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Peer Reviews
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Quality of writing
The quality of writing in this piece of work is low. There are several instances in which sentences do not seem to flow and in general the language used is poor, much lower than I would expect from a candidate at this level of qualification. There are several issues with spelling, mostly these are typos with the odd letter missing. In addition the use of vocabulary is poor and I would have liked to see the candidate use appropriate scientific terms. The combination of these errors results in this piece of writing being quite difficult to read.
Level of analysis
The candidate does give some suitable suggestions to the importance of water, however I feel they have missed some key ideas. Such as hydrolysis which is the splitting of a molecule with the addition of water, this is an important biological function. Also they have failed to mention the most essential point, that humans and many other animals rely on water to keep hydrated, we need it for survival. On a positive note the candidate goes into a suitable level of depth when discussing their points, this is clear in the second paragraph where they describe in detail the chemical make-up of a water molecule and how this is relevant to the way in which the human body transports nutrients. This shows a good understanding of biological and chemical principles. In addition the candidate seems to have undergone independent research, a good example of this is the additional information given about the surface tension of water and how this allows certain animals to walk across the surface of water. This shows an interest in the subject and makes the essay more enjoyable to read. Finally the candidates conclusion is weak, though they do attempt to bring the essay to a close. A conclusion should summarise your key points and ideas (in this case the main reasons why water is important to organisms). In addition this gives you a chance to leave the reader with a good impression.
Response to question
This essay has a reasonably good introduction, I like the addition of the quote, it makes the essay enjoyable to read. However you should use your introduction to outline the topics that you plan to discuss and the candidate fails to do this. The candidate attempts to give a fairly explicit response, though they never seem to fully answer the set question. You should make sure that you always answer the initial question, in this case why is water important to organisms?