‘The darkest month of all the year is the month of Janiveer’
2nd January
It was an early wake for school this morning, as I wanted to make sure I was ready and lively to teach the pupils. It is hard for me to walk into the room I’m teaching in without thinking that these aren’t the correct working conditions for children to learn in. The children all trundled in from the frosty conditions outside with flushed faces. The children would wear rags for clothes with a shawl and a bonnet to keep them reasonably warm.
Today was a day where I met a boy called Pip, a boy who seemed different to all the other students, and a boy who wanted to better himself and was willing to learn. However he was also a boy who was almost illiterate and I felt it was my job to teach him how to read and write so he can aspire to his full potential. This is a new challenge for me, and quite a responsibility. As Pip was the same age as me and I could see it would be quite a transition if I could get Pip to gradually be able to read and write, however I worried that this was just my imagination and he didn’t really want to further his education. All the other pupils didn’t really seem interested in class they just sat there with their shawl wrapped round them tightly, which kept them warm in the ice-cold room as Mrs Wopsle watched on lazily. This made me realise that things were bad but there was nothing I could do about it.
Spring 1816
‘Where are the songs of spring, aye, where are they?
Think of them though hast the music too.’ John kecks
2nd April
The sun glistened through my curtains this morning to wake me at an earlier time than usual. Spring was now upon us and colourful flowers were starting to blossom from the ground. I looked out the window and I saw farmers hard at work, harvesting their own strips of land. I also say animals grazing on the mud stricken fields. A new start, lent was over and spring was certainly showing its best qualities on the once barren landscape. I am beginning to get concerned about Pip, he seemed to show Estella too much respect and in a way it is obvious that he is falling in love with her. Estella seems like a woman who is usually cold, cruel and uninterested in Pip. Miss Havisham raised her from the age of three, to torment men and break their hearts. She’s got all the qualities her mother has, cold, cynical and manipulative. Estella seems to represent Pip’s desire; he wants to become an upper class gentleman so he can marry Estella. I question young Pip’s judgement in this matter; I feel that marrying Estella would be something he may regret in the future.
17th April
Pip became a blacksmith apprentice at the forge today, I feel this is quite good news that he is getting himself a job. Even though the pay is low and hours are long. It should make him more independent, which may help him later on in life if he continues his quest to go to London. However after speaking to Pip he seems ashamed that he’s working at the Forge as a blacksmith, he feels that his ambitions are ruined just because he’s became a common labourer. He feels that he doesn’t have a future now and he is just going to work as a Blacksmith all his life, he is certainly very downbeat about the job. Reality has struck Pip; he now knows that it’s going to be difficult for him to become the gentleman he wants to be. He doesn’t want to be wearing old rags going to his work, he wants to be wearing fine suits with a tailor made hat. I feel that a lot of this was to do with the fact that Estella would still look down on him and most likely make fun of him.
May 2nd
Today was a very significant day that will result in me moving home, Mrs Joe was attacked today. I don’t know much about the attack and certainly don’t even wish to think about who may have committed this ghastly deed. All I know is that I will be moving to the Forge, with Pip, Joe and obviously Mrs Joe who we will be looking after. I am not really bothered about moving and I am defiantly more than willing to help Mrs Joe on her way back to recovery. Ill probably be doing a lot of cooking which I enjoy anyways so it should be all right. It is also good to know I’ve got my friends around me with Pip, and Joe. Whereas it was harder with Mrs Wopsle as we always had more of a professional relationship, rather than a friendly one. It was also a significant for Pip and his move to London was a step closer, a lawyer by the name of Mr Jaggers informed Pip of a sum of money he would receive from a benefactor. The sum of money is believed to be around 500 pounds. I am oblivious to who the benefactor may be and quite shocked that one has came forward, Pip’s never mentioned anyone like that. Anyway Pip is defiantly made up his mind and is leaving for London later on this week. However I do question his motives, but I have so far managed to keep my mouth shut about it. I do hope he does well down in London its just that there’s a feeling inside me that’s telling me he wont. Pip does not want to be poor, which I can understand but I sometimes feel that Pip rarely gives himself credit for what he does and ends up thinking he has to change. I worry that if he becomes a wealthy gentleman in London he’ll act the way he thinks a gentleman should act, which is probably snobbish and cowardly. Maybe Its just jealously that is causing me to think this way, yet I’m still happy for Pip.
