The second type of abuse is neglect. Neglect is when the child is not getting the required attention from their parent or not getting fed and clothed. Neglect is not when your parents confiscate your mobile phone, or stop you going out with friends, as you don’t need either of these to survive, and they are normally only administered as disciplinary actions.
The final type of abuse is emotional abuse. Emotional abuse is being called names or the parent telling the child it is not worthy enough to live, sometimes the adult may also make the child feel responsible for things such as their divorce, money problems or stress.
It is important to know the reasons why adults put children through abuse, so that we can help to tackle the problem at it’s cause.
There are many reasons why parents put a child through abuse, but once again there are three main ones.
The first one, dates back to the adults own childhood. Have you ever heard of the saying, when people grow up, they grow up to be their parent? As Dana describes it in her poem:
“We scared ourselves by thinking that,
And scared ourselves to know,
That we were acting just like them –
And might ever more be so.”
If the child’s abuser was abused when they were younger, then the abuser, may abuse children because they feel that it is either right morally, the correct way to treat a child, or by abusing someone else they feel that have had their own revenge.
The second main reason why children are abused is because parents are on drugs or are an alcoholic. When someone is under the impression of alcohol, you can get two effects: the happy drunk and the angry drunk. Most of the time, you end up with the angry drunk, which gets mad at the child for no reason. Furthermore, the abuser could regard the child as threat to their supply of drugs, because a child needs you to pay money to look after it correctly, this means they wouldn’t have enough money to pay for their addiction.
The last main reason for abuse is depression. Depression can cause you to feel guilty, which the abuser will then take out on the child. They tell the child it is its’ fault for why they are depressed, and then believe what they are saying and think that the child should be ‘punished.’
The effects of child abuse could go on and on, but there are three that are the most noticeable. Dana says in her poem:
“Some of us are healing
and some of us are stealing
most are passing anger on
we give our lives away to drugs,
for the promise of a life beyond.”
In this extract she describes the first effect of child abuse, drugs and alcohol. Drugs and alcohol take a big role in teenager’s lives today, but sometimes when they give the reason “I’m just having a bit of fun,” they aren’t telling the whole truth, and they are actually looking for a way to escape, because Alcohol and drugs can turn the memories fuzzy so that they are forgotten and they can feel like they have ‘escaped’ for a short time.
“We who grew up broken
Are somewhat out of time,
struggling to med our childhood,
when our peers are in their prime.”
Dana once again points out another major effect, suicide and self harm. When those that are being abused watch the ‘real people’ have a great time, they feel left out and that no one cares about them. They begin to feel like one big mistake in the world and thoughts of suicide appear in their mind. Some don’t want to do it, so they suffer by cutting or burning themselves. Sometimes children, but mostly teenagers, are not recognized when this effect takes over them and they are unfortunately lost to the negative thoughts that over-power their brain. Dana leaves us with this last effect:
“Where others find love
And contentment
We still have to strive
To remember what we’re worth,
And that we’re heroes to be alive.”
The third effect of child abuse is when the child pulls back from the world; they keep to themselves, and don’t want any friends. When growing up as an abused child, the relationship with their parents is destroyed and they fear all other relationships, because they will always think that the worse is going to happen, and they feel that they can’t trust any one. Also, when they back away from the world, they create a belief, that they won’t get hurt again, and because of this sense of security they believe it is better to just be alone.
In conclusion, child abuse is hidden all over the world. Children and teenagers have learned to hide their abusement, so well it is becoming very difficult to find and help those children that are harmed. This means that they are left alone, because no one is willing to hear about their depressing life and they are scared to tell anyone in fear their abuser will hurt them again. To end my speech I will leave you with the last verse of Dana’s poem:
“Wounded trust is like a wounded knee—
it is very hard to bend.
Please remember this poem when,
We are out of sorts.
Tell us the truth, and be our friend.
For those who are broken…
it is very hard to mend.”
