Every teenager confronts the awkward, frightening, and embarrassing moments that involve sexuality and sexual health. Ideally, each teen should feel welcome to have a serious and respectful dialogue with a supportive parental figure about sexual health matters. The fact is that most teenagers will not or feel that they cannot talk to their parents because of several compelling reasons. The most common reason is the worry over how their parents will react. Many teens over-estimate the reaction of their parents, but teenagers express a genuine apprehension to involving parents on matters of sexual health. In a comprehensive report on parental involvement laws, a proclamation by a teenage girl expresses a common line, “My parents never would have consented [to an abortion]…they would have thrown me out on the street and completely disowned me” (“Parental Consent/Notification for Teens Pro and Con”).
Can the disowning occur in the opposite direction? However good and responsible might be a parent’s intentions, negative and controlling behavior by a parent usually is destructive and has an everlasting effect. This is strikingly evident in the following story a teenage young woman submitted to the creative writing forum of the Youth Expressions internet website:
I remember the day I left my house to live with my boyfriend. I was only fourteen years old. It was a cold night. I remember being so sad for leaving my family. I felt lonely in my new apartment. I was sad and happy – sad, because something inside me didn’t want to leave my parent’s house. Everything had happened so fast, it was so hard leaving. I remember the new apartment as being so cold and lonely. I was happy being with my boyfriend, but it was just as if I wanted both things – to stay with my family and have my boyfriend. I felt really sad also because I will always remember the things my dad told me when I left my house. He said that if I left with my boyfriend to never come back. He said if I preferred him over them to never go back into their house again. Those are really sad memories I’ll always remember. Even though my father thinks differently now, I will never forget what he told me and how he made me feel. I will always remember (“Leaving Home”).
To a greater degree, a typical teenager required by law to obtain parental permission to receive birth control information and contraceptives could very reasonably feel trapped in the proverbial corner where one is inclined toward a desperate state of mind that could result in a very tragic end, and not just for the despairing teenager. How many times have we read or heard about a tragic incident that relates to our topic? In an article asserting the argument about the dangers of parental consent laws, is a story that addresses parental consent as it relates to abortion, the behemoth sexual health issue. The following illustrates a teen’s privacy priority and well represents an avoidable common tragedy:
In 1988, an Indiana high school senior died from a botched illegal abortion in an attempt to circumvent the state’s parental-consent law. Although the state had judicial bypass—which would allow her to beg the court’s permission in lieu of her parents’-the girl knew the judge who would hear her case was notorious for denying abortion rights to minors. Not wanting to disappoint her parents, she did not tell them and sought an illegal abortion. She sacrificed safety for privacy and paid the ultimate price (“Parental Consent Laws Are Harmful For Teens”).
As a former teenager, as well as a current father parenting a past teen and a present twilight teenager, I certainly have had to come to terms with forming a conviction regarding the matter of teenage sexual health and parental involvement that would be in line with my overall parenting philosophy. As a father inevitably confronting this issue at home, I studied the available facts and considered the volume of acrimonious opinion of right verses right (as opposed to right verses wrong). All evidence seemed to support my innate understanding of my responsibility. I will support teens in actively opposing parental-consent legislation and be a supportive parent who is there primarily to listen to my adolescent; that children, in their crux of childhood entering adulthood, need parents to provide for welcome open discussion as well as help and advice without judgment. This is parenting to its fullest that would surely allow for a healthy dialogue regarding sexual health issues between a teenager and parent without destructive barriers and possible tragedy.
Works Cited
Andrea Hulser’s Web site. Hulser, Andrea. “Advise and consent”, 2002.
1 Oct.2003 <>
Coburn, Jennifer. “Parental Consent Laws Are Harmful to Teens” (1997). Opposing
Viewpoints Resource Center Online. RCC Library Gateway. 1 Oct 2003
<>
Planned Parenthood of America (PPFA). “Policy Statement-Adolescent Services” Mar
1998. 1 Oct 2003
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Robinson, Bruce. “Parental Consent/Notification for Teens Pro and Con” (2003).
About.com Web site. 1 Oct 2003 <>
YouthExpressions.org Web site. “Leaving Home” 30 Sep 2003. 1 Oct 2003
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