Discuss the ways in which marriage is represented in Pride and Prejudice.

University Degree Linguistics, Classics and related subjects

Pride and Prejudice originally titled First Impressions was first published in 1813, the second of Jane Austen’s six novels. In this essay I attempt to discuss and illustrate the ways in which marriage is represented in Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice with particular regard to respect.

Marriage is the key theme in Pride and Prejudice, and in many other Austen novels.

‘…However elegantly they conceal their triumph, marriage is the aim of all Jane Austen’s heroines and we do not see them again…’. (pg 45 Beer.P 1974)

It was the ultimate destination and ambition of most of the middle and upper class females of Miss Austen’s immediate life experience and she has perhaps used her experience and impressions in crafting her own characters reflecting the positives and the negatives of the married state. It is perhaps surprising that she never married, although there is some evidence of love affairs, there have been rumours of two, one whom died, the other deemed unsuitable and sent away.

Women in the late 18th Century had little financial independence, they were unable to own or inherit property or money, they were dependant on the dominant male in their family be it their father, husband or brother. Women were the ‘property’ of their father until they married and often marriage was the only option.

A key theme of the book is Mrs Bennett trying to marry off her five daughters and the book opens with the famously quoted sentence, illustrating the views of Mrs Bennett and many women of the time who may have been reading the book;

‘It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a great fortune must be in want of a wife.’ (pg 3)

This quote establishes the focus of the novel and reveals to the modern reader a contemporary view of society and marriage. There is no hesitation in introducing the main characters and the direction of the story; Mrs Bennett is set upon marrying off one of her daughters to the new wealthy gentleman who has recently occupied the stately home Netherfield Park, Mr Bingley.

Respect can mean many things especially with regard to marriage. Jane Austen obviously thought that respect was an important aspect of marriage or she would not have included it as a part of her novel. Probably the most common type of respect considered with regards to marriage is mutual respect within the couple. A couple can find it difficult to function without out mutual respect as is shown in Mr and Mrs Bennett’s relationship. People may marry to gain respect and social status as shown by Mrs Bennett’s s determination to marry her daughters to rich, gentleman with social standing. As shown in Mr Collins desire for matrimony under Lady Catherine De Burgh’s instruction, people marry to respect the wishes of other people. Parent and child respect is also present in this novel shown through Lydia’s elopement with Wickham and Elizabeth’s refusal to marry Mr Collins. The view on parent and child respect would have been very different then to now. Nowadays it is more expected for parents to respect their child’s choice regardless of there feelings but in the late 18th Century a child was expected to respect what their parents wanted.

Jane Austen obviously thought that respect was an important aspect of marriage or she would not have included it as a part of her novel.

There are many examples of bad marriages in Pride and Prejudice the most obvious is probably the marriage of Mr and Mrs Bennett. There is very little respect between the couple. Mr Bennett also teases Mrs Bennett. When Mrs Bennett tells Mr Bennett of Mr Bingley’s arrival he says he will not visit him, although he does and pretends not to know what Mrs Bennett means though it is perfectly clear to him and the ...

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Jane Austen obviously thought that respect was an important aspect of marriage or she would not have included it as a part of her novel.

Mrs Bennett; ‘You have no compassion on my poor nerves.’

Mr Bennett; ‘You mistake me my dear, I have a high respect for you nerves, they are my old friends…these twenty years at least.’ (pg 5)

Mr Bennett express’s a wish for respect in marriage although Mr Bennett has none in his own. When Elizabeth asks her fathers permission to marry Darcy; he implies his disrespect for his wife in saying to Elizabeth;

‘My child let me not have the grief of seeing you unable to respect your partner in life’ (pg 365)

He does not want his daughter to be in a relationship where she does not respect her husband and have him respect her in return as he does not respect his wife.

Another bad marriage is Mr Wickham and Lydia, the youngest and probably most vulnerable of the Bennett daughters. The couple elope and run to London while the army is in Brighton, Lydia shows a lack of virtue, decorum and self-respect in this sordid affair. Although she probably knows that what she is doing is wrong her silliness and Wickham’s manipulation may have caused her to not think about the respect this would cost her family. This situation would cause her family to lose a lot of their respectability and could potentially destroy her sister’s chances of marriage.

If Mr Darcy had not intervened when he did and forced Wickham to marry Lydia chances are it would not have happened. Lydia has no brother of her own to fight for her honour and as much as they tried to help, her father and uncle are not up to it. Mr Wickham probably after having his way with her would have left her with her reputation in ruins, her respectability torn to shreds and her virtue non-existent. Wickham does not love or respect Lydia and she is naïve and impulsive, she probably does not understand the seriousness of her situation or the effect it has upon her family. Neither Wickham nor Lydia has any respect for the social morals of the time; age may excuse this on Lydia’s part but not on Wickham’s. He knew perfectly well the ruthlessness of his behaviour and the consequences it would have for Lydia’s family. This also shows he has no respect for her or her family.

Mr Collins and Charlotte Lucas could be seen as either a good marriage or a bad marriage. It is a marriage of convenience, all Charlotte wishes is a comfortable home, and Mr Collins is one able to provide that for her, she does not require his love nor does she give any herself.

‘I am not romantic, you know. I never was. I ask only a comfortable home.’(pg 122)

This quote from Charlotte Lucas directed at Elizabeth shows that she is not marrying Mr Collins for love or anything other than security in life as many real women of the time did marry for security rather than love. The marriage is more a business agreement or a companionship. Mr Collins reasons for marriage are also not for love. He believes that in marrying he will be setting an example to the people of his parish but more importantly it is the wish of Lady Catherine De Burgh that he marries a suitable lady. Mr Collins and Charlotte begin with respect for each other but I think he gradually loses her respect through his constant embarrassment of her. Mr Collins shows little respect for Elizabeth in proposing to her only because he stands to inherit Mr Bennett’s estate and even less respect for her family in the same way

‘Where the male entail [Mr Collins] threatens the Bennett girls with marriages of convenience,’ (pg 136 Gilbert.S.M, Gubar.S 1979).

