Explain the factors which affect children's behaviour. Include information about self-esteem, self reliance, variations in family practice, children's needs and individual differences.

Childcare Practice Learning Outcome 3 Claire Wright

Explain the factors which affect children’s behaviour. Include information about self-esteem, self reliance, variations in family practice, children’s needs and individual differences.

Promoting self-esteem is an important element of a child feeling valued. If they are secure and feel confident, they are less likely to display unwanted behaviour. There are many ways of encouraging good behaviour and using reward stickers and star charts has become a popular approach. Some of these are aimed at building self esteem, for example:

‘I have good thinking skills’
‘I am a kind person’
‘I have done really well today’.

Others will be direct rewards, such as:

‘Good work’
‘Well done’
‘A kind act’

Whole-class rewards are given in some schools by using Golden Time or something similar. Golden Time is often on a Friday afternoon and children are given a greater independence regarding what they do. In some schools, children can even change to another class for the Golden Time session.

Setting targets for children can be successful, particularly if the children can see an actual reward outcome. Many primary school classes use charts to indicate which books have been read, or how often good behaviour has been noted, and so on. These give positive reinforcement to the children and encouragement to continue.

When managing children’s behaviour it is also useful to understand an effect known as the ‘self-fulfilling prophecy’. The idea is that children will mirror the behaviour that adults expect of them. Adults who believe that they are working with children who are difficult are more likely to see unwanted behaviour whereas adults who have positive expectations of children are likely to see more positive behaviour. All the parents from the ‘Peter’ video wanted to be appreciated which may derive from their own childhood. Memories from childhood affect how you act later in life. Bobby’s relationship with his father was described as fearing him and Bobby will copy this when dealing with Peter. Booby is also caught in the middle as Lynne can’t cope so turns to Bobby to sort Peter out.

One explanation for this is that children are building up a picture of themselves – their self concept. They look for reactions and messages from others around them to help them gain a vision of themselves. An adult who provides the child with a positive image of themselves will help the child feel good about themselves and thus allow the child to show ‘wanted’ behaviour. Children who are told that they are ‘naughty’ or hear people saying that they are ‘difficult’ are likely to decide that they are inherently so and therefore will behave accordingly. Lynne or Bobby doesn’t provide a positive image for Peter because when he does try to make amends, when he does do wrong, he is still shouted at. An example of this is when the food fell out by accident when Peter was trying to get something. Peter tried to tidy up, after Bobby let his anger erupt, and threw out food that wasn’t any use but still got shouted at by his Lynne when she got back. Bobby never uses violence but realises he overreacts but can’t help. Ordinary aggression can get out of hand as shown in the role-play acted out by peter. Sometimes, however, emotional anger is more damaging than physical anger as bruises disappear but words and memories will also stay there and will never go away. Peter feels unloved and this may also come from Lynne’s childhood when she never felt loveable by her mother. This put doubts in Lynne’s mind to whether Peter loves her. What many people have learnt is that what you give as a parent is drawn from experiences from their family life.

To help children gain a positive view of themselves, it is important that practitioners praise children and also encourage them to do things for themselves. Being independent gives children inner confidence and thus aids self-esteem. Persona dolls can be used to help to promote self-esteem. The dolls represent children from various cultures and with a range of disabilities. A persona doll can be provided for any individual need and can be an ideal way of encouraging children to accept differences and pave the way for a child to settle and integrate easily into the group or class.

When using a persona doll, the adult explains the doll’s background and tells a special story which can lead to a discussion with the children, exploring difficulties that can be faced by an individual, bias that can be experienced and the hurt that can be felt. Self-esteem can also be promoted during circle time, which gives each child an opportunity to speak and be listened to.

A good starting point is to be aware of the different family structures that exist in our society. They are many classical family structures in society such as:

Nuclear
Extended
Step families/reconstructed
Gay and lesbian parents
Lone parent
Foster
Nomadic

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A good starting point is to be aware of the different family structures that exist in our society. They are many classical family structures in society such as:

Nuclear
Extended
Step families/reconstructed
Gay and lesbian parents
Lone parent
Foster
Nomadic

The high divorce and separation rate means that many practitioners will be working with reconstructed families. A reconstructed family is where a child lives with one birth parent and a step parent. The step parent may have their own children and the couple might also have further children creating half siblings. Peter is part of one of these families as he lives with his birth mother, Lynne and his step-dad, Bobby. Bobby, however, did not have any previous children and has not yet created any with Lynne.

