Creative Writing - Isolated.

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                                        Isolated

They have the impertinence to label me introvert, my family, school and everyone that ‘knows’ me. Yet they all constantly cluster me with insults which hurt me so bad it was as if some one was cutting deeply into my heart with a freshly sharpened knife, resulting in my mind revolving around these hurtful but factual comments, wishing that I could alter myself so I could have a better looking physical appearance so I could be accepted, and would not attract these demoralizing, life damaging comments.

My mum, whilst I was in the early process of growing up, never called me beautiful or complimented me in the way other mums did to their children, I would observe how other children’s parents my age would describe their daughter’s as their “ beautiful little princess” and various other wonderful names. I remembered the desire I had in my heart to hear my mum call me a name like that complimenting my appearance or just me myself, even if she was to just say it once I would be filled with so much joy and happiness, like a toddler being kept in side a small room for a long period of time being set to run in a big field to play for hours. My mum never compliments me or calls me nice names like other parents do to their children because there is nothing she can say that is nice about me, because I am over-weight and ugly and everyone is aware of it, I can not hide, I try hiding myself inside my hoods of my jackets and mostly wear black coloured clothing, this way I feel safe because I am covered and none of my face is displayed and my fat is slightly veiled so that others are not as sickened by, but when I have to take my hood back down I am unsafe again, just like in school I become unsafe again and I am reminded again of how I look by the other students, as if it isn’t enough being reminded by the evil mirror everyday,  wherever I go I cant escape, I walk down the road and there is shops, horrible shops with windows staring back at me my reflection, I feel trapped inside my horrible skin and I am trying to get out but I cant, there’s no way out. Even my mum tells me im fat, and I must exercise more frequent and some time’s refers to me “Fatty” or “Ugly”, although she does not say it in a serious manner I know she’s thinking it really deep down because I am, and everyone is aware of, it’s not something I can disguise.

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People believe I am introvert because I don’t talk to no-one, this is because I can not talk to no-one. Everyone around me is horrible to me each time I say something I am teased, this has happened to me all my life where ever I go, even when I am simply walking down the street people look at me in amazement and disgust, wondering how I turned out so ugly. Starting conversation with people draws attention to myself, this is why I simply keep my self to my self, horrible people have made me this way I never ...

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