A Modest Proposal - confronting obesety

Lauren Sprouse

Eng. IV – C Block

2/3/03

A Modest Proposal

In our society, there has become a rather large problem that plagues the bodies and minds of all who are victims and those who must watch it happen. Walking down the streets of our great nation, and the streets from all over the world, I can’t help but notice the multitude of people who are grossly overweight and obese. Instead of being able to lead normal, healthier lives, these poor people are forced to live in a world that ridicules and berates them instead of supporting them and encouraging change. Society as a whole has failed them in providing a safe environment to exist.

There can be no denying that overweight and obese people are ostracized by our idealistic conception of an attractive person. Most often, the beautiful souls contained inside the person are hidden beneath the fat that no one can help but see. Our media has done nothing to help this situation. It portrays attractiveness as a skin and bone thinness that can only make fat people self-conscious and ugly. This unhealthy thinking only perpetuates their unhealthy lifestyles, leading them into a vicious cycle from which they can never escape.

Not only is this condition sad and unsafe for the overweight and obese, it is also a strain on the general public. As a world that is obsessed with aesthetic pleasure, it hurts our eyes and depresses our minds to have to view this gross malady. The solution that I am proposing will not only solve the problems of the afflicted but will also improve the quality of life for everyone.

As a way to distinguish, humanely and fairly, what is overweight and obese, a universal formula will be derived to calculate whether or not a person is fat. ...

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As a way to distinguish, humanely and fairly, what is overweight and obese, a universal formula will be derived to calculate whether or not a person is fat. Depending on height, body weight, body fat and a number of other factors, a mathematical equation will be used to configure a fat index for every person on the planet. Once a year, persons over the age of 18 will be required to weigh-in at convenient locations. Those who are determined to be overweight by the formula will be sent to an “emptied out” Greenland (renamed Fatland) to live with other people of their kind.

After living in Fatland for the total of 365 days, each person will have the opportunity to be checked once again by the formula. If they are determined to be at a normal, healthy and attractive weight, they will be allowed to return to their homeland. If they are not, a chance will be offered to them after another 365 days.

Upon returning to their homeland, if they are to once again determined (at a yearly weigh-in or in random checks of those given a second chance) to be overweight, they will be sent to Fatland permanently, with no ability to return. As another condition of a second-sending, the person will also be sterilized so they cannot reproduce and pass along an obesity gene. By doing this, the obesity gene will be eliminated thus eliminating genetic obesity over time.

To address the query of those who are conceived and born while their parents are on Fatland. Once the child is of 18 years, they must go to a weigh-in and be subjected to the same judgement and fairness dealt to all humankind.

On Fatland, people who are overweight will have a safe place to live because everyone inhabiting the community is equal. Real attractiveness can then be achieved due to the uniformly heinous outward appearances.

Society will be safe once again for all involved. Those on Fatland can finally learn to live where there is no discrimination towards them because of their weight. Instead of Julia Roberts’ and Calista Flockharts to be compared to, role models will have a dress sizes closer to their age. Clothing shops, restaurants, houses – every aspect of society will be recreated just as pleasently on Fatland to cater to the more dense needs of its inhabitants. As society in the world will go, citizens will be much happier having only beauty to look upon. They will have more space to move about it, and more resources to consume.

Please do not assume that I am proposing this for my personal gain. I am not fat, so I will not benefit from the burden of ostracism that will be lifted from the victims. I also have no fat friends or family, so everyone I look upon is greatly beautiful. This is not a selfish proposal. It is one that will benefit all for the rest of eternity.