“…the very Jane he had fixed on.”
Mrs Bennet makes it quite clear she thinks Jane will:
“…likely to be very soon engaged.”
Austen uses humour and irony to engage the reader in how we should view Mr Collins:
“Mr Collins had only to change from Jane to Elizabeth⎯and it was soon done⎯done while Mrs. Bennet was stirring the fire.”
After Elizabeth rejects his proposal he does not set out to marry any other of the Bennet sisters. Charlotte recognises his desperation to get married and when they are at a lunch together so she:
“…set out to meet him accidentally in the lane.”
Austen uses irony in the word ‘accidentally’ to show that Charlotte hopes for him to fall in ‘love’ with her and he does. The narrative explains:
“But little had she dared to hope so much love and eloquence awaited her there.”
Austen is sarcastic in this comment, how could Mr Collins want to marry and let alone be in love with Charlotte after he has only just asked Elizabeth to marry him? The couple certainly have none of the four things Austen considers in an ideal marriage. The reader feels sorry for Charlotte that she has ended up with Mr Collins but also relieved and happy for Elizabeth that she did not except his proposal. Charlotte feels a marriage should be about having a good status in life and money; she does not wish to find love but to find a man who can financially support her. She is getting older, not very pretty and will accept any proposal from a man as long as he can give her a good life and has money. Prior to accepting Mr Collins proposal; she makes her feelings clear with a conversation about Jane and Mr Bingley to Elizabeth. Charlotte’s views on marriage are summed up very well in one sentence:
“ Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance.”
Elizabeth’s immediate reaction to this shows:
“…you would never act this way yourself.”
Austen uses irony, Elizabeth’s judgement will prove wrong when Charlotte accepts Mr Collins’ proposal. When Charlotte accepts Mr Collins’ proposal in the narrative she even admits to herself that she doesn’t like him:
“Mr Collins to be sure was neither sensible nor agreeable; his society was irksome and his attachment to her must be imaginary.”
She also knows he cannot love her but it doesn’t matter, marriage:
“…was the only honourable provision for well-educated women of a small fortune…”
Two incidents where we see Mr Collins and Charlotte as a married couple are when Elizabeth goes to visit them and when they meet with Lady Catherine. On both occasions it is made clear that no close physical or emotional relationship exists between Charlotte and Mr Collins. Charlotte admits to having as little contact as possible with Mr Collins and encourages him to go on walks:
“…owned she encouraged it as much as possible.”
The marriage of Charlotte Lucas and Mr Collins is not an ideal marriage Jane Austen talks about; it does not contain affection, respect, esteem or confidence. It is a marriage of convenience for both parties. The marriage will last but it is doubtful they will have children; they will not be divorced because divorce was seen as disgraceful. Both Charlotte and Mr Collins will be happy with the arrangement however, she has got he financial security she wanted and he has pleased his patroness by marrying.
Mr and Mrs Bennet’s relationship is not a close one. Their marriage was based on passion and over the years has begun to deteriorate. There is limited respect in the relationship:
“…insufficient to make his wife understand his character.”
Mr Bennet is also quietly ironic towards his wife; he doesn’t take her seriously and makes fun of her. When she accuses him of having no compassion for her nerves he replies:
“I have high respect for your nerves. They are my old friends.”
Austen uses this irony to show how Mr Bennet uses his wife to amuse himself and how he has little respect for her. Mrs Bennet is also satirised by the narrator in the novel. The narrative explains about Mr and Mrs Bennet’s marriage:
“Her father captivated by youth and beauty, and that appearance of good humour, which youth and beauty generally give, had married a woman of weak understanding and illiberal mind, had very early in their marriage put an end to all real affection for her. Respect, esteem, and confidence, had vanished for ever; and all his views of domestic happiness were otherthrown.”
In this narrative account the four things Austen views as an ideal marriage are mentioned. Affection, which quickly evaporated after a short while of being married, respect, esteem and confidence had also gone. Before they married they did not have any of those things but because of their passion they thought they did.
