Britney Spears or Spear Britney.

Authors Avatar

 English Rant about Manufactured Bands. <Informal Text>

Britney Spears or Spear Britney.

  “Manufactured bands have brought us some fab solo acts in the way of Mr Keating,

and Robbie. Where would the screaming girlies be with out them?’’ J17 magazine.  

     The truth is as long as they aren’t screaming and waving their underwear anywhere near me I don’t honestly have a problem with teeny–boppers. Of course I enjoy the occasional joke about some larger than life band with a talent count of minus 50 but they don’t aggravate me as much you might think. Ignorance is bliss! But if I HAD to rant about anything it would be about manufactured and their music. And so to make the rant really good I might as well exaggerate some of my views and thoughts to make me appear like a true cynic and hater of all that is pop.

So I sat in my room staring at my CD collection, tossing away the couple that don’t do me proud. So with my ‘Ricky Martin’ and ‘Spice Girls’ album on one side (carefully poised on the desk, teetering dangerously over the bin) and my ‘System Of A Down’ and ‘Blink 182’ on the other I sat down to write this article. 

OK. Ever stop to think about how much hormonally-charged energy you put into the quick quips and biting banter? Your life would be considerably more productive if you took some, what's that word again, oh that's it -- action. I’m not suggesting that you incinerate some fresh teeny-boppers. There are laws against it. Yep even in that state of the US. But if you’re so fed up of manufactured bands and this article awakes the rebel in you, then I say ‘Go Forth, join a band and top the charts!’ OK fine maybe its not that easy but its more productive than bitchin about the manufactured lot with your mates.

     In this world of MTV soundbites (we are not worthy)  and insanely uncreative lyrics, the manufactured band and the manufactured singer run rampant <watch out Manufactured artists are about!> They are people who are pooled together, not because they excel musically, but because their looks and personality can be pigeon-holed to fit a "type" : cute, funny, naughty, or sexy. It's just that simple. Musical passion is generally becoming a fading art, with most people in it for nothing more than the money and the quick-fix of fame. Fame, you see, very rarely comes from the strength of the music.

Join now!

  A few years ago, Britney Spears exploded onto the scene. Her virginal yet strangely flirty lyrics had paedophiles across the world intrigued. Here was a 16 year old girl who loved Jesus Christ, sung about ‘being hit’ and claimed to be a virgin. It was all so…fan-bl**dy-tastic.

Britney went on to sell lots of records, preach Satan's teachings and get to wear increasingly skimpy outfits in her music videos. With this much success, the clones were bound to follow. And, lo and behold, they did. Christina Aguilera was the first to jump on the pink-coated bandwagon, and one ...

This is a preview of the whole essay