While contemplating, one can find an answer to the question of how to teach a man and how to get him to speak about his feelings. Moreover, one can also realize these step-by-step changes that the hero goes through from the beginning to the end, therefore one gets a picture of the whole transformation.
Finally, by proving that nonverbal communication plays a pivotal role in the novel’s discourse, the thesis offers a different way of interpretation of the work.
Part 1.
Literature review
It is often heard that “actions speak louder than words”, a common cliché that is completely true, but in the case of disbelief it can be easily proved. Kathleen S. Verderber and Rudolph F. Verderber (2004) claimed that non-verbal communication gives more insight into emotional states than verbal messages do (p.145). In addition, these can be regarded as culturally determined.
G. W. Porter discussed the importance of non-verbal communication over verbal communication. Although, this non-verbal variety is one that can be misunderstood easily and it requires considerable skill to recognize and to interpret (p. 7). He asserted that this mode of communication is probably more important than any type of verbal communication, because “probably more feelings, intentions and emotions are communicated non-verbally than through all the verbal methods put together,” (p.3).
Consequently, the reason for favouring this topic instead of verbal communication is based on the fact that miscommunication is more to be trusted, even when verbal and non-verbal clues are in conflict. Sometimes these replace or even contradict verbal symbols (Verderber & Verderber, 2004, p.145).
This means that even if one does not express their feelings in words, the body starts to speak its own language and uncovers emotions deeply rooted in one’s self. Sometimes the eyes betray us or the face discloses the hidden truth no matter how hard they want to suppress it.
To sum it up, these non-verbal signs always tell the truth. Moreover, they penetrate life, as only 35 percent of the social meaning is conveyed verbally, while 65 percent nonverbally. (p. 122).
After these general facts, a definition for this term has to be given: “in the broadest sense it is commonly used to describe all human communication events that transcend spoken or written words,” (p.123).
1.1. Physical type of nonverbal communication:
The major types of non-verbal communication are mentioned in Verderbers’ book: it says that body motions include eye contact, facial expression, gesture and posture (p. 125). These are the ones that can be identified with Porter’s term “the physical type of nonverbal communication”.
First, eye contact has a crucial role in nonverbal communication. According to G. W. Porter the ability of reading each other’s eyes is similar to mind reading. In his article he wrote about the story of a father and his daughter who had a very strong relationship. He mentioned that they could be sitting at opposite sides of a room and by merely looking at each other’s eyes, they could decide what the other person was thinking (p. 4).
Second, facial expression is said to be an essential part of non-verbal communication. As far as the definition is concerned, it is “the arrangements of facial muscles to communicate emotional states or reactions to messages,” (Verderber & Verderber, 2004, p.124).
The first thing to catch the interest usually includes the eyes as these are the most expressive. What ranks the second place is probably the smile: it could be the other outstanding part of the face that should be taken into consideration. In other words, not only can an attractive outlook have an effect on the other people, but also the so called temporary manifestations like smiling.
One usually has an inclination to have a favourable opinion about those people who are more pleasant to look at. It means that positive outer features seem to be connected to other good inner characteristics in people’s mind and this way certain traits go together known as the “halo effect” (Forgács, 1989, p. 81). After these facts it is not surprising that a lively, happy face can provoke strong emotional responses from men.
Third, It is true that the book rather concentrates on emotions manifested on the face for the reason that it cannot be hidden, while gestures are easier to manipulate. Tony Tanner also claimed in the introduction of Pride and Prejudice that intimate physical contacts are minimized. “Hands may meet, though it is more likely to be the eyes which come together across a distinct social space,” (Austen, 1985, p. 35).
Not only can body movements be regarded an essential part of gestures but also movement of the hands, for instance touch. It is often considered to be the most basic form of communication through which one conveys a variety of emotions.
Fourth, alterations in posture can also communicate emotions meaning changes in movement or position, for instance leaning forward usually means increased attention (Verderber & Verderber, 2004, p. 125).
1.2. Aesthetic type of nonverbal communication:
Most experts agree that the role of music has changed a lot over centuries, but in general it has always been regarded as something that has a crucial impact on the everyday life of people.
In addition to this, if one agrees to the fact that the music of romanticism is the sound of revolutions shaking 19th century, it cannot be denied that the piano was the main instrument of self-expression. It created a tradition lasting until now. Various paintings could be mentioned which illustrate how important role the piano played in these ages. For instance, ’s oil-panting called “A romance” shows the piano as an inevitable piece in parlours (Székely, 2000, p. 6-80) and (Szabolcsi, 1963, p. 23-84).
In my thesis I argue that playing music is like sending a “message” to the other person meaning that sounds can show different kinds of feelings so it can be regarded as an artistic expression not transmitted by words. There is no doubt that music is considered to be a “very innocent diversion” in this age and it is obvious that people devote a lot of their time to it.
