On the other side, there is information on the home and motor insurance services. This includes all of the things on offer, the special services and extras available and contact details. These phone numbers can be used to obtain more information about the service, as can the coupon at the bottom of the page, which can be filled in and sent by post.
3.1 a iii – Layout and Structure – The information on the back of the leaflet – motor and home insurance – are clearly separated to avoid confusion, with the phone numbers underneath each. The information itself is in clear bullet points, stating what the services offer, the extras available, etc.
3.1 a iv – Language/Tone – The language on this leaflet is not simple, but not at all difficult to understand. This indicates that the service is being aimed at the average person, to cover a wide range of the 50+ markets. The tone is not formal, as not to make it daunting, but it isn’t exactly conversational either. The tone of the leaflet is informative, but in a more relaxed kind of way. This is more likely to appeal to the older generations, which is who SAGA provides their service for.
3.1 a v – Clarity/Ease of Understanding – The clear layout enables the reader to easily take in the information and understand it. The light and informative tone gets this information across without overcomplicating it, so it is very easy to understand.
The text is clear and easy to read and the contact details on the form stand out. The form is laid out clearly and simply for ease of filling in, thus making the service appeal to a vast number of people in the market SAGA aims for.
3.1 a vi - Spelling, Grammar and Typographical Errors – There are no spelling, grammatical or typographical errors in this document.
3.1 a vii – Summary of Errors Identified – There were no errors identified when reviewing this document.
3.1 a viii – Suggested Improvements – There is nothing that could be improved in this document. The illustration and information about the award Saga received are likely to draw the attention of possible customers. The information is clear, concise and just the right size, font and colour to be easily read. The contact details stand out and the form is simple to fill in. All in all, this is an excellent promotional leaflet.
3.1 b – Dimplex Fan Heater Installation and Operation Instructions
3.1 b i – Purpose – This leaflet is to assist with the installation and operation of the Lincoln LIN20BR / 20BL Dimplex Fan Heater. These instructions are included with the heater and include safety advice and maintenance information. So, this document is for anyone who purchases a Dimplex Fan Heater.
3.1 b ii – Content – The leaflet includes a diagram with all the dimensions of the heater, so someone who buys the product can ensure they have enough space for it. There is general information about the heater, plus important information about installation, including electrical connecting and repairing. There is full instructions for operating the heater, as well as information for cleaning and maintenance. There are diagrams to assist with various installation, operation and maintenance procedures.
3.1 b iii – Layout and Structure – The title and heater information is across the top of the first side, then the main text is in two columns. The subheadings are in bold and capitals to ensure they stand out. The diagrams are in the columns, where the text is that they relate to. There is a footer on the bottom of the second side, containing the company logo, address and telephone number. All this put together gives the document a professional feel, which is always reassuring if it instructs on how to do a difficult procedure.
3.1 b iv – Language/Tone – The tone is rather formal, as some simpler words have been substituted with larger ones and the word order has been arranged specifically to add this formal tone. The style is of an informative piece of writing, as one would expect from instructions. Some of the language used would only be clearly understood by someone who had gained some experience in this field, which hints that Dimplex do not want everybody to be installing their heaters. This is because if a mistake is made during the installation process which could cause injury or even death due to the high output of electricity. As printed on the document, there is always the risk of fire, electric shock and injury. Therefore, this document is primarily for professional electricians or people with some experience in the field.
3.1 b v – Clarity/Ease of Understanding – As previously mentioned, the language is not clear and easy to understand if you do not have any previous experience, but those who have will find these instructions easy to follow accurately. The layout of two columns adds to the clarity of this document, as does the simple diagrams to aid installation and maintenance. The text is just the right size for to fit onto the leaflet and still being clear and easy to read. Also, the important safety advice is printed in bold to ensure that it is clear and stands out. People will then be drawn to reading this important information.
