From the next stanza onwards, there is a change in tone. It is almost as if through the writing of the poem, the poet has come to a decision. The whole poem is practically her thought process. The “yet” in the first line denotes a change of tone. She now tells him that if he should “forget her for a while, and afterwards remember, do not grieve.” The whole poem is now on a different course; it seems as if she wants him to forget her now. She goes on to explain why she says this:
“For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.”
She is saying that if in death, she still is able to think clearly, she would release him from “remembering her”. She realises that by asking him to remember and pine for her after her death is plainly and purely selfish. She now understands that if she loves him that much, she would let him forget and get on with his life.
The second poem, when we two parted by Lord Byron, deals with separation in another way. This separation is not exactly a physical one but is more of a rift in his mind between him and her. The title of the poem clearly reflects its theme.
The structure of the poem as with Remember is strict. There is a deliberately strict rhyme scheme to portray an apparent ability to control his emotions.
The poem starts as a repetition of the title. This is used as emphasis:
“When we two parted
In silence and tears,
Half-broken hearted
To sever for years,”
He uses simple language to garner sympathy. “Half-broken hearted” because he was the only one who was heartbroken, she didn’t feel the full impact and was merely half broken hearted. “To sever for years” shows that it has been a long time since they parted and there is a passing of time.
“Pale grew thy cheek and cold,
Colder thy kiss;”
This line portrays her feelings at the time of separation. There is no description of his emotions as he is trying to hide it. The repetition here is used for emphasis very successfully. However, it shows how acute his senses were at the time and how much he had cared for her, if he had remembered so clearly all these details after they had been apart for so many years. The next two lines are “truly that hour foretold sorrow to this.” It seemed to be an omen at the time to him.
The second stanza, starts with: ”The dew of the morning” This denotes that they had to meet in secret, when no one was awake and about which suggest that their affair was illicit. Since this is in a 19th century context, the reader can then deduce that the woman was married and therefore, their relationship must be kept secret. He then injects his feelings about the situation then in the lines:
“The dew of the morning,
Sunk chill on my brow-
It felt like a warning
Of what I feel now.”
Repetition is used to highlight the fact that everything that morning had felt like a warning of what was to come. Visual imagery is used to effect here in the same way as in Christina Rossetti’s Remember. The setting of the place provides an important backdrop to the character’s emotions.
“Thy vows are all broken”. At this point, the reader is unsure whether he is referring to her marriage vows or her vows to him. She could have sworn to love him, even as she was to live with her husband and have no contact whatsoever with him anymore. In both case scenarios, it can be inferred that she has run off with another lover. “And light is thy fame.” This shows that in the 19th century, any woman who slept with another man other than her husband would be ostracized in society. Using it to highlight Christina Rosetti’s Remember, it goes to show how women were the ones who should never be brazen and for whom decisions should always be made. The fact that this lady being spoken about in When We Two Parted made a decision to run off with this man makes her totally unconventional and therefore, people of the time ostracized her. At this point, whatever she has of a reputation is in tatters. He says that whenever her name is spoken of, he does “share in its shame”. He doesn’t show any defense for her at all. This sounds cruel to the reader as if he did once have feelings for her, then she should be dear enough for him to stand up and defend her. Instead, because she has run off with another man, he bows with shame at the knowledge that he had anything to do with her. This goes further to show that in the 19th century, to run off with another man was almost unheard of and greatly immoral. What comes next is a further look into his viewpoint on what is going on after her departure.
Her name, whenever spoken is like a ‘death bell’ to his ears. There is an extremely strong contrast to the clichéd phrase of love: ‘her name was like music to my ears.’ Clearly, the poet isn’t trying to give an impression of sorrow at her departure. The effect is so great that he “shudders” at the thought that she “wert so dear.” He places this as a question (Why wert thou so dear?) which depicts a sense of regret that he even had a relationship with her.
Again, the fact that their affair was a secret and forbidden one is shown once more in the next stanza as he states
“They know not I knew thee,
Who knew thee too well.”
The use of “they” here groups the rest of the people against him and her. He also says that he knew her “too well”. Similar to the previous stanza, a note of regret can be found in this line.
He then uses repetition to great effect in the line:
“Long, long shall I rue thee,
Too deeply to tell”
The next stanza commences with
“In secret we met,
In silence I grieve”
Whatever hints at what the relationship between the man and the woman that are given through out the poem up to this point are now revealed. Also, the perfect tense is used when he talks about their meetings, but the present tense is used when he speaks about his grievance.
“That thy heart could forget,
thy spirit deceive”
Only in this stanza does he write about his true feelings. In all the previous stanzas, he tries to give an impression that he is in control and almost stands remotely from the events. No sign that he still cared for her was given. Instead, they all strived to provide the completely opposite effect. This stanza however, is his admittance of his feelings. That he’s disappointed that she had forgotten about her love for him. That he is bitter that she had chosen to run off with another man other than him. That she had been willing to make the sacrifice of her reputation for this man, but not for him.
