Therefore Asians think this is shameful behavior, which cannot be tolerated in the Asian community, as their children need to be slightly restricted in order to follow in the right path in the community and to help the family. However this is again just a stereotypical view. “Elders are rarely found to be living on their own, let alone in old peoples home”. Basit, T (1997). To support this Paul A Singh, (1998) says “the Muslim culture is strict but their family stick together, and no one is left on their own”. Although when it comes to education, Asian families are extremely strict for their children to educate themselves and would do anything for them to stay on the right track. Muslim parents believe that “their children’s future will be good, if they are educated, if the child is uneducated she will not be respected in this society”. Ghazi – Walid Falah (2005). Also the reason why education is so important is because then the child can stand on her own feet, and take responsibility of their own life and take control of their surrounding and society around them, rather then society taking control of them. That is the reason why Asian families restrict their children from excessive freedom, as they are “worried about the perceived influence of a largely secular society”. Basit, T (1997). From the above quote it can be concluded that Asian families are concerned with outside influences and also what other communities may say as mentioned in the quote.
The children’s parents believe by restricting freedom, their children will always be on the right track; therefore “this is the reason why some parents and community leaders even favor separate schools for Muslim girls”. Basit, T (1997). However this does not solve the problem because children “behave differently at home and at school”. Basit, T (1997).
Which means children who act differently, may not be able to talk to their parents about specific topics they need help in, which restricts their communication with their parents, and produces boundaries.
Therefore children want to discuss it with other children and teachers. These are the consequences of Muslim parents being to restrictive on their children, as their children can’t be open with their parents and discuss real important issues in society, in which can benefit them in the future. Therefore the school teachers believe “that the girls’ reticence and submissiveness was the consequence of lack of freedom”. Basit, T (1997). Some Muslim parents gave their children some sort of freedom; however it was controlled, because whenever they could go out, the girls had to take someone older with them, and still not stay out late. Most children were dropped to school in the morning, and straight away picked up after school. “Fathers also picked up and dropped their sons and not just their daughters”. Basit, T (1997). This shows their parents gave them very limited freedom by not allowing their children to walk home by themselves. However Paul A Singh, (1998) argues that “With boys there is no problem, they have so much more freedom then girls do in Muslim families”. This is however an old Muslim tradition and it has been bought about because of the culture and traditions. Therefore this shows that boys have more freedom then girls do. Therefore Fredric (1995), argues that with all children
“If parents restrict their children, for example, if he or she should be at home by 9 pm, but all her peers can stay out till 11 pm, the child will perceive that her freedom is being threatened by her parents. To resolve that freedom, she may act directly and simply stay out later”.
Therefore this shows that too much restriction by parents, allow the children to take the wrong step and to not know what’s right from wrong anymore. However this could just be an argument based on conflicting views between different ethnic groups. However J.S. Dosanjh, (1997) argues that “this tradition outlook on family unity, cohesion, stability and limitations has distinct advantages for the healthy development of young children”. Muslim parents trust their children; however they do not trust the society and people living in it. Therefore they enforce such restrictions onto their children to protect them from such disasters. This can be argued as right or wrong but it is mainly a viewpoint of a particular culture, which will not be the same as other cultures. However Muslim children understand the reasons behind their restrictions, because they have “seen the consequences of freedom”. Basit, T (1997). However Ghazi – Walid Falah, (2005), argues that “girls should get freedom, but a limited freedom, not so they can do whatever they want, but within what’s respectable”. Which therefore is reasonable, compared to no freedom at all. The above quote can be seen as very stereotypical, because it is implying that girls who have freedom are not respectable, which is not the case. However once again different cultures have a different perception of what respectable is.
Even though the English culture understands the reasons behind the restrictiveness in the Muslim culture, they still do not agree that children should be restricted with their freedom, as they have been brought up in a different culture to Muslim families. This shows that it can sometimes be difficult for people of different cultures and upbringing to understand the way in which Muslims perceive different things. Muslim families perceive the English culture as having more freedom to do as they please in life, as they “live in a nuclear family, rather then a collateral family”. J.S. Dosanjh, (1997). However Ghazi – Walid Falah, (2005), argues that
“Embracing a notion of freedom with limits could also be considered as an oppositional stance toward the dominance and perceived freedom of the “West” where women are believed to have “total” freedom that has resulted in nefarious self – indulgence, the breakdown of the family, and a general loss of morals”.
Therefore this shows that people with too much freedom can get corrupted, yet people with slightly less freedom, can enjoy life as well as be on the right path in society. However some children are used to staying at home and enjoying their time either by “cooking, reading or playing games”. Basit, T (1997). This is however jus an assumption that has been made that many people may disagree with depending on there traditions and culture.
In conclusion it shows that traditions, culture and upbringing play a major role in today’s society. People’s perception of things differs mainly because of these factors. From the essay it can be concluded that the way in which Muslim families bring up their children, differs a fair bit from English cultures. This is because the traditions in the Muslim culture can be seen as strict therefore they will reinforce these traditions to their children. To a certain extent it is understandable how Muslim parents are restrictive of their children. However this may not be very obvious or understandable for some people, especially people who have been bought up in completely different environments. For example it may be easier for Hindus to understand the way muslins are bought up because they have some similar views as they are of the same overall ethnic minority or being Asian. However for an English person to try and understand, it may be harder because they are bought up completely differently, making it a lot harder. This can explain why they do perceive and understand things differently and think different things are right and wrong. It can sometimes be hard for Muslim families to find the right balance between how much freedom to give their children, because they may want to give them freedom but of they take on the stance of their culture they will have to reconsider how much freedom they give their children. This can bring up the topic of British Muslims, for whom it can sometimes be hard trying to stick to their original traditions in a place which has totally opposite traditions.
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Bibliography
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Basit T, (1997), ‘I want more freedom, but not too much’: British Muslim girls and the dynamism of family values. Gender and Education, Volume 9 (4).
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Fredric M. Levine, Evelyn Sandeen, (1995), Conceptualization in Psychotherapy, Lawrence Erlbaum Associates
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Ghazi – Walid Falah, Caroline Nagel, (2005), Geographies of Muslim women, Guilford Press
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J.S. Dosanjh, Paul A, S. Ghuman, (1997), Child- Rearing in ethnic minorities, multilingual matters
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Paul A Singh, (1998), Asian Teachers In British Schools, Multilingual Matters
