Literature Review - How exactly do couples that have arranged marriages get to meet each other and get married? Do arranged marriages work out better than love marriages?

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Running Head: Arranged Marriages, Matchmakers, and Personal Ads        

Arranged Marriages, Matchmakers, and Personal Ads

Sirisha Jala

PSY 325: Statistics for the Behavioral & Social Sciences

Donna Wall

March 28th  2011

Arranged Marriages, Matchmakers, and Personal Ads

Introduction

The chosen issue is arranged marriages, matchmakers, and personal ads. It was selected due to personal reasons of being an Indian female of marriageable age and soon to be, one of subjects written about in these studies of arranged marriages. The perspective of this approach is that arranged marriages last longer and arranged marriages are the typical Indian family affair, love marriages can last for a long time but people fall out of love and get divorced, arranged marriages have changed to adapt to the 21st Century of Internet, and nowadays, in arranged marriages the children choose whom they marry but the parents have to meet the choice. The scope of this paper attempts to understand why arranged marriages have been more stable in India and other Asian countries than love marriages in the Western world, together with the advantages and disadvantages of this approach to marriage.

Statement of the Problem

How exactly do couples that have arranged marriages get to meet each other and get married? Do arranged marriages work out better than love marriages? Many people think that arranged marriages actually do work out better than love marriages do. Many people have love marriages, but the practice of arranged marriages, which has survived for many centuries, is still being practiced by many Asian cultures. Arranged marriages have not only been around for ages, but they have also adapted to the different eras. Arranged marriages are still popular because many children still think that their parents know them best. Indian marriages are unique, beautiful, cheerful and colorful. What are the traditions of Indian marriages? What does the Indian Wedding ceremony consist of? Are Indian marriages made in heaven? There have been many misconceptions about arranged marriages that should change. Some examples of misconceptions are that the couples do not meet until their wedding day, that arranged marriages end up in violence, that arranged marriages are considered anachronisms, and that arranged marriages are a violation of human rights.

Literature Review

Alvarez, L. “Arranged Marriages Get a Little Rearranging.” The New York Times. Detroit: Gale, 2003. A3. Opposing Viewpoints Resource Center. Thomson Gale. Ashford University. 1 Sept. 2010 <http://www.galenet.galegroup.com/>.

Lizette Alvarez who is a New York Times writer and Yoga stretch columnist wrote this article. Nowadays, arranged marriages are sort of a new modified dating service. “In Britain, there is even a speed dating service for people who want to have an arranged marriage but don’t want their parents to fully arrange it for them. The abiding principles behind an arranged marriage remain strong – lust does not a lasting marriage make and family knows best. People who marry because they are compatible with each other because of an arranged marriage tend to have a lasting marriage. “The mums look at the C.V.’s,” said Vani Gupta, a 30-year-old British Indian speed dater. Then the parents figure out if the couple is compatible for example the right job, right background, and right morals. “It’s nice to know that parents have done the work. It is more secure.”

Bellafante, G. “Indian Nuptials, U.S.style.” International Herald Tribune AsiaPacific [New York] 23 Aug. 2010: 14. 7 Oct. 2005 <http://www.iht.com/bin/print_ipub.php?file=/articles>.

Ginia Bellafante who is a writer and critique for the New York Times wrote this article. A more moderate and flexible procedure known as a “modern arranged marriage” is gaining in popularity. Parents choose several possible candidates or employ a marriage website. The parents will then arrange a meeting with the family of the prospective mate, confining their role to responsible facilitators and well-wishers. Less pressure to agree to the match is exerted by the parents in comparison to a traditional arranged marriage. Some of these factors in some order of priority may be taken into account for the purpose of matchmaking: Numerology and the positions of stars at birth are often used in Indian culture to predict the success of a particular match. This is sometimes expressed as a percentage, for example, a 70% match. Typically, the groom should be taller than the bride. Typically, the groom should be older than the bride. The religious and spiritual beliefs can play a large role in finding a suitable spouse. For a groom, the professions of doctor, accountant, lawyer, engineer, or scientist are traditionally valued as excellent spouse material. Families holding substantial assets may prefer to marry to another wealthy family. Language also is deemed to be important criteria.

Browning, D. “Mutual Respect between Spouses Will Improve Marriage.” Male/Female Roles. Detroit: Gale, 2003. Opposing Viewpoints Resource Center. Thomson Gale. Ashford University. 1 Sept. 2010 <http://www.galenet.galegroup.com/>.

While marriages do not need love to endure, they at least need mutual respect between both partners. “The notion that people should give their spouses and offspring the esteem and love that they expect for themselves may symbolize that the best representation of marriage is the concept of mutuality.” For the book, From Culture Wars to Common Ground: Religion and the American Family Debate, the authors analyzed 1,019 Americans in collaboration with the George H. Gallup International Institute. Of those Americans, 55% said that “love in a good marriage is best characterized by mutuality.” The study also examines the fact that women, liberals, and the rich are the people that would want to choose the concept of mutuality for their marriages. Mutuality also emphasizes the fact that husbands and wives should equally do housework, discipline the children, and make the domestic resolutions.

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Chandra, A.  (1991, October 31). Marriage, Indian Style The Arranged Marriage Is Alive and Well in the U.S. Chicago Reader. Nov. 1, 1991, v.21, no. 5.

Anupama Chandra who is an Indian who writes for the Chicago Reader wrote this article. Indians have been arranging marriages since around 4000 BC, and now young Indians who have grown up with all things suburban are going through the traditional networks--matchmakers, newspapers, acquaintances--and agreeing to marry individuals they barely know. A matchmaker helped arrange the marriage of many cousins. It is remembered that cousin Mrinal was introduced to the future wife Sunandhini. It ...

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