Another poem I have chosen to study is called ‘the sick equation’ written by Brian Patten. What is a healthy equation? One that works, that provides an answer. Patten is implying that the ‘sick equation’ is one that doesn’t work. Signifying that his parents don’t work well together. At the beginning of each poem ‘this be the verse’ and ‘the sick equation’ they both have a point of comparison. Both poets bring the image across that a relationship is a fixed and bad thing by Patten using ‘absolute’ and Larkin using ‘be’. Are both poets establishing the same message? Patten’s poem talks about the difference at home and school. ‘In school I learned that one and one made two and could have been engraved in stone, an absolute I could not question or refute’. Patten gives out the impression that at school everything has an answer however at home nothing adds up. He the goes on to use the ironic message ‘but home sweet home’ he uses irony to get the message across that he doesn’t care. I feel using irony has more of an impact that not using it. In the second verse Patten uses the strong word ‘raw’. He describes that he is feeling hurt and the hatred towards his parents has grown strongly. ‘In that raw cocoon of parental hate’. ‘I came to believe how it was best that one remained one, for two, one at least would suffer so’. Here Patten explains that for the best its better to keep yourself to yourself, as if you are to become committed at least one of you would hurt. He objects with his mum and dad being together as one of them is always hurting.
In the second verse Patten is applying that he had love but let it go by the comment ‘believing this I threw away so many gifts- I never let love stay enough to take to take root, but by thinking myself of too little worth I crushed all its messengers. His parents have let love go for him, they have spoiled love for him, the way his mum and dad acted towards each other impacted into Patten that love is not a good thing. He goes on to stay ‘I grew-or did not grow-and kept my head down low, and drifted with the crowd’. Even though he grew on the outside in height he still remained immature on the inside.
‘I stayed apart, stayed one claiming separateness was out of choice, and at every wedding ceremony I saw the shadow albatross- divorce- fall over groom and bride’. By saying this it implied that for some time that Patten never had the courage to have a full time relationship, as he was scared that the same might happen to him that happened to his parents. It feels that Patten sees a divorce at the beginning of a wedding.
In the final verse Patten states that he can’t blame his parents for the way he turned out. (Unlike Larkin) he explains to the reader that he can’t judge everyone for the way they are or that way they have been brought up. He changes his opinion on his parents towards the end of the poem. Its absurd to believe all others are as damaged as we’, ‘the lesson that our parents taught’ he clearly feels he cannot blame his family for what had happened to him now and in the past. He can forgive and forget, unlike Larkin.
Unlike Larkin, Patten chooses to only highlight the positive side of a relationship. Pattens choice of words hammer to message into the head that not all relationships are bad, just because he had a bad experience he learnt that you will always be able to love someone. The language he uses relates to his loneliness and hurt in his past. He expresses his hurtful past through his poetry.
Another poem I looked at is ‘looking for dad’ again by Brain Patten. You can guess what Patten is going to talk about before reading it for yourself. His dad. The poem is about a boy who thinks his dad has ran away because he hadn’t tided his room, when really it was just another relationship ending disruptly. The poem is set out from the others, when you look at a poem the first thing you will notice is the fact is has verses. ‘Looking for dad’ is all joint together without any verses.
‘Were full of gloom’ this is a good entry into the poem. Using the word ‘gloom’ sets the atmosphere up for something horrible. The word is kept repeating throughout the poem to keep the atmosphere going. Whenever his mum and dad would argue they would yell ‘tidy up your room’. This is a good method of giving out sympathy whilst giving the poem a bounce. It is a strong comment to make, as it is one of the strongest quotes in the poem. This is as it means so much to the little boy as he thinks it’s his fault. Patten changes the mood of the atmosphere to give an emotional feeling when you read the quote ‘simply vanished’. The quote is telling the reader that the dad is no longer there and is asking for a cry of sympathy. ‘Hope he would come back soon’. The sadness for the little boy really seems to take its turn here. The hope for his dad to come back must have left the little boy in despair. Pattern is really asking for a lot more sympathy when he quotes ‘I was in despair’. Also when he put the quote ‘when I woke I knew it was not my room that filled mum and dad with so much gloom. The little boy was tormented from then on he kept him room tidy hoping it would make his parents proud. ‘Hope he will come back soon and admire my very tidy room’.
I feel this poem works really well with what the poet Brian Patten is explaining. The way that he has put a bounce into the words in which he uses puts a smile on your face when you’ve finished reading the poem. The poem asks for your cry of sympathy but towards the end you realize that its not. The way in which he kept repeating them few lines. ‘Mum and dad’, full of gloom’, ‘very tidy room’, worked really well in helping the poem have that extra bit of beat to it.
