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Work Experience The day had finally arrived. The teachers have been telling us to get ready and start worrying about the whole thing but to tell you the truth, I didn't think the day would ever arrive. Kind of like exams. You know that you're going to have to take them eventually but they're just so far away, it feels like you're going to die before they ever arrive. Now, to the topic at hand... It was the beginning of a whole new experience. Work Experience. Sounds dreadful, doesn't it? That's because it was dreadful...in my experience. I had two whole weeks to gain some skill. Think that's easy? Think again. It was as interesting as watching faeces dry out and turn white. Not as smelly though...but just as messy. The dreaded workplace was located in Angel, Islington so it took some time to get there. Travelled by train. Two trains, to be exact. I got up at around six in the morning, which was a whole new thing. Morning smells different. It smells fresh...almost soothing...but at the time I could not give a monkey about it all. I was too busy slapping my face to keep me awake. If this is what I have to look forward to in the future, you can forget it. Me? Getting out of bed earlier than God himself? Please. There would have to be a snowstorm in Hell for that.
I was dragged out of bed at six o'clock for this. I was on the other side with three others and I can still remember their names. Mark M. was next to me and he was also new. He's been with them for around two months. Opposite us were Rachael and Chi, both Asian with both very strong accents that were hard to make out. They also looked the same, which is truly a terrible thing to say, bearing in mind that Rachael was a woman and Chi a man. Someone made a joke about that actually. A secretary came in and was having a conversation with my brothers, one thing led to another and the next thing you knew, they were discussing how all Chinese people looked the same. Looking at the two opposite, I was nodding my head off. But anyway...the ninth person there was Gareth. He was in charge of all of us but he wasn't the boss. A chubby guy called Mark was. If there's an award for the biggest suck-up out there, Gareth takes it with no competition. Every time Mark congratulated someone, Gareth always twitched and you could always see he was green-eyed. But whenever Mark patted him on the back, he showed off. For the whole two weeks, I was laughing at his idiocy...without him noticing. I hope. You'd think that a 30-something year old man who is married with children would behave like one!
It sounds easy but wait for it... I had to do it in the server room. If you've ever been in a server room, you would be sympathising with me right now. Servers are huge machines and without them, the computers would just not work. This server was gigantic and there were wires and cables everywhere; it was mind-boggling. Since it runs 24:7, it produces a lot of heat so to fix that problem, they put a fan in the room. It was like walking in a freezer that was inside another freezer. Moscow at winter is warmer than the server room! So there I was, all alone inside this sub-zero prison sorting out hundreds of CDs. I would've died of hypothermia if it weren't for my thick polo-neck jumper with the trouser suit. To make things that little bit more ironic [without meaning to, of course], the boss called me out for ice cream. He was treating us all. Although I was whiter than snow, ice cream is ice cream so I just couldn't refuse! For payback, I chose the most expensive one. Revenge is as sweet as Walls ice-cream. The work colleagues were lovely people though. Excluding Gareth, no one likes Gareth. They were the sorts of people I would love to hang around with. They used intelligible words, which is very rare in today's society! Like all computer geeks, they were sarcastic and most of them were cynical. I finally found people who were like me.
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