Scott then goes on to list four tools/techniques that must be utilized if we are to suffer “effectively” and grow. These are delaying of gratification, acceptance of responsibility, dedication to truth and balancing. He goes on to expound on each of these and dedicates the rest of the first chapter to this. As Scoot psycho-analyzes in the book he goes back to our parents and even to the time we are totally dependent on them, this section he titles “sins of the father”. Here he speaks of undisciplined, parents lacking the discipline to properly punish and guide their children resulting in the children themselves becoming undisciplined. The book goes on to list various sub-sections that deals directly with obstacles to our growth. Because of the scope of this paper these will only be briefly mentioned. Problem solving time- this speaks to our inability to attack our problems rationally. And also that we sometimes leave or avoid our problems in a hope that it will fix itself. Responsibility – Scott begins this section with the statement, “we cannot solve life’s problem except by solving them”. But to solve problems one must take responsibility . People are always looking for a “scape goat” rather than taking the “bull by its horn” and solve the problem. Escape from freedom – this speaks to how we avoid “the pain of responsibility” for our own problems which very often come through the fault of no one else.
Dedication to reality – this section speaks to us dealing with the pain of problem solving. In validating his point he states “the biggest problem of map-making is not that we have to start from scratch, but that if our maps are to be accurate we have to constantly revise them”. The world is always changing and in our dedication to reality we must change with it. This may include revisiting even our own value systems. Openness to challenge – here Scott speaks to the need of self examination. He points out that this ‘self examination’ is no easy task and as we examine ourselves we should be open to the result of examination. He makes the point that psychotherapy brings us to the level of examination and this may be one reason many persons avoid therapy or even hide the fact that they are in therapy. The psychology of the Jamaican people speaks to the fact that we do not readily accept counselling, particularly members of the male species. In Jamaica we believe that if a person is in therapy they are “mad”. As a result we have not been able to deal with the issues as outlined earlier. As guidance counsellors our task is to get our children at an early age to recognize the benefits of counselling.
In Chapter two Pecks speaks about love. As hinted earlier this is quite systematic as love and discipline are intertwined. He believes that love is the driving force behind discipline. He points out that love is very difficult to understand. “It is, according to Scott, too large , too deep ever to be truly understood. In an effort define love he (Scott) have divided it into various categories; eros, philia, agape; perfect love and imperfect love. He goes on to give a finer definition as “The will to extend one’s own our another’s spiritual growth.
The chapter goes on to take on the issue of “falling” in love. As we often hear and notice, this is the time when the male or female express love with the sentiments “I love you”. Scott believes this is a false experience for two reasons. The first is that the experience is sexually motivated as we do not fall in love with our children though we may love them dearly. Nor do we fall in love with our friends of the same sex unless we are “homosexually oriented”. The second reason is that the experience is temporary. This is not to say that we have stopped loving the person but that feeling of ecstatic lovingness passes often a time. The honeymoon ends, the bloom of romance always fades. There is then a smooth transition into what Scott describes as “The Myth of Romantic Love.” Here he delves into the issue of what we like to call ‘soul mates’. We feel that there is that special person that is made just for us and as in fairy tales once that person is found we “happily ever after”. With this perception there are many who are living quite unhappy because they have inadvertently fallen out of love. Some persons restore to infidelity while others simply file for a divorce. I feel like Scott that the issue of fallen in love is nothing more than an illusion that is used to “trap us into marriage”. I hasten to say though that this is necessary in the scheme of life and while falling in love is not love, it is a part of the great mysterious scheme. So the question then is what is true love? I believe while complex the understanding can be made simple. If we say a man loves his “field” (the place where he cultivates ground provisions) we are in effect saying his field means a lot to him, he finds it attractive and have invested time and money in it. He may jump of his bed early to make sure he tends to fit it, even to the detriment of his wife. This dedication and commitment and willingness to learn, can invariably be characterized as love. The falling in love aspect of our lives leads us to make commitments to other people from which real love may begin and also give us a foretaste of the more lasting of the more lasting mystical ecstasy that can be ours.
This book has taught me that delaying of gratification is essential in accomplishing my goals. There have been many unaccomplished goals in my life that I now see is due to my own inability to delay the pleasures and do the work. I do not however agree with Scott that this “indiscipline” is a form of mental disorder. If that were the case we would have too many counsellors with mental disorders counselling persons about their own mental disorders. What I think we have is the tendency to procrastinate and this I think is embedded in the psychology of the Jamaican populace. We like to put off what can be done today for tomorrow sometimes in a hope that we can get someone else to do it for us. We have become a society of lazy people. This is shown even in the sporting arena where athletes do not want to submit to rigorous training but want come home with the trophy. As counsellors we have to be prepared to first discipline ourselves then by extension teach our students to be disciplined. This discipline translates into our keeping our appointments properly preparing for our sessions and classes and committing to the process even when it feels unbearable.
It is my view also that much of the indiscipline and laziness spoken about earlier is stemming from the home. Jamaicans feel that “we have to be tough on children”. This I think may be coming from as far back as slavery. Where we have to “drop some lick” to get something done the way we want it. This is meaningless discipline because it is “un-disciplined discipline”. According to Scott these children will “run away from problems rather than standing to solve them” because they have not been taught how to attack and deal with issues. Again the role the counsellor is critical as we are called upon to be the bearers of hope to these children. In an age where we often hear of even teachers verbally abusing our children need some sort of release and the counsellor should be willing to and equipped to provide this. We have an awesome responsibility and as we equip ourselves let us not venture on the “Road Less Travelled”