The Bennet’s do not set their children a moral and social example of how to behave very well. As parents it is their duty to do this but they fail in some aspects. Their faults in attitude and behaviour are reflected through Kitty and Lydia. They have succeeded though in bringing up Elizabeth and Jane, they are intelligent, sensible and sensitive women. Jane and Elizabeth know how to behave and speak in society. One example of this is when Elizabeth turns Mr Collins proposal down. Her mother is outraged when she finds out and demands Mr Bennet to tell Elizabeth to change her mind. Mrs Bennet tells Elizabeth she will never speak to her again if she doesn’t marry him but Mr Bennet totally undermines his wife in front of Elizabeth:
“Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr Collins, and I will never see you again if you do.”
Mrs Bennet demands her husband disrespects her and it is not an example she should present to her children. Another example when they fault bringing up their children is when Lydia runs off with Wickham, this brings outrage on the family yet Mrs Bennet will accept no responsibility on her part and is more concerned with what Lydia will wear. This displays Mrs Bennet’s thoughts on marriage, she is not concerned with Lydia’s feelings for Wickham but what she will look like. Mr Bennet however starts to see he has failed his duty as a parent. He tells Elizabeth he should have listened to her and not let Lydia go to Brighton:
“Who ought to suffer but myself? It has been my own doing, and I ought to feel it.”
This is the only time in the novel Mr Bennet accepts responsibility and even after this he goes back to being withdrawn in his library and not doing his duty as a parent.
Other characters in the novel perceive the Bennets as not well brought up and their behaviour is not as society would have liked it to be this, in effect, has a bad effect on their children and some of their daughters behave in the same way. The elopement with Lydia and Wickham would have shocked society and shows how much the children have not been brought up well. Mr Collins makes his feelings quite clear in his letter to Mr Bennet. He advises him to disown Lydia:
“…throw off your unworthy child from your affection for ever…”
He also reflects on the fact that if he had married Elizabeth he would be involved in the disgrace of Lydia and Wickham:
“…for it had bee otherwise, I must have been involved all your sorrow and disgrace.”
As mentioned before the elopement of Lydia and Wickham would have caused uproar in the 18th Century and the comment Mr Collins makes in his letter shows how bad it was:
“The death of your daughter would have been a blessing in comparison of this.”
The lack of breeding the Bennets have causes a major impediment to Elizabeth and Darcy’s relationship and the progress of it. Miss Bingley also tries to highlight the Bennet’s lack of breeding when it becomes apparent that Darcy likes Elizabeth. She is horrid about Elizabeth when she is out of the room about her appearance and behaviour:
“…her petticoat; I hope you saw her petticoat, six inches deep in mud…”
On the occasion though Darcy only defends his feeling towards Elizabeth. Mr Bingley is the one who defends Elizabeth and Jane, he says:
“It shows an affection for her sister that is very pleasing.”
To defend Elizabeth. Miss Bennet also comments that Jane is:
“a very sweet girl…but with such a father and mother, and such low connections, I am afraid there is no chance of it.”
Mr and Mrs Bennet relationship is reflected in the book through Lydia and Wickham. The relationship between them was very sudden. The pair had not been seen as close and Wickham made no special attention to her. Their elopement is very sudden and they both seem to have a total disregard for what society finds acceptable. It also emerges that Wickham has done this before with Darcy’s sister who explains the dislike Darcy has for Wickham.
Elizabeth comments that Lydia makes very easy attachments. This is shown by how she quickly falls in ‘love’ with Wickham and her fondness for officers:
“At first there seemed danger of Lydia’s engrossing him entirely…”
Wickham is linked with lots of other women in the novel, Elizabeth, Miss Darcy, Miss Grey and Lydia. All the woman Wickham is linked to in the novel, except the Bennet sisters, seem to be wealthy. Wickham only had affections for Elizabeth to get her sympathy over Darcy. The other woman though are all wealthy and the only interest he has in them, is their money. When Wickham elopes with Lydia, Elizabeth, in a conversation with the Gardiners says;
“Wickham will never marry a woman without some money.”
Wickham had not planned to marry Lydia when they ran away and would not have married her if Darcy had not have paid him off. The relationship of Wickham and Lydia was not based on money. In the letter to Elizabeth, Jane comments on how Wickham cannot be after the Bennet’s money because they have none:
“His choice is disinterested at least, for he must know my father can give her nothing.”
