I N. take thee N. to be my wedded wife/husband,
To have and to hold from this day forward,
For better, for worse,
For richer, for poorer,
In sickness and in health,
To love and to cherish,
Till death do us part, (Book of common prayer)
These vows state that the couple should love and support each other no matter what the condition of their health or financial status. These vows bind the couple together for the rest of their life. However many couples do not stick to these vows and many of these marriages that are not committed to the vows end in an unhappy divorce, which can be painful for both of the people involved. However if the couple is committed the vows they can form a solid base for a successful marriage.
Marriage can change people as well as their lifestyles. Marriage can influence responsibility within a person. It can erase all their habits of a single lifestyle such as going out drinking and acting irresponsibly. The churches teach that a marriage is a good foundation for a family to be started. The vocation of marriage that I mentioned earlier can include the bringing up and teaching of children about their religion.
Marriage can also change people in a religious sense. Marriage can be seen to deepen the faith of many that undertake it, for many that have not been confirmed within their church it can be their first religious experience since their christening. The service can help the couple to have a deeper understanding of their faith.
In the Bible the first instruction that Adam and Eve received from God was to have sex:
“God blessed them, saying “Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth and subdue it”” (Genesis 2: 28)
The Bible does not teach that sex should be performed outside of marriage, it teaches that sex before marriage is wrong. The words chastity and fidelity are used in the Bible. The word chastity literally means a form of purity, in this Christian context it means refraining from sex before marriage and thus keeping yourself pure. The word fidelity literally means faithfulness and can be seen in this context as not having sex with someone else while you are married.
All of the Christian churches believe in the statement below. The churches all agree that marriage should be monogamous, meaning that only one partner should be involved within the marriage. This can be seen in the New Testament of the Bible.
Let each man have his own wife and let each woman have her own husband
(1 Corinthians: 2-3)
This idea of monogamy is recognised by law as well as religion. Polygamy is banned in the United Kingdom and Europe. Polygamy is only accepted and recognised by law in certain parts of Asia and Africa and a very small part of the U.S.A. The Christian church views it as infidelity and it is totally forbidden by all the Christian organisations except the Morman denomination.
Also all the major Christian denominations recognise adultery as being wrong. This is specified in the Ten Commandments:
Thou shall not commit adultery
(Exodus 20: 14)
The act of casual sex is seen to de-humanise a person into an object for sex, the whole idea of sex within the Christian faith is to make a relationship develop by sharing the most intimate of things. Having sex with somebody casually defies the point of these Christian teachings, as it seems to devalue the relationship between two people. Christians hold this particular view on sex before marriage because they view marriage as something that can be used to strengthen a couple’s love once the initial relationship is there. However the idea of sex to broaden a relationship was not just to broaden it by having children, it was also to broaden it by sexual pleasure, this can be seen in the song of songs in the Bible. It is a collection of romantic poetry expressing the joys of love and sex. It is written in parts for the bride, the bridegroom and the chorus. It is very much like a love song duet. The Song of Songs reinforces the point that sex is not just for procreation but also for pleasure and expression of love between a married couple. This quote from the Song of Songs is said by the bride to the bridegroom. This shows that love was not something that should be kept to oneself but should be physically expressed to one another.
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth.
Your love is more delightful than wine;
Delicate is the fragrance of your perfume,
Your name is an oil poured out,
And that is why the maidens love you.
We shall praise your love above wine;
How right it is to love you.
(From the Song of Songs: 1-4)
Jesus first supported the idea of the marriage service and showed it’s importance when he performed his first miracle at the wedding at Cana. He was not ready to perform his first miracle because it would draw attention to him and start his journey to his own crucifixion. However he felt that a wedding was such an important event that he performed the miracle which started hastening his own death.
“When the ran out of wine, since the wine provided for the wedding was all finished, the mother of Jesus said to him, “they have no wine”. Jesus said to her, “why to you turn to me, my hour has not come yet”.”
(John: 3-5)
Jesus did not want the newly wedded couple to be embarrassed at their wedding party so he performed the miracle even though he was not ready to do so. This is a great sign of the significance of the wedding ceremony.
Although all the Christian denominations do not agree on specific points on this topic, they all share a common belief. This belief is that marriage is used to show a commitment to a partner and sex can be used to enforce the bond that marriage had created.