Feeding Children Lies Makes Them Grow Big and Strong- Lying to children from a young age is bad for the child's psychological growth.
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neumannnate2gmailcom (student)
Feeding Children Lies Makes Them Grow Big and Strong
Feeding Children Lies Makes Them Grow Big and Strong
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3 April 2017
Feeding Children Lies Makes Them Grown Big and Strong
Lying is a common social phenomenon. In any social context, it presents itself as a factor to hijack any interaction. From a young age, introductions to the ethics of lying are conducted. Arguments as ancient as ancient as Greek philosophers often arise on whether lying in general is right or wrong – more specifically lying to children. A little lie here, a small one there, drizzle a bit of Santa Claus into the mix, and one ends up with the bad recipe for incredulity and mistrust. It’s that mistrust and damage to credulity that is a snowball that continuously rolls down the hill, getting bigger and doing more damage. There are generally two types of lies that are presented to children, ones that destroy morals and ones that are perceived as harmless or even helpful. The lies of moral destruction are clearly wrong; anybody with half a sense will know that, but the ones that are perceived as harmless or helpful can be silent and deadly. Small lies such as pretending to like an undesirable gift or saying that a child did a good job when he really didn’t might seem innocuous, but they are just as damaging. Starting that snowball of lying to a child might seem alluring with all the benefits that it holds, but looking through the viewpoints of scientists and researchers will reveal that lies introduced from an early age are damaging to a child psychologically. Many studies have been conducted to look at the effects, finding that a child’s moral understanding takes a wrong turn with age due to the increased amount of sheer lies that they are subjected to. As said age increases, so does the evaluation of others’ lying – meaning that children ends up being more inclined to tell lies themselves. They find a lie flowing off the tongue more often, their impression of severity becomes skewed, and mistrust presents itself between the child and parent.
One of the very first lies that are introduced to a child in his grueling journey to adulthood is the Santa Lie. Santa Clause is Bishop Nicolas in a red suit. Not the actual parent who did all the work, but a made-up entity that is built on a throne of lies. The parents themselves don’t support their own child lying, but what does the child think about the parent lying. As the child gets older, his or her moral evaluation of both lies and truth becomes submersed in doubt. One does not know said child’s evaluation without understanding their developments. White lies, ones that prove to be harmless and trivial such as the Santa Lie, are messages that confuse children altogether. Parents hope to teach morals such as lying is always bad, but at the same time cross their fingers and act deceitfully in order to make life easier. The child just ends up confused. Not all lies have negative consequences for the other person, and not all truths have positive consequences for someone else (Carson 1988). The delicate balance between a child’s moral understanding is impossible to determine and predict, but it does not stop people from trying to comprehend it.
Lies tend to snowball and evolve, making it easier to lie in the future. Before, the science of lying was a pseudo-science full of uncertainty, but recently studies came to light which supporting the theory that one lie makes future lies easier. This digression of the moral code and increase of corruption are seen as a numbing agent to the brain. In a study by Neil Garrett, 80 people were shown a jar full of pennies and given different guidelines on the lies that were to say. Each guideline will determine if the lie resulted in the individual ...
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Lies tend to snowball and evolve, making it easier to lie in the future. Before, the science of lying was a pseudo-science full of uncertainty, but recently studies came to light which supporting the theory that one lie makes future lies easier. This digression of the moral code and increase of corruption are seen as a numbing agent to the brain. In a study by Neil Garrett, 80 people were shown a jar full of pennies and given different guidelines on the lies that were to say. Each guideline will determine if the lie resulted in the individual receiving money, losing money, or nothing happening. With every lie and reaction, the brain patterns were noted and analyzed, more specifically the amygdala, the part of the brain that serves as the hub of emotion. Whenever deception was taking place, the activity in the amygdala would have a small peak in performance as the participant would arouse their brain and the conflict of lying would generate a reaction. But as an individual continued to lie, the amygdala would react less and less, almost like it was numbed by all the continuous lies. These lies would trigger the amygdala, but as the lying became more often, the arousal and conflict involved with the lie would become less and less, leading to decreased activity. The study observed “clear evidence of an escalation in self-serving dishonesty, such that the magnitude of dishonesty got larger and larger over the course of a block.” (Garrett 2016) Garrett’s investigation led to the conclusion that it becomes easier to lie as time goes on, stating that “These results suggest that the rate at which dishonesty escalates is best explained by self-interest.” (Garrett 2016) The more lies a child hears, the number their brain gets to them, proving that indeed lies are a slippery slope.
