{{--Opening Video-}}


The video screen comes down and the video plays.  Once the video has finished, the room will stay pitch black and the video screen will raise.

[The scene opens up to show Ronnie sitting at a school desk. He has buck teeth and is wearing a hilarious wig. He is wearing an anorak and is playing with a calculator as he looks across the room where a group of friends (Tommy, Hannah, Potty, Charlotte etc) are standing. He sighs and watch them laugh and giggle. Tommy glances at Ronnie and sniggers. Ronnie turns around and sobs. The teacher then comes in and tells everyone to sit down. Ronnie is left alone sitting in the corner. The teacher stands by the board, writing information onto the board.]

Teacher: So, this week’s essay is an imaginative piece of writing. I want you to imagine your perfect moment. What your best moment would be. What would make you smile? It could be winning a race, scoring a goal in an important football match or passing your GCSEs with flying colours. It’s due in for Friday, so you better get on with it!

[The scene cuts to another scene, where Ronnie is sitting in the school library. He tries to turn on a computer, but it doesn’t work. He then tries another computer and they don’t work. He tries all of the computers in the library, and none work. He then approaches a librarian.]

Ronnie: Excuse me, the computers don’t seem to work.

Librarian: I’m sorry Ronnie, none of the computers work today, however, as you’re the only person who ever visits the library, here is a special typewriter I found!

[Ronnie sits down on a chair as the librarian goes downstairs. She comes back upstairs with a typewriter.]

Ronnie: Wow! A typewriter!

Librarian: Yes, I was given it by a gypsy. I don’t know if it contains any gypsy power, but it will do for the time being.

Ronnie: Thanks A Lot!

[Ronnie starts typing on the typewriter, reading it out aloud.]

Ronnie: My Perfect Day… It was a Thursday, Thursday 16th January 2003, everyone had bought their ticket and they were sitting in their seats. They didn’t realise what was going to happen. They had seen the misleading posters, but they had never imagined anything that was about to happen. The Ronnie Joice Show was upon us!

{{--The Ronnie Joice Show Introduction-}}


A spotlight will rush around the stage area where Tommy will be running around.  Once the bit where Tommy shoots his gun, the spotlight ends and normal lighting begins.

[The video ends as the James Bond theme plays. A spotlight rushes around the stage as Tommy, dressed up as James Bond, runs around the floor. As the correct moment occurs, Tommy shoots his shot gun, and Ronnie is sitting in the audience, with buck teeth, goofy glasses, a strange wig and a peak cap. He gets up, shouting at Tommy!]

Ronnie: Oi, you could of taken someones eye out with that!

Tommy: What?

Ronnie: You heard me, you don’t wanna use a fake gun, you wanna use a real one.

Tommy: Excuse me?

Ronnie: We came here for a good show, come on, give it to us!

Tommy: What? You think you can do better?

Ronnie: I, I, I, I Think I can!

[Ronnie moves to the front of the stage where he takes the microphone from Tommy. There is a desk situated next to the stage (where the piano usually is) and Ronnie goes up there and sits at it.]

Ronnie: Welcome to the Ronnie Joice show, and for the next few hours, I will be bringing you some of the finest entertainment possible. With performances from such classic artists, dead and alive, and other goodies, this is going to be like, like, watching 20 trains in a day! Isn’t train spotting great? I particularly like the bit where you can sit down, with a flask of hot soup and dip your sandwich into it while waiting for the Service 32 from London Victoria arrive after a crash in Luton has delayed it. It’s a great feeling. I know another feeling, being scared of your faces looking at me. Oh no, I’ve soiled my pants, I better get into that machine, the ‘cool machine’ to make me a ‘cool’ Ronnie Joice!

[Ronnie gets up from the desk and gets up onto the stage. The stage curtains close. On the PA system, Ronnie talks like he is writing the story….

#And Ronnie walked into the ‘cool machine’, where after a few moments, Ronnie wasn’t just any ordinary performer, he was the greatest alive. He decided it was time for ‘The Ronnie Joice Show’ to be shown to the public and so he entered the machine. The effects were not what he expected though; it was an awful time in the history of the world… it was 1996! Girl power was booming, England were being beaten by Germans and Michael Jackson still looked like a freak. Ronnie had to travel through the time periods to find out just how great music was then to find out how to become cool! #

{{--The Ronnie Joice Show Part 1-}}

[The curtains open, and Ronnie, dressed as Elvis performs #Hound Dog#.]

Ronnie: Thank you, thank you very much. Now, that intro was interesting… I tell you, this Elvis costume will stick with me forever, but hey, it’s all for a good cause! Welcome to my show, the Ronnie Joice show, and tonight, we’ve got some treats in store for you! Of course, I’m not going to tell you what they are, but it won’t be one for the money, two for the shoes, instead it will be some classic entertainment coming your way over the next 2 hours! Can you believe it actually snowed this week?  Snow and England just do not mix, but it was great that in Storrington, they celebrated the pond next to Tescos frozen by throwing a council bin into the pond.  Once again, intelligent behavior!

Join now!

You know, are you guys, and gals, ready for this?

[Waits for scream.]

Ronnie: I said, are you lot ready for this?

[Screaming again.]

Ronnie: Ok, ok, it feels like Party in the Park now! Tonight is very music orientated, but let’s think about how great The King was. Before anyone did anything, Elvis did everything… And tonight, we’re going to prove it!

How you might ask, well, how many times have you seen a pop star who sold so many records break-dance?

[Funky Hip Hop music plays.]

Ronnie: So, exclusively for you guys here tonight, Elvis Presley… break-dancing!

[Ronnie ...

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