“In music feelings, emotions and even a view of life itself are projected from the performers to the listeners by its tempo and mood. Even the choice of instruments communicates the feelings of the composers,” (Porter, 1969, p. 6).
Dance is one of the recurrent motifs, which appears regularly in the novel, especially on the occasions of social meetings. G. W. Porter pointed out in his article that dance can portray different emotions like hope, fear, joy and sadness and it can be regarded as a “creative communication medium” which is not easy to understand by everyone. The art of dance is the “impinging on communication through body movements,” (p. 6).
Part 2.
Practical Part
2.1. Physical type of nonverbal communication
2.1.1. Eye contact
As a beginning, the importance of eye contact is examined through the novel which can convey many meanings like affection and love. One often comments on “looks that could kill”, while when someone tries to influence another person, they usually maintain better eye contact, but several other examples could be mentioned.
The significance of eye-contact can be demonstrated by various examples.
The first occasion for interaction in Pride and Prejudice is settled at the ball at Meryton: “Which do you mean? And turning round, he looked for a moment at Elizabeth, till catching her eye, he withdrew his own and coldly said, She is tolerable but not handsome enough to tempt me,” (Austen, 1985, p. 59).
So “first impressions” of Darcy are described by only one sentence that is easier to imagine than to paraphrase. I suggests that this “first impression” (that is also the first title of the book as I mentioned earlier) lasts only for a segment of a second, but still it has a crucial impact on Darcy. Despite the hero’s coldness, his heart is becoming more and more melted towards the end. It is also the moment, when Elizabeth takes up her dismissive attitude after overhearing Darcy’s disapproval. She becomes very proud, so they have a mutual impact on each other.
Although, first Darcy claims that “she had hardly a good feature in her face”, then “he began to find it was rendered uncommonly intelligent by the beautiful expression of her dark eyes,” (p. 70). It means that Elizabeth was able to draw his attention and after some time Darcy was contemplating and “meditating on this pleasure” (p. 73).
This perpetual change in the hero’s behaviour can be experienced by reading the text: Darcy starts to visit Elizabeth more often and the look that he has is quite disputable for Elizabeth. It was now an “earnest, steadfast gaze”, so duration or length of this facial expression is altered through the novel (p. 214). It turned to be much longer and this long staring can be regarded as quite common between lovers. It is claimed that glancing at each other happens quite often between those who love each other (Forgács, 1990, p. 176).
It is interesting that at the end of the story roles have changed and it is mainly Elizabeth who is not able to encounter his eye, she simply could not look at him (Austen, 1985, p. 375).
However, one can feel a kind of obscurity in connection with the question when Darcy’s love began to grow, it can be declared that these “pair of fine eyes” (p. 78) can convey many messages; these have a leading role in our everyday lives.
2.1.2. Smile:
Humour is also present in Pride and Prejudice and one of the greatest instruments of Austen is the ironical attitude (Bús, 2010).
“Mr Darcy is all politeness”- said Elizabeth with a very delicate irony (Austen, 1985, p. 73).
Her behaviour was mixed with pride and she could become “an object of admiration” for Darcy (p. 96). No matter how many times she refused Darcy or how reserved she acted, the hero could not resent because “there was a mixture of sweetness and archness in her manner which made it difficult for her to affront anybody,” (ibid.) Elizabeth may be regarded as a strong character in the eyes of the hero with all these laughing images that she presents.
2.1.3. Gestures:
In the first place gestures can include movement of the body. A clear example of this can be found in the text when Elizabeth refuses to dance with Mr Darcy. Although Darcy was not unwilling to receive it, Elizabeth clearly answered with resistance by sending such non-verbal messages that have an obvious meaning. First she “instantly drew back”, after that she “looked archly” reflecting her determination, then finally turned away in order to reinforce her judgement (p. 72).
Furthermore, one can observe that Elizabeth sometimes cannot hide her fiery blush that is also an essential phenomenon to examine. For instance, Norman O. Brown suggested that “blushing is a sort of mild erection of the head” which idea was also cited by Freud earlier (Austen, 1985, p. 35).
One typical example of this behaviour is cited in the 18th chapter when Elizabeth feels a kind of embarrassment because of the remarks of her mother Mrs. Bennet, she just “blushed and blushed again with shame and vexation,” communicating her feelings towards Darcy (p. 141).
2.1.4. Postures:
Changes in posture can also convey messages toward the other person.
When Darcy visited Elizabeth in one occasion, they talked about distances: Darcy “drew his chair a little towards her” saying that “the far and near must be relative” (p. 212-213).
If one would like to interpret this message, Edward T. Hall’s ideas cannot be omitted. He declared that four distinct distances are comfortable, depending on the nature of the conversation (Verderber & Verderber, 2004, p. 136). Here it can be claimed that by moving towards Elizabeth, Darcy was trying to shorten the emotional distance by entering into the personal sphere of Elizabeth even if it is not the intimate one. It is considered appropriate between those people who are close to each other.
