How to be a Nerd Like Matthew Emmons

        Day to day people see me act and behave differently than other people. If you really want to be me, you will need to master a few key elements. First, you must carry a really big backpack, the larger the better. You want a bag that may weigh between ten and one hundred pounds, the weight is crucial. With such a large backpack, you are able to carry all your books, folders, and binders without every having to stop at your locker. Also, if you are in a hurry, you can turn sharp corners with your backpack and knock over those in your way that might be a little more height deficient then you like Audrey, Pauline, and Chelsea for example, no offense to any of them of course. Not only do you need the backpack, you will need to be able to talk like me and know what to say at different times. From talking out of turn and answering your own questions, to going on about some random topic just to prove your right to find out when you finish no one has listened to a single word I have said, not to name any teachers or people of course. Some people all ready have the speaking out of turn done, but I have yet to find anyone to perfect my voice and speak as I do (all though I must say Ken Minster, Sean Hopkins, Joseph Carlston, and Alan Fonseca have all gotten pretty close after trying to imitate it for the last month or two.) I seem to almost never go anywhere with this guys when all of a sudden I hear, “...well the square root of the hypotenuse is equal to the equilibrium expression shown above to be…” and many other comments like that. (Mrs. Cerrone you may need any of those people to demonstrate for you what I mean.) As for answering my own question, second period has already seen a great deal of what I can do. With the basics of speaking and the huge backpack, you are almost finished being the nerd deep inside us all.

        Not only must you walk the walk and talk the talk, you must show off and be the best possible person you can be to all those around you. No matter what I seem to do or how much I study, there is one person that I can never surpass, AUDREY FALCONI. In all my classes except US History AP, I am always behind her in grades even though she does just about as many after school activities and events as well as I do. It never seems to fail that I will accomplish all my homework and things to find out that Audrey has done all the same things as me and excelled at it. That is why to be a true nerd like me, you must study and work hard at all you do to be the best at all things possible. Me, and many other students that are in Chemistry II AP, are such nerds that we never get a chance to go to lunch since we are so dedicated to our studies that we eat, sleep, and almost live in the Chemistry II AP room taught by Mrs. Salb. Following all these steps and helpful hints on how to be the super nerd, Matthew Emmons, can now be a reachable dream.

        Now that this process is finished, you can all achieve your dreams in becoming the almighty and powerful super nerd. By doing these last simple summarized steps, you cannot fail in becoming me: carry a heavy backpack, obtain and use my voice in the correct manner, and lose all attachments to the outside world. These principles alone are the keys to success for all who seek it. (All those that read the following essay, there is no offense made to anyone so please enjoy and have fun being me.)