Relationships in reconstructed families can seem complicated as children have contact with step grandparents, step aunts and uncles as well as with their original family members. Although it is always important to understand any form of classification can lead to stereotyping, and the key to avoiding possible distortion in the communication cycle is to understand and find out about them.

Practitioners might also find themselves working with children from a wide range of backgrounds. Some families might be reliant on state benefits, whilst other families might be affluent. Being sensitive to the socio-economic background of families is important as some families might not be able to afford ‘extras’ such as school photographs and outings, and practitioners may need to consider this when planning extra activities and fund raising. It is also important to remember that in many households the main breadwinner may not be the man and that the majority of mothers are now engaged in some type of work. The wide variety of backgrounds and lifestyles of parents means that practitioners should be careful not to make assumptions if they are to establish effective relationships.

The UK is a multi-cultural society and although Christianity is the traditional religion and English is the predominant language, there are many children who are being brought up in other religions and speaking more than one language. This again means that practitioners should not make assumptions when working with children and their families. Some families do not celebrate birthdays, while many children do not celebrate Christmas and Easter. Practitioners need to be careful to find out about and respect the customs of other cultures and be aware that children will be gaining a variety of experiences outside of care and education settings.

Where families live can also make a difference to children’s experiences and so we need to be aware of them. A child living in a rural location will have different needs and experiences to a child who is living in temporary bed and breakfast accommodation or a three-bedroomed semi-detached house in the suburbs.

Once a child has been observed using your knowledge of child development the child’s individual needs can be assessed. Each child has their own needs and you can never respond to all children in the same way because every child’s needs are different. For example:

A child who has a hearing difficulty may not be able to sit on your knee and listen to a story told to them very quietly. This child may need to sit where he or she can see your face in a good light with you speaking clearly.
Joining in a noisy outdoor game may overwhelm a child who has never had the opportunity to mix with other children. A gentle introduction to a quiet game with one or two others may be a much better option.

In order to function as an effective professional you will need to learn the skills and techniques of identifying the individual needs of every child you look after. All children have a range of needs which have to be met that fall broadly into the following categories:

Physical needs: warmth, shelter, food, exercise, sleep and rest.

Emotional needs: Securities, unconditional love, affection, close relationships with others.

Social needs: contact with others, belonging to group, sharing, friendship.

Intellectual needs: intellectual stimulation, interest and challenge, opportunities to learn, access to new information, positive responses to new discoveries.

As part of your professional role, you will need to make sure that they take the whole range of a child’s needs into account and do not only concrete on one aspect.

How might change affect a child’s behaviour? Give three examples from your own practice which show strategies for dealing with children’s behaviour.

Changes in children’s lives can affect their behaviour. It is a myth to suggest that children are adaptable, because although children may not have the language or the power to protest, they often mirror their worries through their behaviour. It is also harder for younger children to adapt to changes in expectations of their behaviour as they tend to need consistency and routine. The way changes are handled by adults can affect the impact they have on children. Examples of changes that may affect children’s behaviour are:

Short-term –:

Moving home
Change in routine or carer
Moving setting
New baby in family

Long-term -:

Separation or divorce of parents
Introduction into family of new partner and/or step siblings
Bereavement of a close family member
Serious illness or disability

When someone in the family dies, everyone is affected – especially the children. We need to remember that children react very differently from adults. How they react depends on a number of factors such as how close the person was to the child and the family importantance. The death of a parent, brother or sister will be much more upsetting than the death of a more distant relative. A lot depends on how involved the dead person was in the daily life of the child and the family. The child’s age and level of understanding and how the death affects their life in practical terms are very important. Infants may feel the loss mainly because it affects the way in which they are handled and their daily routine. They are very sensitive to the unhappy feelings of those around them and may become anxious, difficult to settle and more needy of attention. Pre-school children usually see death as temporary and reversible – a belief reinforced by cartoon characters that ‘die’ and ‘come to life’ again.