Summer 1820
July 23rd
Summer is finally upon us and days are a lot longer, flowers are blossoming in the intense sun that is now beaming down on me. I sit here at the forge watching the luscious landscape, which is somewhat ruined by the floating hulks prison in the background. Poppies and wheat are starting to grow on the fields outside, watched over by children of about ten years old. It’s the time of the year in which I don’t have to teach, as children are forced to work in the fields on bailing hay. I’m not particularly pleased about this as I do like to teach children however sometimes my job seems impossible and it’s a break I enjoy and cherish. It’s a great time of the year in which many people enjoy the festivities of the flowers blossoming. You often see people going for picnics on a fine spring afternoon; they would eat many different types of food and wash it down with jugs of beer.
Letter to pip
My Dear Mr Pip.
‘I write this by request of Mr Gargery, for to let you know that he is going to London in company with Mr Wopsle and would be glad if agreeable to be allowed to see you’
August 2nd
Today I wrote a letter to Pip simply on behalf of Joe asking if it would be ok for him to visit Pip in London. It was to also tell him that we still think of him while he is away and that we all do still care. I hope Pip welcomes the visit of Joe, however I have a feeling that he may not want to see Joe walk back into his life. This may be just me imagining things, perhaps he’s just like he was before he left for London and he hasn’t changed at all. Although I do feel he must have changed in someway to impress his love, Estella. When Joe gets back I will be interested to know if Pip has mentioned me to Joe and whether he still thinks fondly of me. I would be devastated if Pip was a changed man and didn’t care for any of us back home anymore. Lets hope he’s the same old Pip.
August 22nd
I spoke to Joe for the first time since he had been back today; I straightaway asked how Pip was doing in London. Joe said he was doing well and enjoying life down there. I then went on to ask the question that was really playing on my mind. Has he changed at all? This question probably bared the answer I didn’t want to hear. Joe told me how Pip had changed dramatically, he spoke of how posh and snooty he seemed, I predicted this along time ago maybe I should have tried to persuade Pip not to go to London. Although I was a little bit more spirited as the conversation went on, Joe mentioned how Pip still seemed to care about us back home and asked how we were getting on. He also said that there were signs of the old Pip, the Pip we all used to know and love. At least Pip has said that he’s coming to visit us soon, that is probably when I’ll find out how much he has really changed.
Autumn 1822
October 2nd
Today was a sad day for many as Mrs Joe was finally lay to rest at her funeral today. The weather was atrocious as autumn is now upon us gale force winds swept leaves across the gloomy and bleak air. Heavy rain was also descending from the dark sky above as we all stood their wrapped in heavy raincoats. Pip was in attendance at the funeral a day that pretty much prompted his visit; he had to show his respect for ‘our’ Mrs Joe. He had changed quite a bit but I realised deep down inside he was still the Joe that I used to know. The main things that had changed about him were his clothes instead of wearing his normal trousers, a dark shirt and a bonnet with a shawl in the wintertime; he would now wear a thick suit, with a gentleman’s hat. This doesn’t bother me mind, I’m just glad to see him back. Another thing that has changed about Pip is his accent, he now has a strong London accent, which annoys me but certainly doesn’t offend me. I don’t think Joe is too fond of it either. Well today has been a mentally tiring day thinking of all the times I’ve had of Mrs Joe and mourning over her death.
October 31st
It had come to the time of year when blackberries are ripe enough for me to pick so I can make my delicious Blackberry Pie. While picking the blackberries I have been thinking quite a lot today, about how Joe has been there for me all the time and without Mrs Joe he’s my one true friend who I’m always with. There’s obviously a place in my heart for Pip, but he’s gone off to lead a separate life. My only real trustworthy friend is Joe, I’ve been thinking that maybe Joe is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with and have children with him…maybe its just a mad thought and I’ll feel totally different about it tomorrow. I’ll just have to wait and see.
Autumn
Thou comest, autumn, heralded by the rain,
With banners, by great gales incessant fanned,
Brighter than brightest silks of Samarcand,
And stately oxen harnessed to thy wain!
Henry Wadsworth
November 13th
Today I realised that my earlier feelings about maybe falling in love with Joe weren’t fake and I am defiantly in love with the man, he’s the man I want to marry. So many things are happening in my world, such as Mrs Joe dying, me falling in love with Joe, my heads filled with different emotions. Not to forget world issues with King George accusing Queen Caroline of adultery and putting her on trial for divorce, Although I’m too mixed up in my own emotions to be thinking about that. If I tell Joe of my feelings I am unsure of how he will react I wouldn’t want to jeopardize our friendship in any way, but maybe I’ll regret not taking any action if I don’t tell him. All I can do is keep thinking about it then if I decide to tell him I will make sure it is at the right time. I wouldn’t want to declare my feeling so early after the recent death of Mrs. Joe.
Prayer- for Joe, Pip and especially Mrs Joe.
We commend into your hands, o’ lord.
Those whom we have loved you gave their breath, and loved their lives.
Receive them now I’m your infinite tenderness,
And give them peace.