But it was based on physical attraction:
“…one man in the world I love…”
They are not in love but it is the physical attraction that the relationship was based on. However Darcy offered money for Wickham to marry Lydia and he quickly accepted. Wickham is a gambler and he accepts the money to pay off his debt.
The elopement of Wickham and Lydia brought shame on the Bennet family. In the 18th century people would have had exactly the same reaction. People would not like to be associated with them and it would be an example of how the parents brought them up. Mary explained to Elizabeth how Lydia’s reputation was lost:
“… one false step involves her in endless ruin⎯that her reputation is no less brittle than it is beautiful.”
This shameful reputation also affected the family and diminished the chances that the other Bennet sisters would be able to attract respectable marriage partners. Even though this was one of the most important things to Mrs Bennet she does not blame Lydia:
“I am sure there was some great neglect or other on their side, for she is no the kind of girl to do such a thing…”
The marriage of Lydia and Wickham is very one sided:
“Wickham’s affection for Lydia, was just what Elizabeth had expected to find it; not equal to Lydia’s for him.”
Their marriage isn’t likely to be a success, the marriage is one sided with Lydia showing most of the affection and ‘love’. The only reason Wickham married Lydia was for the money although he did like her. For a marriage to be a success all four qualities Jane Austen sees in an ideal marriage must be included only one is seen and that is affection. The marriage of Lydia and Wickham was:
“… brought together because their passions were stronger than their virtue.”
A marriage like Lydia and Wickham that is based on passion and attraction can end up like Mr and Mrs Bennet. Mr Bennet spends his time amusing himself by making fun of her. Mrs Bennet is oblivious to her husband’s ironic comments and spends her time gossiping and trying to marry her daughters off. Their marriage started like Lydia and Wickham’s. Full of passion and based on attraction but there were none of the four things Austen describes as a good marriage. They did not understand each other’s characters and their marriage has faded with age. Austen has written about the marriage of Lydia and Wickham, which is destined to fail, to show her moral views of a marriage are correct. The four things she describes as an ideal marriage are not all in their marriage except affection and this will soon fade.
In the novel Jane Austen has included three marriages, which in her eyes are successful. They contain all four qualities she thinks are needed for a good marriage, she also thinks a marriage is based on “excellent understanding” and a “general similarity of feeling and taste.”
The Gardiners are an example of an ideal marriage that has lasted. They are included in the novel as a contrast to the Bennets. The Gardiners are still very much in love even after their many years of marriage, their children have been brought up well, and they respect one another and understand each other’s characters. They are sensible and communicate with each other, which is something the Bennets do not do well. Mrs Bennet is not sensible, she is dramatic and is superficial and Mr Bennet does nothing to try and communicate with his wife, he makes fun of her, makes sarcastic comments and shuts himself away in his library.
The Gardiners have gained the respect of both their children and their nieces. The evidence of this is how Elizabeth turns to her aunt and uncle for guidance and not her mother and father. Although she does talk to her father a lot, she talks to Mrs Gardiner instead of her mother. When the news comes that Lydia has eloped with Wickham she talks to the Gardiners and when she arrives home doesn’t talk to her parents like she did with the Gardiners at all. When Darcy marries Elizabeth he gets to know the Gardiners and likes them as much as Elizabeth does:
“Darcy, as well as Elizabeth, really loved them…”
The marriage and relationship of Jane and Bingley is the second ideal marriage Jane Austen shows us. It shows the strict views society then had of courtship and marriage. They have a very formal and reserved relationship and do not make their feelings clear which almost leads to the downfall of their affections, obvious not to each other but to other people:
“It was generally evident when ever they met, that he did admire her…”
When talking of and in the company of Bingley, Jane also maintains:
“…a composure of temper and a uniform cheerfulness…”
When Darcy hears Mrs Bennet discussing the possibility of Jane and Bingley marrying this alarms him and he encourages Bingley to go to London:
“I did everything to separate my friend from your sister…”
When Bingley goes, Jane acts as society would expect her to and doesn’t show her feelings. This is ironic as she is then judged by Darcy to not really love his friend. When Elizabeth and Jane discuss Bingley’s absence Jane doesn’t speak her true feelings and says she will forget him and he may only live on as an acquaintance:
“He will forget and we shall all be as we were before…he may live on as a memory as the most amiable man of my acquaintance…”
Although in some conversations with Elizabeth, Jane denies her feelings for Bingley she makes it quite clear she regards him as a good man and has feelings for him. As mentioned before Jane considers manners a very important factor, as she is well mannered herself. When talking to Elizabeth about Bingley, Jane says:
“He is just what a young man ought to be, sensible, good humoured, lively; and I never saw such happy manners!⎯so much ease, with such perfect good breeding!”