The aforementioned Santa Lie is but a gateway towards bigger fish to fry, this is proven by Victoria Talwar. Research by Victoria Talwar (1955) was conducted to determine how children truly comprehend lies as they grow older. Children of varying ages were shown short videos in which puppets either told a lie or the truth. Said puppet’s lie or truth would always end up hurting themselves or another. After each situation, the child would be asked his moral evaluation of the situation. Different confusing situations presented themselves. For instance, if a puppet tattled on another puppet, harm would be exacted. If puppet one blamed puppet two for his own mistakes, puppet two would receive punishment when he was in the right. If puppet one accidentally did something worth a punishment, and puppet two stepped in and took the blame while enduring a punishment, what would be the moral evaluation given? Talwar’s (1955) research concluded that children’s moral evaluation of anything is determined on harm. At a young age, the view is black and white – telling a lie is bad while being truthful is the only proper path. But as they reach an age past the Santa Lie, which is around fifth grade, their understanding of lies and truths becomes less binary. They see another dimension: consequences. Fifth grade actions such as tattling were beginning to be viewed more negatively and the consequences following a lie became more scrutinized. The older children viewed lies as something that could be considered the right choice. If a teacher is conducting a lecture when suddenly a student makes a noise, and the teacher turns around and asks who did it barring a punishment. The older children are more likely to keep their mouth shut, as to not get their peer in trouble. Such lies, which are viewed in a positive context, are birthed by the white lies (such as the Santa Lie) which parents tell their children from a young age. (Talwar, 1955)\
In order to truly understand the effect of lying in current culture, one must look at the interesting ideas which have profoundly shaped current culture. A book that contains the ideas of Immanuel Kant, The Metaphysics of Ethics, has written his many profound ideas and points on the overall subject of ethics. Immanuel Kant believed that all lies are wrong. He states that, “By a lie a man throws away and, as it were, annihilates his dignity as a man. A man who himself does not believe what he tells another … has even less worth than if he were a mere thing. … makes himself a mere deceptive appearance of man, not man himself” (Kant, 1871). Dignity is something every human has, and Kant believes that said dignity is the most important quality that human beings possess. But dignity itself plays a bigger role in Kant’s eyes. Dignity is but a small piece that makes up a human’s moral compass. With every lie that one pulls off, corruption steeps into the person and slowly corrupts them. This becomes precedent for future lies as the corruption grows, making each lie become easier. (Kant, 1871)
Although Kant makes compelling points, every philosopher has his own unique views on the subject of lying; such is the claim of Plato’s “Noble Lie.” Plato believed that a lie could be deemed proper if it was for that person’s own good. The lie then becomes noble, as it has pure intentions. He defines the noble lie saying, “When and for whom is it [a lie]... useful…? Isn't it useful against enemies, and, as a preventative, like a drug, for so-called friends when from madness or some folly they attempt to do something bad?” (Plato, 380) What happens if an individual is harboring ex slaves that are trying to run away and find a better life and some bounty hunters begin asking questions. Does the lie one says become noble? If someone is harboring Jews and Nazi soldiers come knocking on your door, does telling a lie for their own good become noble? But thankfully, childhood lies are nowhere near as brutal or savage in nature. They are perceived as innocent lies that aim to help, containing nowhere near the bearings that make them noble.
Furthermore, according to W. D. Ross’s Ethical Theory, telling the truth is a duty that parents themselves have. Ross suggests “I ‘prima facie duty’ or ‘conditional duty’ as a brief way of referring to the characteristic (quite distinct from that of being a duty proper) which an act has, in virtue of being of a certain kind (e.g. the keeping of a promise), of being an act which would be a duty proper if it were not at the same time of another kind which is morally significant. Whether an act is a duty proper or actual duty depends on all the morally significant kinds it is an instance of.” (Ross, et al., 2011) Ross sees the prima facie duties as duty propers (duties that are morally obligatory to do). These morally obligatory duties present themselves when there is a moral problem and the prima facie right and prima facie wrong are two choices that present themselves. They range from fidelity to justice, and whenever challenges are incoming and the moral compass is clouded, parents must always do what is right, or choose the prima facie right. Ross doesn’t specifically say that it is wrong to lie to one’s child, but combining his and Kant’s argument together leads to the prima facie right choice being to tell the truth. Lying to a child for any white lie rather than telling him the truth has the potential to change the way they grow and perceive lies themselves. (Talwar, 1955) No white lie is noble enough to break these prima facie duties.
In the end the ultimate question to be considered is, is it OK to lie to children? Plato thinks that if a lie is noble enough, that is good enough for the person being lied to, if it benefits them enough. But for the lie to become noble, a lie must still take place. (Plato, 2013) In Ross’s belief, the lie itself breaks the prima facie duties and hurts the person more than it benefits them. In Kant’s view each lie corrupts a person further. (Kant, 1871) This is seen with Victoria Talwar’s research that concluded that children’s views of lying differ as they get older. And although Plato poses an interesting view over a proper lie to tell, his views only account for a minute amount of lies. The white lies that are told to children do not constitute as noble, leading to a skewed moral compass.
Lies are damaging. Lies are addicting, lies destroy you and make you less human. The little white lies that are introduced to children serve almost no purpose and only end up benefitting the parent telling the lies. Although noble lies exist and can happen, a child is not ready enough to visit the moral qualms of lying and deception from a young age. This makes the teachings of honesty important to a child’s development simply because lies grow and get stronger, and while this happens corruption grows. Lies can be hurtful, but only if the parents themselves let those lies come into fruition. Lying is an action that can and should just be stopped by parents.
References
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