A Foreboding Night. Ian sat on the curb, his hands buried deep inside the pocket of his jeans.

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A Foreboding Night

Ian sat on the curb, his hands buried deep inside the pocket of his jeans. Puddles of rain filled the gaps between the uneven concrete, reflecting the eerie glow of the streetlamps. The oppressive night air never failed to release its grasp on him. The hairs on his arm tingled as the chilling wind breathed into his face, whispering unnerving secrets into his ear. He glanced at his wristwatch. At last, with its headlights flashing, a taxi broke through the end of the street. Ian sprang up and waved frantically at the car. The tires screeched as it skidded to a halt.

Ian opened the door and felt a rush of relief as he plopped himself onto the worn-out leather seat. A faint yellow glow emanated from the lights on the peeling ceiling. The taxi driver peered at him through the rearview mirror. His eyes were bloodshot, devoid of all emotions. “Where to?” he rasped. Ian glanced around uneasily. “Where do you want to go?” the driver repeated. The harshness of his tone struck Ian into silence. His throat felt tight as he struggled to think of a place. Sweat began to trickle down his neck. Something wasn’t right.

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Trees, bushes, and streetlamps whirred by as the car sped along the streets, its headlights piercing through the wilderness of night like the eyes of a wolf. Spilling out its light onto the ribbon of slick concrete, the crescent moon followed the car and never left it out of its gaze, despite the car trying to outrun it. Streetlamps stood tall and wary along the street, some barely able to keep hold of their flickering lights. Far behind the car a stray cat stepped onto the pavement, as if it could smell the loneliness emitted by the gloomy roads.


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***** This is a very good piece of descriptive writing which is well controlled throughout. There is some excellent imagery particularly personification, syntax is varied for dramatic effect and the writer displays a wide vocabulary. There is an interesting 'twist' at the end of the story and the writer has obviously put a lot of thought and planning into this piece of writing.