Children between the ages of 5 and 9 are able to understand basic facts about death – that it happens to all living things, that it has a cause and that it involves permanent separation. They can also understand that dead people do not need to eat or drink and do not see, hear, speak or feel. Young children often do not appear sad. They may show their sadness briefly and at unexpected moments. This may mislead you into thinking that they have not been affected by the death. They tend to express their feelings with their behaviour rather than with words. Most children are angry and worried, as well as sad, about death. Anger is a natural reaction to the loss of someone who was essential to the child’s sense of stability and safety. A child may show this anger in energetic play, by being irritable or angry to surviving family members, or in nightmares. Anxiety is shown in ‘babyish’ talk and behaviour, and demanding food, comfort and cuddles. Younger children believe that they cause what happens around them.

The circumstances of the death also affect the impact on the child. Each family responds in its own way to death. Religion and culture will have an important influence on what happens. Other factors that can make a big difference from the child’s point of view are:

How traumatic the death was – a traumatic death is harder to cope with.
Whether the death was sudden or expected a relief from suffering or a crushing blow.
The effect of grief on other family members if they are not able to cope with giving the child the care they need.
How much practical support is available to help the family cope.

Adults sometimes try to protect children from pain by not telling them what has happened. However, experience shows that children benefit from knowing as soon as possible. They may even want to see the dead relative. The closer the relationship, the more important this is. Adults can also help children to cope by listening to the child’s experience of the death, answering their questions, and reassuring them. Children often worry that they will be abandoned by loved ones, or fear that they are to blame for the death. If they can talk about this, and express themselves through play, they can cope better and are less likely to have emotional disturbances later in life.

Once children accept the death, they are likely to display their feelings of sadness, anger and anxiety on and off over a long period of time, and often at unexpected moments. The surviving relatives should spend as much time as possible with the child, making it clear that they can show their feelings openly, without fear of upsetting others. Sometimes a child may ‘forget’ that the family member has died, or persist in the belief that they are still alive. This is normal in the first few weeks following a death, but may cause problems if it continues.

Many studies show that, to a child, divorce is equivalent to the pain of the death of the parent. There is a great loss, with grief and sadness, and confusion for the children. Children most always believe that they are the cause of the divorce. They think that the parent who left, actually left them or left because of them and that the parent doesn’t love them anymore. Often the parents are so consumed in their own grief or turmoil that they fail to see the devastating effects of the break-up on the children.

Divorce affects children negatively in many ways. Children of divorce have more difficulty in school, more behaviour problems; they often have low self esteem and think they are worthless and bad, more problems with peers and more trouble getting along with their parents. The family unit is a vital part of the stability of young children. Mothers and fathers are important resources for their children. They give love, provide emotional support and teach their children skills and knowledge about life, as well as serve as role models. The break up of the family unit through divorce can be a heart wrenching experience for children. Divorce can adversely affect a child, from their behaviour, school, employment, relationships, and future marriage.

Children react differently yet similarly in divorce. Some will be extremely sad and show signs of depression and even sleeplessness. Anxiety levels peak as they feel they are going to be abandoned. They experience feelings of loneliness due to the loss of the other parent. Different children go through it at different levels and different times. How bad or how well children go through the divorce depends on how the situation is handled. It can throw the child's entire life into a whirlwind. There will more than likely be financial instabilities due to loss in income of the absent parent. There may be a change in residence or schools. Also, for both parents and children, holidays and birthdays after a divorce can be some of the most difficult things to deal with, traumatic even. It is important that as many things as possible in the children’s lives, remain the same. Familiarity with as many things as possible, with the least amount of disruption, is crucial to minimizing the emotional damage divorce causes to the innocent victims, the children. Counselling may be necessary.

Starting school is something that happens in every child’s life and is usually a positive experience. An introductory visit is normal so the child is reassured and gets used to the settings. This gives the child a chance to see the classroom, other members of staff, to learn where the coats and lunch boxes are kept, where the toilets are and the general routine of the school. Role-plays and books are a great way for the child to feel more comfortable. Once the child is familiar with his or her surroundings, starting school should be a happy and exciting experience. Peter got expelled from the nursery because he couldn’t socialise with others at 2 and a half years. Peter saw the aggression of his parents and repeated it when in nursery which led to him been expelled. 5-10% of nursery children have behavioural problems which usually develop into a criminal.

