As Western society becomes more technologically advanced, social isolation is magnified proportionally. Increased reliance technology and the Internet has “negative effects on psychological well-being, such as depression and loneliness” (Junghyun, LaRose & Wei, 2009). High school students with “greater hours of engagement on the Internet have higher loneliness levels than the average users” (Deniz, 2010). Increased internet usage is both the cause and effect of loneliness; the lonely turn to the virtual world for a sense of connection they cannot achieve in the ‘real world’. However, electronic connections cannot take the place of real relationships — “increased Internet use can increase social isolation as well as depression when it replaces more tangible forms of human contact.” (Cacioppo & Patrick, 2008, p. 260). As well, North American culture promotes traits such as individualistic success and competitiveness — “every man for himself”. These values are the model for ‘success’ and are only more pronounced in the modern era; thus, relationships on the whole have become superficial and exist primarily by necessity. Loneliness is a defining factor in the technologically-advanced and selfish Western world.
Loneliness is a predominantly Western phenomenon — yet the very same society illogically emphasizes the necessity of social connection. Not only does the modern age provide an environment where loneliness and social isolation thrives, it also heightens awareness of such conditions. Social connection involves feeling part of society and not alienated. Society itself encourages connectedness and meaningful relationships — an ideal that the population shares. An “overwhelming majority [of people rated] love, intimacy, and social affiliation above wealth or fame, even above physical health” (Cacioppo & Patrick, p. 5) when asked what gave them most happiness. However, loneliness is so prevalent that it is very difficult to attain these goals. As such, when harsh expectations are not met, the feeling of isolation is intensified. Loneliness in itself already causes suffering, but not meeting social requirements unduly worsens the experience. “The individual greatly relies on the community for support, a sense of belonging, reciprocal sharing with others and one's sense of identity” (Seepersad, Mi-Kyung & Nana, 2008) — thus, the perceived failure to society greatly weakens self-worth.
The inherent need for closeness, amplified by “the social expectation of having a romantic partner” (Seepersad, Mi-Kyung & Nana), prompts people to enter relationships simply to eliminate feelings of social inadequacy and emptiness. In Western countries, “individuals view romantic relationships as possibly the most important and central source of love and intimacy (and thus as very needed and desired)” (Seepersad, Mi-Kyung & Nana). As a result, “it appears, for instance, that a good number of marriages start as a panacea to loneliness” (Rokach). However, expectations to have suffering eliminated by these artificial relationships are often not met — hence the high divorce rate. These unfulfilled expectations resulting in a lack of real, meaningful relationships constitutes an inability to connect with others. This notion in turn is “consistently associated with issues of self-esteem [and] perceptions of social competence.” (Hall-Lande, Eisenberg, Christenson & Neumark-Sztainer, 2007). Western culture’s paradoxical expectations of close relationships in a lonely world only causes more suffering and further loneliness.
Lack of social interaction has negative implications on health — both psychological and physiological — “when it settles in long enough to create a persistent, self-reinforcing loop of negative thoughts, sensations, and behaviors” (Cacioppo & Patrick, p. 7). In fact, the experience triggers the same emotion region of the brain that responds to physical pain. People suffering from loneliness were found to have increased levels of depression, suicidal ideation, anxiety, stress, and insomnia. Aside from poor health, the experience is also linked to poor lifestyle. The lonely “subscribe to negativistic, and pessimistic views” (Rokach & Neto), “feel unsafe, … are more likely to construe others as threatening, appraise stressors as threats rather than challenges, and cope with stressors in a passive, isolative fashion” (as cited in Cacioppo, Norris, Decety, Monteleone & Nusbaum, 2009). As well, they engage in ‘self-destructive’ behaviours such as drug/alcohol abuse, poor eating habits, and recklessness. Chronic feelings of isolation can even accelerate the aging process (Cacioppo & Patrick, p. 5) and the progression of Alzheimer’s disease (p. 12).
Social isolation also impacts development in children — as is the case with isolates. Isolates lack adequate socialization, and so — when compared to their more social peers — were found to be less well-adjusted. (Witvliet, van Lier, Cuijpers, & Koot, 2010). ‘Disconnectedness’ from peers results in “psychological problems from infancy to adolescence” (Hay, Payne, & Chadwick, 2004). As well, adolescents lacking close friendships “consistently have lower levels of self-esteem and more psychological symptoms of maladjustment” (Hall-Lande, Eisenberg, Christenson, & Neumark-Sztainer). Loneliness is viewed as a dysfunction, a weakness: "to be alone, is to be different, to be different is to be alone, and to be in the interior of this fatal circle is to be lonely. To be lonely is to have failed" (as cited in Rokach & Neto). The shame and lowered self-esteem experienced causes the lonely to distance themselves from others, often eliciting the very result dreaded most. “Feelings of depression and low self-esteem may contribute to additional peer relationship problems and increased feelings of social isolation” (Hall-Lande, Eisenberg, Christenson & Neumark-Sztainer). As such, loneliness both causes and results from poor psychological health. This inescapable cycle of feeling lonely, the negative effects as a result, and the further isolation that develops “fosters concurrent and continuing feelings of loneliness” (as cited in Stoeckli, 2009).
Loneliness is a certainty due to the construct of Western culture — which is progressively becoming more digital while close connection is growing ever more elusive. Though pressure is placed on individuals to develop close relationships, the very ideals in the modern world — ‘getting ahead’, independent success — seem to prevent such relationships from occurring. The high expectations placed on individuals to connect with others only causes more isolation. Loneliness causes a great deal of suffering when such a pressing need as human connection goes unfulfilled. Lack of close relationships cause the lonely to consider themselves a failure, as loneliness is considered a social stigma. This causes adverse health effects and results in a poor lifestyle, creating a negative feedback loop. Humans are inherently social beings that crave human contact just as much as basic physiological needs. However, in a culture built around disconnection, where loneliness and social isolation are a defining factors, close relationships are difficult to establish. The snare of loneliness is so common in the modern age that it has simply become an integral part of being human.
Reference List
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