Astronomy
Astronomy has been a very interesting subject for every generation of mankind. From ancient Greeks to the modern astronomers, everyone has tried to explore the space probably due to the urge to discover space and find everything.
The urge to explore space did not start lately but this has been passed on from generations of human beings. Some civilisations expressed the deep beauty and the attraction of the shining stars and their constellations in the space above them by worshipping them; whilst others made buildings based upon constellations of stars. A few ancient buildings in the deep and dense tropical forests that have been observed by archaeologists recently caught an astronomer’s eye as something other than just an old building. He noticed that the way the building was designed exactly identical to a constellation present in the sky. When studied in detail, it was discovered that the building’s door and the main door were exactly the same distance as two stars of the constellation from each other when they were looked at from the naked eye. It was also found out that the building door and the main door were at an angle of 20°. Astonishingly, this is the exact angle that the same two stars of the constellation had on each other.
Until the 11th century the truth about the stars was unknown and there were just a few theories of Ancient Greeks. In the 11th century an Arab astronomer presented the hypothesis of the stars being a lot bigger mass than they appear to the naked eye. This theory was a great new discovery for the astronomers from all over the world and it opened a new era for the astronomers of the future.
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Peer Reviews
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Quality of writing
The candidate demonstrates a good understanding of the physics topics discussed and they have used appropriate scientific terms. However there are a few spelling errors which probably could have been avoided had the candidate taken the time to proof read their work. That said there are no real issues with grammar or punctuation.
Level of analysis
The candidate has taken the time to undergo independent research, this is apparent as they discuss several topics that you wouldn’t come across in A-level physics. There is a practically interesting paragraph about the mythology of astronomy and how the stars and constellations where worshipped. As well as being interesting to read this shows the candidates interest in their work and that they are capable of working independently. However the candidate has failed to write a conclusion. It is necessary to conclude your work as this allows you to summarise key points and ideas and gives a personal response to the topic, this is your chance to leave the reader with a good impression.
Response to question
The candidates introduction is reasonably good, they have tried to engage the reader by mentioning mankind's constant desire to explore space. However an introduction should also include a brief description to introduce your set topic and you need to clearly state exactly what you plan to discuss. Furthermore the candidates response seems jumbled, they have amalgamated several different facts but the essay itself doesn’t really flow and is hard to follow in places. This could have been avoided if the candidate had taken the time to set out a plan and think clearly about what they wanted to discuss.