Apply theories you have discussed in class or in placement to these strategies. Use others if they are relevant e.g. behaviour modification, social learning theory, concept of self image.

A family may get stuck in a cycle where the child’s inappropriate behaviour causes the parent to behave in an appropriate manner. To ensure change, both children and parents may need hep to modify their behaviour. There are many strategies for promoting positive behaviour. These can be reinforced through a variety of shared experiences as shown below:

Women’s group - the process is started by promoting the parents’ self esteem by providing the parents with some quality time where they can experience activities such as aromatherapy, make-up sessions, relaxation or stress management. An opportunity to have time for themselves and pamper themselves.
Family workshop – an opportunity for staff to work with the whole family, promoting positive behaviour such as encouraging parents to praise good behaviour, to give children lots of attention and encourage the child’s self-control. There are opportunities for one-to-one support to help parents reduce the need to smack.
Outings such as shopping – this is a situation where children and parents often behave inappropriately. Staff can demonstrate effective behaviour management such as giving the child responsibility, or using distraction techniques and reinforcing appropriate behaviour.
Residentials – an opportunity for children and parents to experience new and stimulating activities whilst staff introduces effective management techniques during normal family activities such as meal times and bed time routines. Staff reinforces the importance of a consistent approach, of not nagging the child and of firmly reinforcing appropriate behaviour.
Home visits – staff can visit at meal times to support what may be difficult situation encouraging the family to sit at the table and to participate in conversation. Parents will be encouraged to set a good example and reward desirable behaviour. They can then encourage play experiences with new and exciting resources from the toy library.

Lynne and Bobby try a family workshop but quits before the end as they think there ways are right. However it is unlikely, that long term, Peter will change through Lynne and Bobby’s ways. At first this workshop helps a great deal, but soon Bobby gets bored of playing with Peter so Peter regresses back to his bad behaviour to get attention.

The social learning theory (also known as observational learning) suggests that children learn ‘wanted’ and ‘unwanted’ behaviour by observing and imitating others. Research suggests that young children are heavily influenced by adults especially those who are important in their lives. They model their behaviour on them, hence the term ‘role models’. Children who therefore see and hear adults demonstrating ‘wanted’ behaviour are more likely to reproduce it. The converse is also true with children who witness parents being aggressive, equally demonstrating this behaviour as shown in the video ‘Peter’. Peter’s parents show aggression to Peter all the time and confrontations in front of his granddad happen regularly. The family atmosphere needs to be changed instead of trying to change Peter. If his parents are less aggressive then Peter will copy the behaviour and as a result will have a happy childhood which won’t lead him into a life of crime when he is older. As children become older, they also model behaviour of their peers or ‘heroes’ such as football players and film stars as the focus shifts away from their parents and immediate carers.

The social learning theory complements operant conditioning rather than competes with it. Children who copy an adult and then are praised for their actions will be more likely to repeat the unwanted behaviour.

At its simplest, the idea of operant conditioning is that children (and adults too) repeat actions that have been negative or unpleasant. According to this theory a child who has been praised for waiting for their turn is likely to repeat this behaviour again because it has been reinforced. B.F. Skinner, who led the research on operant conditioning, repeatedly found that positive reinforcing or rewarding people a more effective strategy than using punishers. As shown in the ‘Peter’ video, if we ignore child’s bad behaviour it takes the attention away. This leads to improvement in behaviour when the child gets praise and ignores bad behaviour.

To conclude, a child needs to be loved so they can get a good self image of themselves. Once they have a good self image of themselves it is unlikely that they will behave badly or get into a life of crime. If all parents and practitioners ignore bad behaviour and praise them for the good work the children are more likely to display good behaviour rather than bad. Also different family structures and the child’s needs also should be taken into account by everyone in the child’s life. Every child is different and the practitioner and family need to realise this so the child can develop in all aspects of its life. If all these are met by the family and practitioners the child will feel loved and develop a great personality whilst showing only good behaviour.

Bibliography

NOLAN Y, (2002) BTEC National Early Years, Oxford, Heinemann.