The differences between men and women

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For centuries, the differences between men and women were socially defined and distorted through a lens of sexism, discrimination, and ignorance. Recognizing, understanding, discussing as well as acting skillfully in light of the differences between men and women can be difficult. Our failure to recognize and appreciate these differences can become a life long source of disappointment, frustration, tension, and eventually our downfall in a relationship. Not only can these differences destroy a promising relationship, but most people will grudgingly accept or learn to live with the consequences. Eventually they find some compromise or way to cope. People tend to accept what they don’t understand when they feel powerless to change it.

Relationships between men and women are not impossible or necessarily difficult. Problems simply arise when we expect or assume the opposite sex should think, feel, or act the way we do. It’s not that men and women live in completely different realities. Rather, our lack of knowledge and mutual experience gives rise to our indifferences. The prejudices of childhood are hard to outgrow. Anne Roiphe, author of “ Confessions of a Female Chauvinist Sow,” illustrates how stereotyping men with her mother as a child developed her own hidden prejudices, class assumptions, and an anti-male humor that gave her a sense of superiority. “ Boys were fickle and likely to be unkind, my mother and I knew that, as surely as we knew they tried to make you do things in the dark they wouldn’t respect you for afterwards, and would spoil your rep.” Anne Roiphe continues, “ Boys appeared to be hypocritical, self- seeking, exploitative, untrustworthy, and very likely to be showing off their precious masculinity.”(Roiphe, Anne 504).

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Men are equally exposed to gender typing of women at an early impressionable age. Boys are taught an unspoken code of conduct by which to live. “ The brittle male conducts his life by his ideas about masculinity. Living up to the image is the important thing. Though the moment-to-moment experience may be painful and generally unsatisfying for him. His mind is continually telling him what he is supposed to be. As long as he is able to be that way, he can fend off the inner demons that threaten him with accusations of not being a real man.” (Goldberg, ...

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