This quote explains that Mr Collins is potentially forcing the Bennett daughters into marriages that will provide care for them and potentially their mother as he will inherit and intends to take over the estate when Mr Bennett dies in effect leaving those still unmarried girls homeless.

An example of a good marriage is shown in that of Mr and Mrs Gardiner; they are on equal levels to each other although he is step below her socially he behaves like a gentleman and there is no evidence of the disrespect as shown with Mr and Mrs Bennett.

Jane and Mr Bingley are both sweet, reserved characters and their relationship does not develop in much but love over the course of the novel. They respect each other from the start and continue to respect each other, Jane’s acceptance of his supposed rejection demonstrates the respect she has for him my honouring what she believes to be his wish.

The relationship between Elizabeth and Darcy is a typical ‘romantic comedy’ relationship, they hate each other to begin with yet they gradually fall in love, Darcy realises and confesses it first, and they inevitably marry at the end. They first encounter one another at a ball in Meryton the town near Longbourne and he is incredibly rude and a bit of snob in the beginning, it seems the more he likes her the more she dislikes him and a significant moment when he proposes she turns him down and says;

‘You are mistaken, Mr Darcy, if you suppose the mode of your declaration affected me in any other way, than as it spared me the concern which I might have felt in refusing you, had you behaved in a more gentlemanlike manner.’ (pg 189)

This shows that she feels from his behaviour he does not respect her and in this she does not respect him. As in many modern relationships he has to earn her respect and through the rest of the novel he does this.

Although Mrs Bennett obviously would be entirely thrilled with this match between Elizabeth and Mr Darcy, not everyone shares her joy, Miss Bingley it may be suggested had possibly hoped that Mr Darcy would fall for her and Darcy’s aunt; Lady Catherine De Burgh had previously expressed her disapproval of Darcy’s affection for Elizabeth before the union as he is betrothed to his cousin Anne De Burgh. The following quote sums up Lady Catherine’s view on the matter.

‘You have no regard, then, for the honour and credit of my nephew!... Do you not consider that a connexion with you would disgrace him in the eyes of everybody?’ (pg 347)

Darcy and Elizabeth are not on the same level socially, he is extremely rich and of an old family name where as although she is the daughter of a gentleman she does not have the same wealth and social status, Patricia Beer states how this could affect a heroine like Elizabeth;

‘The heroines cannot openly and straightforwardly strive towards their goal because society forbids it.’ (Pg 47 Beer.P 1974)

This is shown in the text when Lady Catherine De Burgh visits Longbourne to make Elizabeth promise not to marry Mr Darcy. Elizabeth refuses to make any such promise now aware of her love for Darcy. Elizabeth and Lady Catherine are two very similar people in their strong opinions and they make a strong argument on both sides though Lady Catherine clearly has no respect for Elizabeth whatsoever and very little for Darcy and her own daughter either though Elizabeth show appropriate respect for Lady Catherine to avoid insolence while still making her feelings quite clear.

Although many men in fiction tend to focus on the looks of their love interest as seems an accurate assumption for Bingley many of Jane Austen’s men do put some importance on intelligence

‘Although Jane Austen is realistic enough to show men assessing women according to their beauty she consistently makes her male characters in speech put greater value on their minds.’ (Pg 47 Beer.P 1974)

This is shown by Darcy when she watches Elizabeth reading and talks of accomplishment with Miss Bingley he tries to gain her favour by indirectly complimenting her;

‘“All this she must possess,” added Darcy, “and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.”’ (Page 37)

The following line quoted from the text by Patricia Beer is said by Elizabeth to Darcy just after they become engaged.

‘“Now, be sincere; did you admire me for my impertinence?” He could hardly reply “yes” or “as a matter of fact it was for your figure.”’ (Page 50 Beer.P 1974)

I disagree with this quote as on looking at the text the way I interpreted Darcy’s answer he was in a sense saying yes to Elizabeth’s question. She says this line in a teasing way but with the respect she now feels for him in a asking him to be sincere with her.

There are good and bad marriages in Pride and Prejudice and it would seem that a key message that Jane Austen is trying to portray is that mutual respect is a significant factor in a successful relationship. Although a marriage can work without respect, it will not be a happy and equal relationship. The representation of marriage in Pride and Prejudice with specific regard to respect shows that to have mature and functional relationship a couple must have a degree of mutual respect, this is shown by the portrayal of the dysfunctional relationships of the Mr and Mrs Bennett, and Lydia and Wickham and the convenient marriage of Mr and Mrs Collins and then with the relationship of Jane and Bingley and finally Elizabeth and Darcy.

Biblography

Gilbert. Sandra M, Gubar. Susan. The Madwoman in the Attic. (1979) Yale Nota Bene, USA

Liddel Robert. The Novels of Jane Austen. (1963) Longmans, Green and Co, ltd, London

Gray. Donald J. Pride and Prejudice, An authoritative text, backgrounds, reviews and essays in criticism. (1966) W.W. Norton and Company, inc, USA

Austen J. Pride and Prejudice (1813) Headline Review, London

Beer. P. Reader, I Married Him. (1974) The Macmillan Press, London.

Reference List

Gilbert. Sandra M, Gubar. Susan. The Madwoman in the Attic. (1979) Yale Nota Bene, USA

Austen J. Pride and Prejudice (1813) Headline Review, London

Beer. P. Reader, I Married Him. (1974) The Macmillan Press, London.