The last stanza contains the lines:
“If I should meet thee
After long years
How should I greet thee?
-In silence and tears”
It sums up his true feelings on the whole matter. He questions himself on what should he say to her if he ever met her again. And contrary to what the reader is led to think in the first few stanzas, he does care about her still after all; hence the “silence and tears.”
The third poem “Never give all the heart” was written by W.B Yeats after he was rejected a number of times by the woman he loved. What further strengthened the blow was the fact that she later on married another man. A similarity to be seen between all the poems is that in all of them, the poets are actually writing about themselves. All of them happen to show a baring of the narrator’s soul.
The tone of this poem, similar to When We Two Parted, is bitter, reflecting his feelings about the way women treat men. However, Lord Byron takes the superior stance in When We Two Parted while what Yeats is trying to portray is the vulnerability of men. This is an interesting point to note because of the different times in which they were written. When We Two Parted was written at the start of the 19th century while Never Give All The Heart was written right at the end. Through these two poems we can see the evolvement of the stereotyped roles of men and women. Women living in the pre 19th century era would have been naturally submissive. They would have thought that doing so was completely natural and wouldn’t have questioned it. However, at the time when Never Give All The Heart was written, this seemingly natural order of men above women was starting to shift. The unique thing about this poem is that it provides an entirely different and radical opinion of attitudes of women towards men. In many instances, the woman is portrayed as the victim. But in this poem, there is a reversal of roles and the men are portrayed as the victims. Again the 19th century context makes it all the more unusual.
The rhyme scheme is constant throughout the poem but the number of syllabus varies without a particular pattern. This mirrors how he describes the way woman love in the poem: ever changing and fickle. Enjambment is used to great effect as the reader has to stop and think over what was said before moving on to the next line.
The title of the poem, “Never give all the heart” already indicates that the poem is a caution against loving someone with everything you’ve got.
This is then repeated in the first line of the poem, which is used for emphasis. He then continues
“Love will hardly seem worth thinking of
to passionate women if it seem certain.”
From the start of the poem, he clearly lays out a summary of what he’s trying to say- That women are fickle; if they are certain that they have ensnared the heart of a certain man, they will lose interest in him after that.
He follows this idea up by saying that
“They never dream
That it fades out from kiss to kiss.”
He extends the previous idea by now adding that they never put in any effort to sustain a relationship. He suggests that women go along with a relationship without thinking that work has to be put into it to make it work. He justifies his negative viewpoint on this behaviour by saying that
“For everything that is lovely is
but a brief, dreamy, kind delight.”
The use of three adjectives here is highly effective in showing the contrast.
He ends this particular stanza by saying “O never give the heart outright”. This is stronger than the initial “Never give all the heart” because “Never give all the heart” is a statement while “O never give the heart outright” more like a plea.
“For they, for all smooth lips can say,
Have given their hearts up to the play.”
“For they” here creates us sense of ‘us and them’ for the men. He says that “for all smooth lips can say.” He’s indicating that men should never trust anything a woman says. The “smooth” in this sentence once again shows the reversal of roles because the phrase ‘a smooth talker’ is normally used to describe a man, not a woman. The “play” here can have many interpretations. Is he talking about the play of love, or life? But whatever it is, the effects of the women “giving their hearts up to the play” is described in the next two lines:
“And who could play it well enough
if deaf and dumb and blind with love?”
He gives the reason for women to act this way as that if they fall in love, they won’t be able to play this game well anymore. They will be tied down by the string and boundaries that love carries with it and thus, women don’t commit themselves to love.
He ends the poem on an embittered note through saying:
“He that made this knows all the cost,
for he gave all his heart and lost.”
He’s telling people that he once gave all his heart, and got hurt in the process. He provides the reader with a concrete example, the aim being that the reader will be more inclined to believe it.
The tones of the poems give accurate depictions of the poets’ emotions which might be masked by the way they express themselves as it is in the case of When we two parted. As with other aspects, the tone of When we two parted is similar to that of Never give all the heart. They are both bitter ones, disappointed over the fact that they have failed to fully capture the hearts women they loved. There is however, different ‘shades’ of tones to When we two parted, On one level, it seems indignant that she is willing to sacrifice her reputation for her lover and not the poet, on another, it seems disappointed at the fact that she let go of her love for him. And the impression of the standoffish-ness he tries to create in the first stanzas is formed by the use of a cold and remote tone. Remember’s tone is desperate in the first few stanzas and later on calm as she finally gets to a point where she understands the whole scenario and what she must do. It doesn’t bear any resemblance to the tones of When We Two Parted and Never Give All the Heart.
All three poems deal with unwilling separation. In Remember, the woman is being dragged from life into death, in When We Two Parted, the guy watches his ex-lover fall in love and run off with another man, which she wouldn’t do for him, and in the last, Never give all the heart, he suffers as she repeatedly rejects him, and married another man later on. While When We Two Parted and Never Give All the Heart have parallels, Remember is different from both of them.