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Quality of writing
The quality of writing is generally excellent. Spelling, punctuation and grammar are very accurate. Communication is aided through complex and varied sentences, along with a rich vocabulary. Though a minor criticism, it is generally bad practice to ask questions in academic essays; remember, the examiner wants to you answer questions, not ask them! Technical terminology is used to good effect, though the writer sometimes shows a tendency to list features, such as imagery, without fully describing their uses or effects. To further improve, the writer may include a higher level of terminology; for example the “weightiness†described in the first stanza is better referred to as being ‘spondaic’, the stressed syllables (‘spondees’) creating the weighty effect noted by the writer.
Level of analysis
The writer’s analysis is proficient and shows a sensitive awareness of the subtext of the poem, though on occasion the writer needs to refer to the text more often to support their comments. The significance of the sharp change in tone between stanzas is explored well, though again reference to the text, (perhaps to the initiation of a semantic field of violence/battle and fear with “rank†and “angryâ€Â, or the harshness conveyed through the alliteration of “coarse croakingâ€Â) would have helped to support the writer’s claims and show a deeper understanding of the text. Though interesting, the writer’s comments occasionally perhaps stray too far from the text into personal speculation, which is unlikely to gain many marks in an exam, but will waste valuable time. Adherence to a clear “Point-Evidence-Explain†structure will help all but the most able of candidates (to whom this may still be advisable, but may choose to otherwise express their ideas) to convey their thoughts clearly and with adequate textual reference. The writer’s structure is generally good however, with a clear and concise introduction and a strong conclusion.
Response to question
Though working without a prompt to focus the response, the writer competently explores the general use of language and primary themes of ‘Death of a Naturalist’. The writer perceptively describes the author’s transition from the playful innocence of youth to the burdensome awareness of maturity, as represented through the metaphorical “Death†referred to in the title (a point sadly not included in the essay!).