Save as Many as You Ruin. Water is a symbol which reappears over and over in this short story. It could seem like water is connected to memories or to the past. In the very end Gerard feels as if someone has poured cold water down his neck

Save as Many as You Ruin

Every once in a while, people make life-changing mistakes; mistakes that can seem irreversible and absolutely fatal to your life. But in some cases, fate might just reach out and bless them with another chance. These are the cases where the involved can live through a religious experience and have the opportunity to save what they’ve previously ruined.

Gerard is a handsome man from New York, who is approximately 40 years old. The turning point in the story is when Gerard meets Laurel coincidently after he sees her through a shop window. Gerard and Laurel are former partners, but the relationship ended when Gerard had to proclaim that he had made another woman pregnant while they were still dating. Gerard has Lucy with Issy, and after Issy moves to Los Angeles to fulfill her dreams about being a Hollywood actress, Gerard takes the responsibility of raising Lucy on his own. Four years after Issy went to Los Angeles she was found dead in a pool, possibly after a suicide as she had taken her time to write Gerard’s name as her next of kin.

Gerard lives what could be conceived as a boring and regrettable life, with the exception of his daughter; Lucy. Lucy is Gerard’s light of the day. “Gerard feels a stabbing love for his daughter” [l.18], “She’s wonderful, just wonderful” [l.78], “I love you” [l.165]; in this short story we’re constantly reminded of Gerard’s endless love for his daughter, and it is clear that she is the light of his seemingly else uninteresting life. We, as readers, are never told which profession Gerard is in, nothing about his parents or childhood so none of it must important or interesting. Another reason that one can conclude that Gerard finds his life unimportant is his perception of his footprints and breath. “Gerard thinks of his own footprints and how soon they will disappear. He exhales into the world and his breath disappears” [l.7]. The fact that he is noticing, and reflecting on his footsteps and breath disappearing, tells us something about how he perceives his own existence. He does not think of himself as anyone who is going to make an impression or leave a permanent change for anyone. Everything he does, and even the proof of his very existence (the breath and the footsteps), simply disappears behind him.

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The first part of the story, before he meets Laurel is filled with a depressing mood, as it is snowing and he is walking alone in the streets, pondering about his insignificant existence. (The only exception to this mood, being his daughter; Lucy.) This all works as quite a contrast to the love and positive feelings in the latter parts of the story after Gerard has met Laurel. There are actually quite a few contrasts in Save as Many as You Ruin. Lucy is quite a contrast to her mother, this is especially seen in the subject of lying; where Issy used to lie all the time, while Lucy easily recognizes when her father is lying and obviously doesn’t approve of it. [l.167]. Issy also works as a contrast to Laurel in the relation to Gerard. Issy is the sexy lover, while Laurel rather appeals to Gerard’s feelings. Etc.

At some point in Gerard’s life, he took the chance of having an affair with another woman while he was still with Laurel. “Gerard vaguely remembers the feeling of being in love with Laurel and the desire to have sex with Issy. He knew that other men enjoyed the occasional partner outside of long-term relationships, and he wanted to try it.”[l.123]. He excuses his affair, with other men having done the same. It is at this point he ruins his opportunity to live with Laurel, what he later seems to regret, but paradoxically it is also at this point he gets Lucy; his present greatest love. Later he even has the opportunity of having a classic affair (classic, as it has been seen repeatedly in literature, film etc.), with the babysitter. It is quite clear though, that he will not do that because of how he sees the babysitter as heavy-fitted, and he notices her hair smells like onions. [l.37][l.173].

However, whether by coincidence or fate, Gerard and Laurel get together again, and that is even without Gerard losing Lucy. It could seem like fate is a powerful theme in this short story, as Gerard has an epiphany in the end concerning what could very well be fate, perhaps without him even knowing himself: “Gerard feels as though he is being followed, that there are voices he can’t hear, that the footsteps of the snow on the window are just that, and like Lucy’s conception – life is a string of guided and subtle explosions” [l.203]. He finds that life is like a string of guided and subtle explosions, meaning that life is based on a purposeful chain of events. He uses the word “guided”, which makes the epiphany seem almost religious, as he realizes that everything that happens is not coincidental, but guided. You could say that he is telling himself that it was not coincidental that he met with Laurel, but rather was it a purposeful choice by someone, or by fate itself, to let Gerard and Laurel reunite.

Water is a symbol which reappears over and over in this short story. It could seem like water is connected to memories or to the past. In the very end Gerard feels as if someone has poured cold water down his neck [l.198], that is explained earlier in the short story: “Later at home in his study, he could re-create the moment he saw her in line at the shop and let the memory spill over like a faucet left running”[l.61]. This sentence works like a key, to decrypt to symbolism of water in the story, a symbol we see a lot in this work. When Gerard thinks back on Issy, it is, on several occasions, in the situation of her floating in the pool. And when he reunites with Laurel, he has a sudden flashback of him swimming in a pond in the summer. The moment Gerard feels the water being poured down his neck in the end is when he recreates the moment that he sees Laurel again, and it is there his epiphany about life and fate comes to him. One could also consider the water being poured down his neck as a kind of christening ceremony, as he is being poured over with water and this is when he appreciates and accepts the existence of a religious being; controlling the fate and lives of others.

It is clear, that Gerard is standing at a crossroad, and there is no doubt which path he is going to take. The situation Gerard is in is similar to the situation the author William, from the novel “Elephant” by Polly Clark, is in. They’re both standing in front of a bright future with an entirely new perspective on life. They’re both going to live a happy family life with their partners, and that is going to be the way out of their current seemingly miserable and unfulfilling lives.

Gerard has been blessed by fate to give the love affair with Laurel another chance. He might previously have ruined both Laurel’s and his own life, but now he has the opportunity to save them both again.

Number of words: 1094 (excl. quotations)