3.1 b vi – Spelling, Grammar and Typographical Errors – In the third paragraph of the “General” section, the typist has placed a comma in the sentence, “Switching allows half or full heat, and control of the output is provided by a thermostat.” There should be no comma here, as there is an “and” afterwards.
In the last paragraph of the “General” section, comma has been missed out. It reads, “Before connecting the heater check that the supply voltage is the same as that stated on the heater.” There should be a comma between the words “heater” and “check”.
In the “Important Safety Advice”, the eighth bullet point has a comma missing. It reads, “In the event of a fault unplug the heater.” A comma is required between “fault” and “unplug”.
A comma has also been missed out in the second paragraph of the “Installation in a fireplace opening” section. “At the rear of the heater two adjustable supports are provided…” has been written, when there should be comma used between “heater” and “two”.
The second paragraph on the back of the leaflet doesn’t sound right at the end. It reads, “Arrange the coals on the grate, for the best effect the smaller pieces should be placed at the front and the larger pieces to the rear.” A more effective sentence structure would be, “Arrange the coals on the grate – for the best effect, place the smaller pieces at the front and the larger ones towards the rear.”
The warning in the “Maintenance” section also has a comma missing. It should read, “Warning – Before undertaking any maintenance or cleaning, remove plug or disconnect from the electricity supply.” Instead, there is no comma between “cleaning” and “remove”.
In the “Lamp Replacement” section, there is another comma missing in the first paragraph. When it reads, “To gain access to the lamps the grate/fuel effect must be removed,” there should be comma between “lamps” and “the”.
Likewise, the second paragraph of this section also has a comma missing. “Carefully lift the grate/fuel effect, complete with coals, clear of the lip at the bottom of the glass screen, withdraw and set aside,” is how it should read, when there has been no comma printed between “effect” and “coals”.
Two more commas have not been added where they belongs in the “Cleaning” section. The third paragraph says, “To remove any accumulation of dust or fluff the soft brush attachment of a vacuum cleaner should be occasionally used to clean the outlet grille of the fan heater located under the canopy.” If it were accurate, it would read, “To remove any accumulation of dust or fluff, the soft brush attachment of a vacuum cleaner should occasionally be used to clean the outlet grille of the fan heater, located under the canopy.”
The fourth paragraph of this same section contains another error – yet another absent comma. “When dry, replace the coal pieces and arrange as previously described for best effect,” is how it should read, when instead, there us no comma in the sentence.
Finally, the last error in this document is another omitted comma, located in the last paragraph of the last section, “After Sales Service.” “Let us know your difficulty quoting the model number and series letter of appliance,” is what has been printed, when there should be a comma in place between the words “difficulty” and “quoting”.
3.1 b vii – Summary of Errors Identified – The typing and grammar of this document have not been handled very well at all. There is one incident of incorrect word order and many cases of missed out commas. This makes the publishers of this document look stupid and inexperienced, especially when the language attempts to be formal and intelligent.
3.1 b viii – Suggested Improvements – I suggest that the comma usage in this document should undergo a complete overhaul in order to give the writing a professional and experienced feel. Apart from the drastic action needed to be taken in this area, the document is very good. The layout is clear, as are the diagrams and the information within is accurate and to the point. It’s just a shame the grammar has let it down.
3.1 c – Comparing the Documents
The two leaflets reviewed in this report are very different, therefore incredibly difficult to compare effectively – yet there is still a clear winner in this field. The SAGA advertisement leaflet is by far the most professionally written and presented, with an excellent tone to the writing for the target group for which it is aimed at. The Dimplex leaflet is good with the clear and simple layout and the tone must have been carefully considered for it to be suitable for people experienced in electrical appliances, but the SAGA leaflet’s tone is still more effective and appropriate for it’s target group.
The Dimplex leaflet’s structure, layout and content has evidently had a lot of effort put into it, with it being effective, clear and perfect for it’s purpose. SAGA has also done this with their leaflet, using colour to attract attention and including commendations from other sources. It has included lots of positive information and an easy source to find out more.