Another poem in which I choose to study is called ‘long distance’ by Harrison. This poem describes the effects someone you love has on you and other people in other ways. It may seem that many people act mental when someone very close to them as died as the poet Harrison is describing in this poem. ‘Though my mother was already two years dead, dad kept her slippers warming by the gas, put a hot water bottle at the side of her bed and still went to renew her transport pass’. The son is explaining, how distraught his father is after his mother died two years ago. His dad continued life as if his mum was still there. ‘He warmed her slippers’. Doing this for a woman that’s dead shows a lot of uncomfort and unhappiness towards the rest of the family. The husband knows the wife has gone yet he doesn’t want to show that she gone and never coming back. Continuing to do these things for her must show a lot of love and compassion towards her. He ants her alive and by her side, he’s afraid to let go.
In the second verse Harrison describes the dysfunctional ways in which he doesn’t let go. ‘You couldn’t just drop in. you had to phone he’d put you off an hour to clear away her things and look alone.’ People would think wrong of him if they saw her ‘slippers warming by the fire’. He did this because he thought by not letting go of his wife was wrong and is something to be shamed off. The language and the tone in which the verse uses ‘as though his still raw love was such a crime’, tells you that his dad knew that pretending to believe his wife was still there, was wrong. It tells you he tries to cover up.
‘He couldn’t risk my blight of disbelief’ this is quoted in the third verse. He clearly says he couldn’t risk his son seeing the way in which he was reacting towards the death of his mother. He couldn’t endanger seeing the look on his sons face of the though that he was going mad. You get the Impression that the father couldn’t bare the thought of his son or anyone else being realistic and telling him that she is dead. Destroying his beliefs that she was still there. Him then realising people are noticing his madness and he wouldn’t have to let go.
The final verse Harrison says ‘I believe life ends with death and that is all’. When you read this line the poet, Harrison gets the point across clearly about his beliefs. To help achieve his he uses short and sharp words. Harrison mum and dad are both dead now, by the quotes. ‘You haven’t both gone shopping; just the same in my new leather phone book there’s your name and the disconnected number I still call.’ Harrison knows that they haven’t both gone out shopping. He remains in his father’s footsteps. He’s in denial yet deep down he knows that they are both dead. Harrison realises that getting over a loved one who has just passed away is not as easy as he thought. He watched his father in the past grieve over his mother in what he thought was a weird and mad way. Now he has realised it wasn’t weird and mad at all, but the only way in which his father could cope with the death.
Harrison is being very serious when writing this poem. It makes you give out a cry of sympathy. Harrison explains how him himself and other pole may react to the death of a close one. The tone of the poem makes you feel upset for Harrison. Its almost like you can feel his pain and the disturbing memories in which he will always carry with him.
The last poem I choose to look at is ‘mum and dad are mum and dad’. This last poem is slightly different from the others I have looked at, shown above. The poet, Paul Cookson chooses only to concentrate on the love between the parents and child rather than the pain and grief between the parents and the child.
‘Although they didn’t bring me into this world they did bring me up in this world’. Cookson explains to the reader that that his mum and dad are his mum and dad, they are and there not, his mum he is talking about didn’t actually give birth to his but has however brought him up, taught him everything in which he knows. Cookson really says in many words that he was adopted at birth. ‘Adopted at birth mum and dad are mum and dad have always have been. As the cause of never knowing who is birth parents are he has therefore never known any different and his adopted parents are his mum and dad.
The next verse states ‘never once have I wanted to go back, trace the roots and dig up the past’. He clearly says that he has never wanted to go back dig up who his birth parents are. ‘Who brought me into this world and then let me go’ this gives out the impression that Cookson holds a grudge against his birth parents for giving him up for adoption. ‘They choose me and if I had a choice I know in all my heart that I could not have chosen better’. To me Cookson is saying it doesn’t matter that these people are not my birth parents for they choose me and I couldn’t have been happier that they did.
Overall this is a relationship showing the good side of love and no pain. Cookson is a child that has had the unfortunate experience of not being wanted by his birth parents. However this may have come out for the better that this has happened. His foster parents couldn’t be any better parents towards Paul Cookson as he has come to realise that it doesn’t matter weather the people that bring you are made by blood as long as they are good people and lovely towards you, then they are your real parents weather chosen or not. By reading this poem I think the poet tries to come across serious yet the poem has a certain bounce towards it. It makes you actually think for a moment about your parents. It brings a smile to your face thinking about how happy Cookson is with his parents.
From looking at the poems I have chosen to study about the theme, in which is relationship, I have come to the conclusion that most relationships with parents turn out for the worst. Each poet weather Patten or Larkin they still express their hatred towards their parents using abusive language and tone. However Cookson uses the bounciness and fun language in his poem to express his kind feelings. Each peat has their own individual way in which they express their feelings, most with anger whilst the other few with softness.
