Use of irregular sentence lengths to mimic speech and also demand the listener’s attention, e.g. “How strange.” “Her grey eyes…..ye my angles”. This also avoids a monotonous piece that is predictable and boring. Use of an imperative right at the start that commands the audience to ‘Listen’. Throughout the character asks questions-this to give the impression she is interacting with the audience. These together with declarative sentences convey the story. The repetitive use of “but” by the character ensures the audience is constantly expecting to hear more.
The monologue is conveyed by using widely varying vocal tones and volumes to express emotions. Successive changes in tone e.g. defiant, remorse, sadness etc. are used to give an impression of confusion.
Negative connotations of words give the character’s views without her directly stating them e.g. on describing the stillbirth or the king “dissimulation and malice as a pit of toad-headed serpents”. This creates a very visual picture but also implies her feelings a toad is an ugly creature, the king is an evil serpent masquerading as a harmless ugly toad.
These negative connotations contrast affectionate ones such as when she describes her daughter, “gentle princess”.
Sound effects break up the dialect maintaining listener alertness, but also help visualisation e.g. a stone floor, a key - she is locked in, pacing, counting rosemary beads etc. Further throughout silent pauses intercept, for contrast, drama and effect. The silent pauses also give the listener time to keep up.
Strikingly long compound sentences are used with the conjunction ‘and’, for example the sentence “her grey eyes…etc.” This is to give the effect of rambling, chaos even confusion. Further the mixture of complex and simple, long and short sentences creates an edge of madness in the character.
This is a historical monologue aimed at an adult audience, therefore to maintain some authenticity. Archaic features e.g. ‘tis are used. I studied Shakespearean plays and noted lexis and style of speech and mimicked this. However I decided not to end verbs in ..eth this was hard work for listeners to follow and rather heavy for an afternoon play. Other archaic conventions used are compound words e.g. ‘would not’ rather then contracted words e.g. ‘wouldn’t’. I carefully chose sentence word orders to sound dated e.g. “whose body also was destroyed”.
The language is formal register to convey royalty. Constant reference to religion emphasises her belief of being innocent.
Lexis and vocabulary are chosen throughout to create graphic images for the listener thereby maintaining interest e.g. burning soul, wretched wife, futile womb etc. For informed readers there are factual references e.g. Defender of the Faith, angles of the highest order.
I scripted the monologue so the character reveals her story bit by bit, the listener should follow without being told directly that this is a woman betrayed by her husband a king. She believes she is being executed for not having a son. I wanted to convey that following her stillbirth, she has a nervous breakdown and starts seeing angels who speak to her. At this point the listener should realise she is addressing these angles. Following listener feedback, my initial draft failed to convey this. To make it clearer I altered the wording and included a pause “came to me suddenly the most divine peace that could arrive (silence 3 seconds)” which seemed to work better.
I make no reference to Boleyn until the end. The last sentence intends to be a haunting climax and the tone is vital. Although informed listeners may deduce who the character is earlier, even they should be left wondering how was she able to know Elizabeth’s legacy- were the angels real?
Word count
Commentary –741
Monologue – 1,247