While Jane takes care not to let her real feelings be known Elizabeth’s friend Charlotte Lucas makes it clear she thinks Jane should:
“… a woman had better show more affection than she feels. Bingley likes your sister undoubtedly; but he may never do more than like her, if she does not help him on.”
Her views on marriage affect her judgement of Jane and Bingley. This also shows that people are taking interest in Jane and Bingley’s developing relationship and how they obviously are making judgements about them and how Jane is behaving. Charlotte thinks Jane must see as much of Bingley as possible:
“…if he sees enough of her. But though Bingley and Jane meet tolerably often, it is never for many hours together; and as they always see each other in large mixed parties, it is impossible that every moment should be employed in conversing together.”
When Jane receives news from Miss Bingley informing her Bingley has no plans to move back to Netherfield and he has met someone else Jane doesn’t react, as society would expect her to. She pretends she doesn’t care and she didn’t feel for him that much anyway. In conversations with Elizabeth she makes it clear she thinks Bingley was a good man but she says she doesn’t care for him. She reacts and behaves in the manner society then would have expected her to. Jane makes no attempt to hide that she thinks you should behave as society expects you to, you should follow all the ‘rules’ and socialise in a proper manner. It was not seen as behaving correctly if you showed your true feelings for a man or woman in the 18th century; you had to restrain your feelings for someone.
When Jane and Bingley eventually get engaged Elizabeth is genuinely happy for Jane:
“Elizabeth honestly and heartily expressed her delight in the prospect of their relationship.”
Elizabeth even makes light of her own single state:
“…if I have very good luck, I may meet with another Mr Collins in time.”
Mr Bennet is also happy for Jane and Bingley:
“I have not a doubt of your doing very well together.”
He even jokes about how their characters are so alike:
“Your tempers are by no means unlike. You are each of you so complying, that nothing will ever be resolved on; so easy, that every servant will cheat on you; and so generous, that you will always exceed your income.”
We as readers should also feel happy about the chance of a successful marriage. Jane and Bingley are so alike that they would understand each other’s characters completely. They both act the same way as society expects them to. They both also respect each other, the way they act, as society expects shows the respect they have. They have all four things Jane Austen describes in an ideal marriage. This is marriage, which will last and will be a loving and successful relationship.
The main romance of the Pride and Prejudice novel is the relationship and marriage of Elizabeth and Darcy. Jane Austen describes how Elizabeth has overcome her pride and Darcy’s prejudice to eventually fall in love. Jane Austen displays her own thoughts through Elizabeth, who also acts as a narrative. It is hard to see past Darcy when we see most of Elizabeth’s thoughts and not how he really feels.
The initial meeting of the characters was at a dance. Austen makes an ironic comment:
“To be fond of dancing was a certain step towards falling in love…”
But there is truth in this statement when a couple were dancing this was the only way then for a couple to have a private conversation. At the function public opinion is quickly formed against Darcy, although he has money and has:
“…handsome features…”
This unsociable behaviour, in contrast to Bingley’s amiable behaviour, highlights how the people at the function have already made their minds up about him:
“His character was decided.”
This was also the same for Elizabeth, when Bingley suggests Darcy dances with Elizabeth he makes comments:
“…she is tolerable; but not handsome enough to tempt me…”
Elizabeth makes a joke of it with her friends but his character to her has already been decided:
“Elizabeth remained with no very cordial feelings towards him.”
The love between the characters was not instant, they have none of the four qualities Austen sees in an ideal marriage yet.
The first meeting of Darcy and Elizabeth initiates the prejudice Elizabeth has against Darcy but there are other factors that continue that prejudice she has against him. When Elizabeth firsts hears about the incident between Wickham and Darcy she believes Wickham straight away. This is not like Elizabeth usually she is a good judge of character but her prejudice against Darcy prevents her from seeing through Wickham:
“…but did not suspect him of descending to such malicious revenge, such injustice, such inhumanity as this!”
