It feels like in my veins there is no single drop of a blood left...
I wasn’t sturdy enough to stand up. My whole body was stiff from pain, which seemed to be more bearable with every second. I put the huge effort to smile reluctantly to myself. My eyes caught the very last glimpse of sunlight shining through the sizeable windows... The sun was rising, the new day has just began. But not for me.
Nothing goes as planned... Everything will break...
I closed my eyes. If I had any feeling, emotions before now they were all gone...
‘Hurry up! CODE BLUE, CODE BLUE! Charge to two hundred!’
I fainted.
***
‘Mary... Mary! Dr Fell, do you hear me?’
My head was pounding. The level of the pain was beyond all the boundaries. If someone told me that such feeling exist, I wouldn’t believe it.
‘Good, then. Dr Greenberg, she’s responsive.’
‘Mary? How do you feel?’
I opened my mouth just to discover that I wasn’t able to utter a single word. My lips were dry like a sand on the desert. I felt like it wasn’t my body, like it wasn’t me lying in the bed on ICU...
‘She’s still exhausted, let her rest. We can talk to her later.’
‘But...’
‘No, Molly. She can’t know the truth.’
The voices of two people seemed far away, I heard them like if they were standing on the other side of the baseball pitch. I let my eyes stay closed even though I wasn’t sleeping. These two knew something interesting. I had to know what are they talking about...
‘Don’t you think she should be on the psychiatric ward?’
‘Will! Be quiet, how do you know she doesn’t hear us?’
‘She’s asleep, Peggy. Stop being paranoiac. How could she? I mean... I knew she had her issues, like personal matters. Adding this guy she killed last week...’
‘He died during the surgery, it wasn’t her fault!’
‘Of course it was. I know it, you know it and surely Mary knows it. Besides...’
The rest of their conversation drown into the silence of my thoughts as I fell asleep.
There was a blood on her hands. She was running fast through the empty corridors... The doors she passed seemed to stare at her ironically. There was a sound of soft whisper surrounding everything...
A gun. Sparkle, silver gun. She looked at it with curiosity, wondering how a gun can lie on the floor inside the hospital. It can’t... Someone should take it from here...
Click. The setting changes. Now she’s standing in the OR. There are no people here, everything is so spotlessly clean and... This silence. She loves it. It was one of the reasons why she wanted to be a surgeon. The magic of the ORs... Incredible.
After a while when she relished the view of the room, she went out. Slowly taking steps, her sneakers were making barely heard noise. Click, click.
Bathroom. Tall, dusty mirror. She looked in it with the enormous desire to explore every piece of her soul...
She was staring at a skinny woman with long dark hair and eyes so bright that they resembled a clear sky. Her navy scrubs were covered in a thick red substance. Blood. Blood, blood… Red, tasty, dense. It’s like a kryptonite for a surgeon. Blood… Essence of a surgeon’s life.
Click. Now she’s standing in the main hall. She raised her hand, squeezing a gun. She wasn’t shaking, being as calm as always during surgeries. That was her power. To save lives. And to take them away…
She put a gun to her stomach, grinned to herself and closed her eyes…
***
‘Mary! For God’s sake! I understand it’s first night you actually got any sleep after exams but WAKE UP! You have to help me find a dress for tonight’s ball!’
A curly haired girl opened her eyes and almost jumped out from the bed. She looked at a girl who was throwing away all the clothes from the wardrobe, snapping about how there is nothing to wear… And some date…
Wait, what?! Where is Will and Peggy? Why isn’t she shot? Why isn’t she in hospital’s bed?!
‘Mary?! Come on, why have such a stupid expression on your face? GET UP AND HELP ME!’
‘So… All of it was just a dream? A nightmare? – she whispered more to herself than to a talkative blond roommate.’
‘What? What kind of nightmare?’
‘That I was a surgeon… And I shot myself… I think I had some kind of schizophrenia… ‘
That made the other girl laugh. She laughed so hard that Mary thought she’ll have to seduce her… Or give her a cup of melissa.
‘And when I said that medical school can really mess up with people’s mind, no one believed me!’
Word count:
1091