have received information that the next southbound train destination Sutton is running approximately 25 minutes late. I apologise for any inconvenience caused. " I looked at my watch in disbelief to see that I was due to arrive at work in 20 minutes time, which meant that I would already be five minutes late when the train finally did arrive at the station, not to mention the time it would take on the train and the time needed to walk from St Helier station to my work experience placement. After this announcement was made more than three quarters of the citizens waiting for a train left the station in a last attempt to find a different route to work. Thankfully the bizarre old women that I had to sit next to earlier left too, meaning that I could sit on the bench for a second time but on this occasion in peace and without having to put up with her foul stench. The hands on my watch seemed to be moving at a snail's pace and the 25 minutes in the freezing weather passed extremely slowly with the minutes seeming as hours. Finally the twenty-five minute wait had come to an end and the South West Trains train arrived 27 minutes late. ...read more.


Brian shouted out at the top of his cockney voice, "Beamsy!" I was rather startled by this, as it was very unexpected. After he had called out an old man who appeared to be Harold Shipman's twin brother strolled along the dirty, oil covered workshop floor wearing red and silver Vauxhall overalls. The Harold Shipman look-alike approached me and introduced himself as David Beams. While he was doing this I couldn't help but think to myself how unlucky I was. My work experience placement was in a shabby old garage in the middle of nowhere. I also had the pleasure of working with a serial killer. The two weeks passed dreadfully slowly and the tasks I undertook were making tea, making coffee, making hot-chocolate and running to and fro across a dual carriage way to the run down chip shop with everybody's orders. Tired bored and annoyed with Mr Austin for giving me a terrible work experience placement, I was just about to leave for the last time when the mechanics came up to me and told me to never forget them and to visit them regularly. I smiled and said thank you for letting me work with them. While doing this in my head I was thinking that they have a snowball's chance in hell of seeing me again. I couldn't wait to leave the garage. Work experience was possibly the worst two weeks of my life that have ever happened and probably yet to come. After the first hour of work experience I definitely decided that I would never like a job that involves manual labour. I wouldn't have the patience and I hated every minute of work experience. ...read more.

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