Elizabeth also thinks her and Darcy have nothing in common when she is dancing with him and talking she tells him:
“We have tried two or three subjects already without success, and what we are to think of next I cannot imagine.”
Elizabeth also is prejudice against Darcy for his interference in the relationship of Jane and Bingley, when her mother is talking about the possible marriage Elizabeth can tell Darcy is worried about Bingley and this marriage is being rushed:
“…though every glance convinced her of what she dreaded.”
Darcy’s own thoughts about Elizabeth prevent them from being together. Her family and their lack of breeding plays a big part in this. He makes it clear that:
“..her manners were not those of the fashionable world…”
He does not like the fact Elizabeth cannot keep her opinions to herself, she is outspoken and is not afraid to give her own opinion. She challenges him as he is used to taming women. When talking to Darcy about Wickham she tells Darcy her own opinion and refuses to take on anything he says. He tells her:
“Mr Wickham is blessed with such happy manners as my ensure his making friends⎯whether he may be equally capable of retaining them, is less certain.”
Elizabeth just replies:
“He has been so unlucky as to lose
Elizabeth just replies:
“He has been so unlucky as to lose your friendship…”
The first proposal Darcy makes to Elizabeth is one of reluctance; he has put his pride aside and is prepared to overlook Elizabeth’s connection. In his proposal however he includes the fact that:
“In vain have I struggled.”
He has tried to put all his bad feelings and her family connections behind him and allow his love for her to be shown. In doing this, he is very frank. He says that he did try to separate Bingley and Jane; he accuses Elizabeth of being to proud to see past him and is arrogant in the way he makes his proposal. Elizabeth’s prejudice against Darcy deepens with this proposal and her pride is hurt. She also blames him for Jane and Bingley splitting up and depriving Wickham of advancement.
The relationship between Elizabeth and Darcy evolves during the novel. When they first meet Elizabeth’s pride is hurt and prejudice against Darcy. During the following months Elizabeth meets Wickham and her prejudice against Darcy prevents her from seeing past his good looks and the real person he is. Elizabeth and Darcy also meet several times and Darcy begins to fall in love with Elizabeth. However, when Darcy proposes the first time Elizabeth rejects him because she is proud and is prejudice against him. She uses the lies told by Wickham as a just reason to reject him. Darcy tells her of Wickham’s real character and when they next meet, to her surprise Darcy is courteous and warm. Elizabeth realises she has misjudged Darcy and loves him. However the elopement of Lydia and Wickham prevents her to advance in the relationship with Darcy until he pays Wickham off to marry Lydia to prevent scandal. When Elizabeth and Darcy finally marry, Darcy’s pride has been humbled and her prejudice erased. When showing Elizabeth’s changing feelings towards Darcy, Jane Austen uses the things she sees in an ideal marriage:
“…above respect and esteem…”
“She respected, she esteemed…”
Jane Austen uses language to show Elizabeth very much likes Darcy and is starting to warm to him:
“…she thought of his regard with a deeper sentiment of gratitude than it had ever raised before; she remembered its warmth, and softened its impropriety of expression.”
“Never in her life had she seen his manners so little dignified, never had he spoken with such gentleness…”
Elizabeth’s thoughts on Darcy now tell us a great deal of what Jane Austen thought of love and relationships. She thinks respect and esteem are a great factor, she also thinks manners and behaviour plays an important part in love and relationships. Also Elizabeth now seems to understand Darcy’s character more, which is a vital part of love for someone in Jane Austen’s eyes.
Ironically Lady Catherine is the thing that finally brought Elizabeth and Darcy together. Before Elizabeth’s encounter with lady Catherine neither Elizabeth nor Darcy knew what to do about their feelings. When Elizabeth refused to deny any engagement between her and Darcy to Lady Catherine, Darcy tells Elizabeth:
“It taught me to hope as I had scarcely ever allowed myself to hope before.”
The person who wanted so much to drive them apart has finally brought them together. Elizabeth and Darcy had to both make sacrifices and to compromise to make the relationship between them work. Darcy acknowledges Elizabeth has humbled him:
“By you, I was properly humbled.”