It is an essential part of the story for the reason that this is the point when Darcy may begin to act upon his feelings and these feelings tell him they are not so far from each other emotionally. However, as far as he awakens from this fantasy, he immediately draws back his chair and continues speaking in his coldly manner.
2.2. Aesthetic type of nonverbal communication
2.2.1. Playing music:
Music can also be regarded as an artistic expression which conveys emotions and feelings without words. As I mentioned earlier, piano is an instrument which played a very important role in this age.
One striking example of the appearance of music could be the heroine’s performance in Hunsford at the location of Collin’s parish when Darcy moved closer to the keyboard in order to see Elizabeth’s countenance and way of playing. It is obvious that she provoked Darcy’s interest who listened to it carefully; consequently the melody here does in fact play a special role.
After taking all these things into consideration, there’s a need for a direct example which shows the comparison between teaching and creative expression.
In the same chapter Elizabeth and Darcy have an interesting conversation on their contrasting features. Darcy confesses that it is difficult for him to recommend himself to strangers and Elizabeth expresses her opposing view by making a comparison: she says that getting acquainted with people or conversing easily is just like playing on the piano forte. “My fingers, said Elizabeth, do not move over this instrument in the masterly manner (...) they have not the same force or rapidity, and do not produce the same expression,” (p. 209).
She is completely convinced that it is someone’s own fault if it does not work and it is practice that can be helpful in these situations. This way she tries to explain to Darcy how he should behave.
2.2.2. Dance
Dance can be regarded as another type of creative expression that conveys meaning.
There is a meeting which is set at the Lucas house. Here Sir William expresses his opinion: “There is nothing like dancing after all. – I consider it as one of the first refinements of polished societies,” (ibid. p. 72-73). This piece of quote also underlines the significance of these central events.
Here, Elizabeth has not the least intention of “dancing a reel” with Darcy, which expression could have been understood as having a hidden meaning. Here it could refer to the fact that by allowing the body to move one accepts the control of somebody else’s, therefore it could be the representation of submission.
To sum it up, by expressing resistance in dance Elizabeth sends a non-verbal message to Darcy including encouragement to “exercise” courting.
The event taking place at the Neitherfield ball appears to have the biggest impact on the personality of Darcy. After having to stand two clumsy dances with Mr Collins, Elizabeth seems to be so confused and surprised by the sudden request of Darcy that she accepts his offer.
It is widely known that balls are good occasions for conversations and getting in touch with people. This fact also contributes to the effect brought about. Now, they are exposed to being closer to each other intimately, they are required to find a subject in which both of them are familiar.
Their conversation seems to be a little unnatural because they are under the pressure of saying something. Their speech is instantly broken by intermittent pauses when they cannot utter a word and this way they are forced to try to find out the thoughts of each other (p. 133-136). The silence – as it was mentioned – here functions as an instrument that conveys meaning.
To sum it up, dancing here can be associated with the process of courting in which both parties are making steps towards the other and this can be understood as a road to emotional recognition.
Conclusion
In the problem of how to teach a man to express his feelings non-verbal communication seems to occupy a crucial role, however most people do not attach too much significance to the issue.
The thesis considered and listed the main points of this type of communication in order to highlight the impact it has on emotional development.
Body motions appeared to be the most effective motivating power in the education of the man. Eye contact and smile were proven to go together with the so-called halo effect meaning that most of the later reactions were based on these first impressions, so they are the ones that have a dominating function.
Creative expressions including playing music and dance were the next goal of the thesis to analyze. Despite the fact that these are not so easy to speak about in connection with their effectiveness in communication as being highly volatile, these are also important to be taken into consideration for the reason that this way they may get a deeper meaning. Playing music was not only used to pass time, balls were not just a kind of tradition but they were proven to serve other functions like artistic way of communication.
To sum it up, the book encourages people for self-examination and offers help to understand their life, but it also provides guidelines to change their self and also their environment for the better.
References
Bús Éva Zsuzsanna (2010) The female experience of “feeling”: novels of Jane Austen, Mary Shelley and the Brontë sisters unpublished lecture notes
Forgács József(1990) A társas érintkezés pszichológiája. Szentendre: Kairosz
Porter, George W. (June 1969) Non-verbal communications. In Training and Development Journal Vol. 23. Issue 6.
Szabolcsi Bence (1963) A zene története rövid összefoglalásban In Lukács Ernőné A kultúra világa. Budapest: Közgazdasági és Jogi Könyvkiadó
Székely Ervin (2000) A zene világa; Minden, amit a zenéről tudni kell. Budapest: Magyar Könyvklub
Tannen, Deborah (2001) Miért értjük félre egymást? Kapcsolataink a beszélgetési stíluson állnak vagy buknak. Budapest: Tinta Könyvkiadó
Jane Austen (1985) Pride and Prejudice. London: Penguin
Verderber, Kathleen S. – Verderber, Rudolph F. (2004) Inter-Act. New York: Oxford University Press