Townie tramps
This race of townie prefers to wear old out of date clothes, colours faded away or aluminous. The most well known clothing of a townie tramp consists of; a pair of Addidas joggers, faded aluminous green which they see as the best colour, a faded grey Nike t-shirt with a large Nike tick which fills most of the front of the t-shirt. A matching tracksuit jacket would do nicely, again faded aluminous green. The footwear is usually some old football boots Astroturf soles of course. That is your average clothing of a townie tramp. These people don’t usually hang around in large gangs, although they do hang around in gangs but most often in their own street. Playing football in the middle of the road is their favourite pass time. These people usually are aggressive obnoxious and tough. They do not fear when an opposing gang outnumbers them since they don’t usually lose. This type of townie is not a fight starter although if in a big enough gang would most likely attempt a riot. My advice would be to not be afraid but perhaps cross the street if on your own, not taking any chances.
Designer townies
The most well known and most well hated townie is by far the designer townies. The reason for this is because they believe that they are better than anybody else, and start fights for no reason other than making themselves look ‘hard’. Their everyday ensemble is a dark blue pair of Addidas joggers with white stripes leading down them. The latest Nike t-shirt is usually worn underneath a humungous thickly padded Nike coat (with hood). With this coat on they believe to themselves that they are as big as the coat, but when removed are as skinny as the average string bean. Like the dying-out tigers, they ‘hunt’ in packs, looking for a defenceless victim is the highlight of their day, and beating them to the floor is a bonus. This race of townies is extremely cocky, the cockier they are the less tough they are (all talk, no action). If you are ever on your own when facing a gang of these hooligans be sure not to get stopped, run if you can. If you do get stopped you will most probably get a beating.
Rockport Rangers
Rockport rangers aren’t people that just wear Rockports, you are given the true Rockport ranger rank when tucking your football socks into a pair of joggers while wearing these expensive shoes. Not only do these people look stupid, but also by wearing clothing in this way they are only showing the world how little dress sense they actually have. Most of the time Rockport Rangers will be wearing a cap made from a material which can get dirty very easily, one drop of dirty water will ruin it, meaning a new purchase will be required of the exact same style hat with a slight colour difference. These type of townies are just jokers, they make me laugh, dressing like clowns.
Football Townies
Football townies are the worst for having a conversation with. For example if you were to ask a simple question such as: “Do you know where the toilets are?” they would reply: “Nah, sos mate… do you fancy a kick about?” or “Nah, but did ya watch tha footy on the box last night…” just by making eye contact could cause a chain reaction of football trivia. So if you’re a fat batch don’t even go near these football freaks. There shouldn’t be any worries of running into these people in the street, unless you don’t really like football all that much.