Darcy has changed in the fact he knows not to let his pride take over, Elizabeth knows not to let prejudice get in the way, not to judge anyone on first appearances and to let prejudice for someone affect your judgement of someone else. Elizabeth also acknowledges that her witty, spirited personality will make a good foil to Darcy’s serious nature.
When Elizabeth announces their engagement to her family Jane and Mr Bennet are surprised by the news. Jane makes sure her sister is marrying Darcy because she loves him:
“And do you really love him quite well enough?…do anything rather than marry without affection.”
Jane’s caring nature shines through here, she adores her sister and makes sure she is sure of the marriage to Darcy. Mr Bennet worries about the engagement of his daughter, he asks Elizabeth and she declares to her father:
“I love him.”
Her father, in an unsuccessful marriage himself, understands Elizabeth’s love for Darcy and knows she could never marry just for economical reasons:
“I know that you could be neither happy now respectable, unless you truly esteemed your husband; unless you looked up to him as a superior. Your lively talents would place you in the greatest danger in an unequal marriage.”
This is one of the few times Mr Bennet shows any sort of role as a parent. Mrs Bennet shows how superficial she is and forgets how much she dislikes Darcy. It is the prospect of Elizabeth marrying a rich man, which has her excited;
“…how rich and how great you will be!”
Elizabeth and Darcy have a very good chance of a successful marriage. The four qualities Jane Austen talks about are present in their marriage. Affection, they hold affection for each other, displayed to each other and other people. Elizabeth openly told her father and sister she loves Darcy and they tell each other they do. Respect, they know each other well enough to show respect for each other and respect each other’s thoughts and feelings. When Elizabeth and Darcy talk about the elopement of Lydia and what Darcy did Darcy tells Elizabeth:
“But your family owe me nothing. Much as I respect them, I believe, I thought only of you.”
Esteem, they now value each other and feel highly of one another Elizabeth tells Jane she:
“…I love him better than I do Bingley.”
Darcy also tells Elizabeth:
“…but for you, dearest, loveliest Elizabeth!”
Confidence, they both have confidence in each other and confidence in their relationship.
“…Mr Darcy was really the object of her choice…”
There marriage has overcome so many things for them to be together and they both perfectly understand each other’s characters. This marriage will last and both Elizabeth and Darcy will love each other.
Jane Austen thought an ideal marriage should contain four things affection, respect, esteem and confidence. A couple had to have all four things in a marriage for it to last and to be successful. Love is one of but many factors and should not be taken on alone. The four things Jane Austen thinks that contribute to a marriage must all be there, in her eyes, for a marriage to be successful. Marriages must not be based on passion and attraction alone. The marriages in the novel, which are what Jane Austen regards as a good marriage, are those of the Gardiners, Jane and Bingley and Elizabeth and Darcy. Austen makes sure her heroines of the novel Elizabeth and also Jane do not end up in a loveless marriage. Jane Austen shows that marriages based on passion or money may last but will not be successful. Love can evolve over a period of time and love doesn’t necessarily have to be instant. All the ideal marriages in the novel show all four characteristics.
In my opinion I think the following marriages are successful the Gardiners, Jane and Bingley and Elizabeth and Darcy. The Gardiners are shown in contrast to the Bennets in the novel. The Bennets lack of breeding and bad parenting is shown up by the Gardiners who are the complete opposite. Elizabeth even turns to the Gardiners more than her own parents. Jane and Bingley are an example of the strict social rules, they keep to the guidelines and are not outspoken, ironically, this almost leads to them not getting back together. Yet they are so alike they understand each other completely and have all four characteristics Jane Austen thinks are in a good marriage. Elizabeth and Darcy are an example of how people can get over their opinions of each other to love each other. In doing this they get to know one another completely and have all four characteristics Jane Austen talks about. The marriages of Jane and Bingley and Elizabeth and Darcy are shown in contrast to those of Charlotte and Mr Collins and Lydia and Wickham. These marriages are not going to be successful at all. Charlotte Lucas and Mr Collins are only married for economical reasons; they do not love each other and do not have any of the four qualities Jane Austen thinks should be in an ideal marriage. Lydia and Wickham are together purely on passion and attraction, this will soon fade and they will discover that they are not compatible at all.
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Laura Williams 10W1/10ND