Grace Nichols has used rhyme in parts of each poem, in ‘Up My Spine’, the first two lines on the third paragraph rhyme.
‘I see her missing tow
her jut-out hipbone
from way back time when she had a fall’.
In ‘The Fat Black Woman Goes Shopping’ she has placed the rhyme at the end of the poem.
‘The fat black woman could only conclude
that when it came to fashion
the choice is lean
Nothing much beyond the size 14’.
The rhyme in ‘Up My Spine’ is very good at giving you vivid picture of how the old lady looks. In the ‘Fat Black Woman Goes Shopping’ the rhyme at the end really sums up what the poem is about, a lady who desperately wants to fit in with society, but finds it difficult because of her size and race!
She has missed out words in only ‘The Fat Black Woman Goes Shopping’; here are a couple of examples,
‘And the weather so cold’.
Here she has missed out ‘is’ between ‘weather’ and ‘cold’, it should read ‘And the weather is so cold.’
‘Lord is aggravating’.
Here she has missed out ‘it’ between ‘lord’ and ‘is’, it should read ‘Lord it is aggravating’. The reason for the missing words is that she is pretending to be a character other than herself. In my opinion this is strong evidence that the fat black woman is not in her own country. This is not the only evidence that suggests this. Right at the begging of the poem she states the weather is cold, this could be because she isn’t yet acclimatised to Great Britain’s climate. She can speak Swahili and Yoruba witch is her national language and has also spelt the word ‘the’ wrong frequently, she has spelt it ‘de’, for example.
‘Shopping in London winter
is a real drag for the fat black woman
going from store to store
in search of accommodating clothes
and de weather so cold’.
In ‘Up My Spine’ she has not miss out word or included strange spelling because she is not impersonating anyone.
Grace Nichols has not used any proper punctuation, the only thing that she has done in both poems is put a capital letter at the begging of each verse, as if it was a new sentence.
Although it is not expressed in ‘The Fat Black Woman Goes Shopping’ I think being black plays a big part in this poem, this woman is very self conscious about her wait anyway but because of her colour it is dramatically multiplied. I also think, when Grace Nichols wrote this she really wanted to deliver the message of how it feels to be persecuted for something you can not change, and how modern day society puts pressure on not only women but men as well to fit in, unfortunately this means not be your own person, witch is a great shame! As for ‘Up My Spine’ it is more about economic exploitation which will be covered later on.
Just as in race, Grace Nichols also has very strong feelings about woman’s rights which is displayed in both poems. For they both depict on how the women are lily treated. I conclude she has done this to try and inform society that women all around the world today are still being treated as third class.
I suspect ‘Up my spine’ has a lot to do with economic exploitation, for she appears beaten as if she was once a slave, For example.
‘I see her ravaged skin
the stripes of mold
where the whip fall hard’.
Also in the third paragraph first line it states that she has a missing tow.
In ‘the fat black woman goes shopping’ consumer society is the main situation. You get a strong feeling she resents young good looking women and even the mannequins in the shop window, for example.
‘look at the frozen thin mannequins
fixing her with a grin
and the pretty face salesgals
exchanging slimming glances
thinking she don’t notice’.
The consumer society gives a strong impression that if you don’t look thin and beautiful like the mannequins, you’re not attractive.
I think that both of these poems have been written to give a strong message to society ‘The Fat Black Woman Goes Shopping’ is about women’s rights as is ‘Up My Spine’. ‘The Fat Black Woman Goes Shopping’ is more social and personal and ‘Up My Spine’ is more physical. Both include alliteration and similes such as,
‘soft and bright and billowing’.
(Alliteration.)
‘shaky like a cripple insect’.
(Simile.)
This is for a more dramatic and grasping effect, I think they have been successful achieving.
Thomas Clark-Watson 10H.
