Roughly a half an hour later we were allowed in to see him one at a time.
I had seen my Grandfather sick before he had battled with cancer 5 years earlier. The chemotherapy that he received was very rough on him, but even that could not have equipped me for what I was about to see when I walked through the hospital room doors. He was pale almost a grayish colour, he was weak and couldn’t remember my name. I was the only person that he didn’t seem to recognize. Eventually he came around, and remembered me. He could not walk, not from a lack of trying on his part, but the nurses would not let him understandably we were not sure what had happened to him yet. The doctor had been gone for about 3 hours when he finally returned, and said that there was nothing wrong with my Grandfather; all of the tests had come back negative. The nurses said that it would take about an hour before he could be discharged. As we were waiting my Grandfather was getting very restless he could not wait to get home, and just go to bed. My family could not believe that there was nothing wrong with him he had been unconscious for over a half an hour, but if the doctor said there was nothing wrong we believed him. That seemed to be enough for my family, but not enough for me I became very frustrated that they were letting him go home. I thought that they should have at least kept him over night for observation. Despite my feelings we later took my Grandfather home, and for the rest of that night I stayed with my Grandparents, because I had been trained in CPR and First Aid just incase anything else had happened.
We were blessed nothing had happened that night, and for the rest of that week. Saturday came quickly, and I received another phone call from my Grandmother this time she was at Oshawa General, and she said that my Grandfather had a seizure. I left work quickly, and went over to the hospital to meet my dad, and my sister who had already arrived. I went into to see my Grandfather we were only allowed in one at a time, because he was in the emergency room. They ran an MRI, and a CAT scan. My Grandfather stayed in the hospital for a week before he was released. The results came back that he had a lesion on the right temporal lobe of the brain. At this point the doctors were not sure if it was cancerous or not; they would need to do more test. If you can believe it 5 months later, and they still cannot tell us what is wrong with my Grandfather. As we are waiting for the ER doctors, and a team of specialist to tell us what is wrong with my Grandfather he has gone into a severe state of depression. His health keeps deteriorating. He now also has kidney stones that cannot be passed, and need to be surgically removed. My Grandfather in his state of depression has decided that life is not worth living. He has decided even though the kidney stones cause him pain he does not want to have surgery. He says that he is dieing are there is no point in going through surgery, and the recovery pain. Although my Grandfather and I have never gotten along it is still hard to see your Grandfather say that he is dieing, and does not want anyone’s help.
I have never dealt well with sickness when it comes to my family. I do not believe that I deal well with his depression. It just does not seem right that my family will just let him sit on the couch, and not leave the house. I think that it is my faith that makes me strong in desperate situations. My Grandfather does not share the same faith, and that makes me angry with him. I want to see him have faith, and to want to get better. I believe that if you put yourself down, and say that you are dying that is exactly what happens. All I can do though is understand that he does not feel in control of his life, and I can help him get out of the house more, and try to understand that this is how he is. All I will do the best I can to cope with his way of life. The way he feels is not in my hands, it is in his and all I can do is try to make things better for him, and find away to make him feel like he has some control over his life. If these are his last days I will do my best to make these his best days.
Reflective Analysis
I believe that the three therapeutic communication techniques that I used or did not use in this journal entry are:
Remaining Silent- when I was sitting with my Grandmother at the hospital. I was silent. I believe that this was a moment where she didn’t need anyone sitting there talking a mile a minute to her. She just needed to feel like she was not alone. I think that this is a very important skill for a nurse to have, because sometimes the client just needs to know that there is someone there that they are not alone. If they do need to say something the nurse feels comfortable with them, and is willing to listen to anything that they have to say.
Acknowledging- I think that I did not use this skill very well with my Grandfather. I do not believe that I acknowledge his feelings about his illness. I was to busy with my feelings that I did not listen carefully enough to his, and acknowledge how he must feel frustrated, and not in control of his life.
Listening – I have always thought of my self as a good listener, but looking back at this journal entry I believe that I could have improved on this. I was frustrated and angry with my Grandfather for being depressed, and sad all of the time. I did not sit down, and let him tell me how he feels. I was to preoccupied in telling him that he should not feel that way. I did not listen to the exact reason on why he felt that way.
My personal assessment on my therapeutic communication techniques is that I did not do very well. I believe that my cognitive skills in my encounter with my Grandfather’s illness need improvement. We were functioning in isolation. In this situation I think that my Grandfather, and I needed to be more rational. Listen to each other then make a logical decision based on those facts, and results that the doctor has given us so far. I also do not believe that we were very affective. My Grandfather, and I have so much history that we need to put that aside so that we could become a working unit. We let our opinions, and work ethics get in the way of my Grandfathers emotional improvement. For instance when I got angry and frustrated with him for being depressed, and saying that he was dieing. We were not working affectively. We need to put both of our beliefs together to work effectively. For our psychomotor skills my Grandfather and I could come together, and work as a team. With me taking nursing in college I have access to a lot of great data that maybe could calm him or give him some hope. I just need to sit down and talk to him and make him realize that I am not who I used to be, and that I just want to help him.
The two changes that I would want to make with my Grandfathers situation is become a better listener. Learn when to talk, and when to just sit there and listen. To achieve this I will spend more time with my Grandfather, maybe go for a walk with him this would give him a chance to tell me what is going on with him emotionally. Using the skills that I have learned in nursing these past few months maybe I can pick up on what is wrong even though he might not come out and say it directly. The second thing that I think that I could improve on is our teamwork. I have always been a good team player I have been on sports teams all of my life, but when it comes to my family my team work is not as strong. I believe that for me, and my Grandfather to improve our psychomotor skills we need to work through our past, and that is exactly what we are going to work on we are going to come together as a team.
