In order to understand and comprehend my desire for knowledge, one must know my history. I was born in Missouri, Columbia to Egyptian parents. Everyone has that one person they hold in high regards and look up to- people call them role models – I refer to them as ‘Dad.’ My dad, the scientist, completed 15 years of education in America with the highest degree and receiving a Ph.D. in toxicology. For the sake of education, he defeated all odds, be it everything from social status and parental expectations for the sake of education. My mom on the other hand was a high school science and middle school math teacher as well as an on and off principal. So as you can see, my parents put quite an emphasis on education, especially scientific. Unlike most children who grew up watching cartoons or listening to nursery rhymes, I grew up on documentaries, book and observations. One might even say I was ‘nosey.’ As my mom describes me, “You want to be involved in everything; what matters and what doesn’t matter, what concerns you and what doesn’t concern you. You want to be at the centre of everything.” You see, I have always desired for myself a future beyond one’s comprehension, not with money but with knowledge. Since I wasn’t very social, my world mainly centred on education and my family. It comes as no surprise that to this day, my knowledge is based on my drive to impress my parents. Thus, I tend to be mark-driven.
My mother tongue is English, However, since I was fortunate enough to spend most of my childhood in an Arabic country, I am now fluent in Arabic as well as I am in English. Living in such an environment during such a critical period of my growth might have helped shape me into the person I am today. I was always – and still am- absorbed in Arabic poetry and literary pieces. Poetry had an unusual effect on me. Poetry helped me lose myself; as I read the verses I find myself being transformed into a different dimension. Through poetry I am able to understand the beauty of the Arabic language and appreciate its culture-rich-history. Arabic gave me the ability to express myself in ways I hadn’t thought possible. Through living in that one country, I was able to explore 22 other countries all of which used the Arabic language in one form or the other. I was able to understand the perspectives, the view points, the religions, the food, the music and the Knowledge. On the other hand, the English language exposed me to an entirely different perspective. I was taught to question, and to follow my own believes - not those set upon me by my parents. Language taught me the beauty of multiculturalism and open mindedness. As a knower, I am a combination of two personas; my Arabic-speaking persona and my western one. In a way, I’m a by-product of my knowledge. (241)
As a person who believes in god, I know that my religion plays a huge role on my knowledge. As I learn, I tend to base my opinions on those of my faith. As the kind of person who’s always seeking answers and questioning life, I need explanations. Through my belief in God, I am able to believe in the supernatural. This belief provides me with relief and assures me that everything is part of a greater scheme. Religion gives me hope and provides me with comfort knowing that no injustice will go unpunished as no good deed will go un-awarded. I find that as I question myself, my faith grows stronger. Questions such as, “Do I believe in faith because I believe or because my parent’s believes are instilled in me?” This constant questioning encourages me in understanding my religion. As I learn more about my religion, the stronger I become. Most people find religion to be a hindrance since it is not based on logic or scientific evidence but on passion and instincts, however, I find that religion does not in any way, shape or form limit the boundary of my learning. In fact, it broadens it. Religions add on to my personas and give me a different lens through which I can learn to question and seek knowledge. The distinction of religion helps me appreciate the beauty of science and logic. I am aware that such beliefs could affect my judgements and perceptions. However, through the belief in God, I am able to understand my biases and move forward.
My history and experiences are responsible for the knowledge-seeking-individual I am today. As a knower, I am someone who is often intoxicated with knowledge, and driven by marks and attention. I am also someone whose knowledge is influence with linguistic and religious theories and perspectives. I am Nadine Abdel-Ghafar, a knower.
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