Pain. Her eyes became watery as she dragged the razor blade across her arm, the pain invaded her body.

her to clean up the mess, she felt humiliated and stupid. “Quiet everyone”, suddenly the director came into the cafeteria, everybody went back to there seats and continued with there meal. The director walked up to Layla, she could see his shinny black shoes. His laces were perfectly done and his trousers were perfectly ironed and tucked in at the end of his leg, the man reeked of perfection.“What’s going on here” he said, his voice sounded firm and scary. Layla continued picking up the food splattered on the floor while she mumbled “nothing sir, just an ….”. “Look at me when I’m speaking to you”, he shouted as he grabbed her arm and pulled her up. She looked up at his smooth shaved face, her eyes were full of tears. Her lips trembled “just an accident, sir” she said nervously. “I don’t want cry babies here, clean up your act girl”, he said still pinning on to her arm. She nodded her head and got back on her knees to finish cleaning up.“Nobody give this girl any food, I repeat, nobody or there will be detention”, the director looked around the cafeteria “And I mean nobody” and pointed at the kitchen staff. He then took a last look at Layla who was still on her knees and walked away with his hands on his back.Layla got on her feet, took hold of the mop and bucket and gave it to one of the kitchen staff. “You should take more care next time love”, the women said at Layla. Layla nodded and walked away. “Wait up love, got a little something for you” she said as she took a ham and cheese sandwich out of her apron pocket. “Hurry up and eat it before anyone sees you” she said petting Layla on the back and giving her a comfortable smile.Laylas parents had died when she was a baby, ever since she can remember she has been tumbling from home to home. Her latest family thought it would be better for her to be in a boarding school, somewhere she wouldn’t be much of a nuisance. Layla didn’t fit in at the boarding school, nobody spoke to her. The girls would always hide her books and make her get into trouble, but nobody would believe her.She never spoke, she would let the hours pass by while she sat there lesson after lesson staring at the walls. Every night she would go to the bathroom and relieve the pain, she hid a razor blade underneath a small box used to keep the hair pins and bands. She would take it out and sit on the floor, her head would fall back against the wall as she cut another bit of her pathetic life away. She felt pleasure and pain at the same time, all her thoughts would concentrate on the blood dripping from her arm. Suddenly nothing that had happened that day seemed important, she leaned back and took slow breaths. She would then cover up her arm and put the razor blade back under the box, strapped on so that it wouldn’t fall off. This was the only thing that kept her going, the only way of life she had ever known.