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The purpose of my transformation was to turn the Simon Armitage poem 'Untitled' into a diary leading up to the classroom event.

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Tom Dobson Commentary on Text Transformation The purpose of my transformation was to turn the Simon Armitage poem 'Untitled' into a diary leading up to the classroom event. The piece is for a reading audience for an ranged audience between the ages of 18 to 30. I used Simon Armitage as the main focus in the diary and it shows him going through his day giving his own response to people interacting with him. To give the text an extra dimension I have shown the grown up Simon Armitage looking back at that particular day and school in general showing the difference in attitudes and values as a result of age and maturity. To show the character changes I have used a different style of lexis for each this makes it more obvious and easier to read. It also gives the piece more structure as it keep it on line and flowing. The younger Simon Armitage uses a mass of slang language. 'Man she jus dunt kno wen to giv up and I kno how to look after my dinner money'. ...read more.


This is used to emphasise how cold it is, and gives the reader a more accurate picture of him standing at the bus stop shivering and trying to keep as warm as possible whilst waiting for the bus. This makes the piece more interesting and compelling to read as it builds up the character and makes the reader continue with the diary. Alliteration is also used to make the piece more interesting to read. 'flamin freezin' this makes the words come of the tongue far more easier and makes the piece read better as it is able to flow more and is less disjointed. The older Simon Armitage (in italics) uses a far more complex and polysyllabic lexis. 'I was crazy, I have no explanation for this, it was a ludicrous and mad idea that was very selfish and disrespectful of me.' He has a wider vocabulary, which makes his contribution more believable and tells us more about him as a younger person. Sections of the base text are added to the mature Simon. ...read more.


This is very stereotypical of what teachers do, as they seem to pick on individuals who attract attention, this is usually the people who are late. Earlier in the piece adjacency pairs are used to good effect with the teacher taking the morning registration. "Rodger Hilton?" "Yes Sir" "Jane Johnson" "Yes Sir" this is done in a very polite manner and follows Grices Maxims. The students are using upward convergence as they are speaking to a teacher and this shows that they do respect him. The diary uses a good combination of colloquial and formal language with the introduction of good linguistic features such as similes, adjacency pairs and rhetorical questions to make a very interesting and realistic transformation. To improve the piece would require expanding it and possibly taking it a couple of days later to get the reactions after the incident. This could involve Simon getting bullied and beaten up by Jessicas' friends. Simons' reactions to this would then no doubt change and his thoughts about burning her fingers may have changed due to the bullying that he is now getting. (1149 Words) ...read more.

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