Keller himself relies on his relationship with Paul to slowly come to terms with his tragic past. For Keller, Paul reminds him of his son Eric, and he claims to have taught Paul with ‘A father’s hardness’ (p 116). The affection he develops for Paul through their relationship allows him to trust others and feel emotion again, especially the love he once had for his wife and son. Thus, despite Keller’s past, he too needed the relationship with Paul to understand himself and come to terms with his guilt and loss.
Paul’s relationship with Rough Stuff is also an essential element in comprehending himself. Although his relationship may be considered a negative one, he still gains a better understanding of himself and the world around him. His relationship with the band grants him social status and acceptance amongst peers that allows him to define himself socially.
He also comes to realize his musical preference through the relationship with the band, as he prefers classical music to rock and roll, which he describes as ‘music to shit by’ (p 91) and something he cannot take seriously. This is a valuable learning experience for him, which has only come as a result of his relationship with the band. The members of Rough Stuff, in particular Rick Whitely, are a stark contrast to classical music and Keller’s world. Paul realizes he doesn’t want to look up to Rick as a role model nor lead his life like the other band members. Thus his relationship with the band allows him to define and understand himself more clearly.
Through his relationships with Megan and Rosie, Paul learns the difference between love and physical attraction. Paul desired Megan and she was his first sexual encounter, but soon realized that she was shallow and ‘too used to being desired’ (p 80). This is contrasted with his relationship with Rosie, who provides support for him from the start. This is especially the case later in his life, when Rosie’s letters are described to have ‘powers of healing’. (p 128) This shows Paul’s dependence on Rosie and how he is able to define himself through his marriage and romantic relationship with Rosie.
Like Maestro, the film Sliding Doors (1998) directed by Peter Howitt also uses contrasting romantic relationships the way relationships allow humans to comprehend and define themselves and others.
After discovering the lies and deception behind her relationship with boyfriend Gerry, Helen meets James who represents the many aspects of a positive relationship such as support, understanding and communication. With this new relationship, Helen undergoes a change in image, an increase in self-confidence and she starts her own business. By observing the change in Helen’s character as the film progresses we are able to see the influence a positive relationship has on the individual. This is further emphasized by he two relationships being juxtaposed throughout the film through the parallel worlds Helen is living in, to show negative influences.
Her body language, lighting and costume are all visual techniques used to show the change she undergoes. For example in the world where she discovers her boyfriend cheating, Helen gets her hair cut short and dyed blonde. This adds to her youthful, fresh image as well as allowing viewers to easily distinguish between the two worlds.
In both worlds Helen is able to gain a better understanding of those around her as well as herself through the relationships mentioned above.
The novel Family Tree by Katherine Ayres explores familial relationships and their importance in an individual’s life. Tyler discovers her father is Amish one day after school when the students have to create family trees. Her father is cold about the issue and she herself finds it hard to accept the idea that she is ‘strange and old fashioned’ (p 27). Through the loving relationship with her father Tyler undertakes a journey of self-discovery similar to Paul in Maestro. Their relationship allows her to find out about herself and her dead mother. She is able to define herself in terms of a cultural heritage and she is proud of both her mother and father. This is shown when she finally decides to present to the class the story of her family and who she really is compared to being ashamed at the start.
The discovery of Tyler’s personal identity would not have been possible without the loving relationship with her father. In giving her a trunk filled with her mother’s belongings and the books she’s written, Tyler gains a true understanding of the Amish instead of having stereotypical views. She realizes that they have ‘such different and wonderful beliefs’ (p 104). This shows that at that point in the novel, Tyler finally accepts and understands who she really is.
Tyler also gains a better understanding of the Amish through her parents’ past. She realizes they are devoutly religious yet also strict in the way her father lost connection and was forbidden from his family as soon as he married her mother. At first Tyler is angry with this but she gradually understands and even writes letters to relatives on both sides to find out more about them.
Conflict between Tyler and her father occurs when she discovers he lied to her grandparents when she was a baby, telling them she had died along with her mother in the car crash. However, the conflict in their relationship is soon resolved. In fact, their relationship benefits from the increased mutual understanding as a result that helps Tyler in finding out about her relatives and their culture.
Through all the relationships portrayed, in particular the relationship between Tyler and her father, is it evident human beings need relationships to understand themselves and others. In this case Tyler discovers her personal identity and her background, developing personally on the whole.
All three texts mentioned above support the idea that human beings need relationships in order to define and comprehend themselves as individuals and the world around them. Relationships shape our values and help establish a self-identity needed for personal growth. For Paul in Maestro, relationships support his journey in the novel towards maturity. Similarly, Helen in Sliding Doors relies on positive relationships to discover the potential within her, whilst Tyler discovers her background and identity through familial relationships with the support of her friend. In all relationships discussed above, it is evident that all relationships differ greatly in terms of the individuals and the issues involved. However it can be seen that the similarity between all these relationships is that human beings need them in order to define and comprehend themselves and the world around them.