In line two the reference to guns is changed from ‘our’ to ‘the’ this creates a sense of opposition within the poem again linking in with what the nature of war and creating a sense of ‘them’ and ‘us’ this is a very small change but it suggests to the reader that there is no end due to the fact that if the enemy does not stop their fighting then they cannot either. The overall impact of the line of ‘the guns’ makes the whole connotation seem much more sinister and threatening.
In the third line there is a significant change of the phrases Owen uses. It is clear that in the first draft Owen uses personification to an extent that the reader could say he is trying to hard. He then changes technique to one of alliteration and creates a line of ‘riffles rapid fire’ which is much harder hitting again keeping in the line with the way that Owen is conveying the ‘Pity of War’ but he also keeps in trend with the two structures of the poem. The line ‘riffles rapid fire’ has a sense of speed to it, which is what the first stanza is all about. ‘Stuttering’ is also a significant word, as the action to stutter is to do something again and again just like the gunfire that the soldiers would be subject to.
In line four the main change is the usage of the word ‘patter’. This, to the reader, is a word, which is meaningless. This is exactly the effect that Owen wishes to create. A sense that the soldier’s loss of life is meaningless and it solves no real problems so their life and inevitably death is meaningless. This also reminds the reader that people at the time of war ‘back home’ viewed that war as a needless atrocity. This usage of imagery is completely different from the first draft, which includes references to a priest and his actions. I believe that the reason Owen makes these changes to keep inline with the way in which he has split the poem into two separate view points.
In line five there is the usage of the words ‘no mockery from prayers or bells’. The true meaning of this is that the troops see the praying of those is a mockery, as it seems to solve no problems or bring the war to an end. This may be because they are angry that they are the ones who have to be fighting and exposed to the horrific scenes of warfare and those who are out here fighting seem to be taking the easy way out. The original line takes the same idea of people praying but tells it to the reader that there it is not present to the soldiers. The redraft is much more useful within the poem as the original comments on a scenario but the redraft comments on what the soldiers are feeling and therefore highlights the ‘Pity of War’.
Lines six and seven are interlinked. Owen personifies the act of firing a missile. In the first Owen implies that praying and hymn singing helps no one in the trenches in the second he seems to merge the idea together; that the bullets can be compared to a choir as they are constant and can be heard a making a single verse and again they cannot be stopped by the act of singing. In these two lines Owen again hints that soldiers morale is falling and that they have no hope, especially in prayers, which shows the reader the characteristics of the ‘Pity of War’.
Owen modifies then goes on to talk about the remembrance of the acts of war. In the first draft the words of ‘candle’ and in the sense of remembrance which is a common act in the aftermath of war in the first he tells us what the usual way in which soldiers are remembered but in the second draft Owen is implying that the act is not deep enough and that it cannot bring back the dead or that it does not even begin to explain what fighting in the trenches is like. The second draft seems to be meant in a cynical way that people who remember the dead are simply big-its and only do not actually get involved directly on the ‘front line’.
In lines ten and eleven Owen talks about the beginning end of the war. The idea is kept the same Owen informs the reader that the soldiers are left with images of their goodbyes which must seem distant and what spurs them on is seeing there loved ones again. In the second draft Owen makes the act of saying goodbye seem even more important due to the way that they are referred to as ‘holy’ which emphasises the way that these people are so special, but it also can be foreseen as a metaphor that if the soldiers were with there loved ones then it also brings a sense of security and normality rather than the way of life they have become used to in the trenches which could end at any time and is prolonged by the suffering the observe everyday. These few lines hit home to the reader the way that soldiers throughout the war long to be home with loved ones and have their sense of security and peace of mind returned to them. But it also highlights a new definition of the ‘Pity of War’ that it can be emotional and mental and soldiers do not have to be directly affected by war they can simply experience the way of life in the trenches and immediately be changed forever by the horrific scenes, which is in itself a pity.
Line fourteen stay mainly unchanged. Owen makes a direct comparison that a flower represents the human mind. That the way in which the mind is gentle and can be broken or warped just as easily as a flower. This also shows that the war does this to some and is a reflection of the ‘Pity of War’ how innocent soldiers can be ruined as easily as a flower.
The last line put into context the way that the acts of fighting can be switched on and off as easily as opening and closing a blind. Owen speaks of how at night there is no fighting due to the absence of light. But it is also a metaphor in itself the fact that the blinds are pulled down because of darkness just in the same way the fighting is stopped because of the lack of light. Overall the last line shows how pitiful war is. The way that it seems to just be a way of life. If it actually was important then troops would make an effort but it seems to make war be a petty thing and as soon as darkness strikes everyone puts down guns and waits until morning.
Overall the majority of the changes are to make the lines have more impact but some are also to be in with the structure. The poem is in two stanzas, the first seems to create a picture of the entire events of a whole war. Due to the way it talks of battle and then mention remembrance at the end. Due to the language used and the usage of alliteration the stanza seems to have a sense of speed about it and overall creates a very compelling picture of war. The second stanza has a much more religious and emotional view about it. The pace is slowed down and there is much emphasis on the connotations and imagery, which the author crates. The poem is a very true reflection of the way in which life was wasted in World War One.
